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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents who encourage children to have crushes

56 replies

Giveitarestwillya · 22/03/2023 12:22

I can’t stand parents who encourage and tease their children to have crushes, especially primary age children. I have a friend who always does this, even from reception age, she’s always saying ooo is that your boyfriend/girlfriend just because they are talking to another child. Or my Billy has a crush on your Lola, fuck they are 5years old.

There are also parents at my dcs school who do this, they constantly go on about their DS having a crush on my DD since yr 3/4, every time we see them they go on about how he’s so excited to see her, wearing his best clothes, brushing his hair! They are fucking primary aged kids! My DD is totally embarrassed by it as they openly tease him in front of her. They did the same encouraging their older DCs and it caused nothing but upset for their older DCs getting knocked back, struggling emotionally and mentally pinning for their crush, fuck their 13 tried taking a OD when knocked back from a crush they encouraged.

Kids will get crushes naturally when they get older, why the fuck do they need to egg their kids on, especially at a young age.

Am I being unreasonable to think there is something wrong with parents who do this?

OP posts:
Orangebadger · 22/03/2023 14:07

Totally agree! I hate hearing adults referring to opposite sex friendships as boy/ girl friends when kids are so young, actually of any age. Can they just not be friends ffs!? I hear lots of parents doing this and gushing over it. Drives me bonkers but people know I hate it so my kids have been spared thank god!

PeanutButterOnTheGrain · 22/03/2023 14:09

This reply has been deleted

The OP is a troll so we've removed their threads to avoid you wasting your time.

Cotswoldmama · 22/03/2023 14:10

I too wonder if it's encouragement to have relationships with the opposite sex. My kids never mention gf or bf and I don't to them, they're only primary school age so maybe they have crushes, I did at that age but I never had a 'boyfriend' at that age! One of my friends is always talking about her sons girlfriends and he seems never to be without one. I know her husband is homophobic and she has said in the past she hopes her child isn't gay because of that and it does make me wonder if she encourages these 'relationships'

Frozen9 · 22/03/2023 14:12

My DD comes home fed up of her class going on and on about who is going out with who and who she should have a crush on. The behaviour is rife in her class.

DarkShade · 22/03/2023 14:14

Totally agree with the heteronormative aspect of it. It's putting people into their "roles" early on and letting them understand that romantic relationships are the most important type of relationship. At the same time it's also done in a mocking way, instigating the idea that romantic feeling is something to be ashamed of, especially for boys.

I've got no time for it. They're children, they don't have romantic relationships. It's weird to put that onto young friendships, and it's weird in general as an adult to deliberately try and embarrass or humiliate young children

cocksstrideintheevening · 22/03/2023 14:43

I have never come across this. Ever.

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