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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I overthinking this?

65 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 21/03/2023 22:45

Colleague from my old role texted me last week. Haven't messaged her in 3 months since I left as been busy. We were close before but life gets in the way.
I told her that the new role was going great and how much I liked my new colleagues. And nothing. No response.
Aibu to wonder why?

OP posts:
Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 18:53

I was wondering why as thought my text was fine. Now I am being told by everyone that it was not.

OP posts:
TheHoover · 22/03/2023 18:58

Yes you are over thinking this

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/03/2023 19:16

TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 18:53

I was wondering why as thought my text was fine. Now I am being told by everyone that it was not.

If you thought your text was fine and aren't really bothered about the friendship standing the "test of time", why do you care that she hasn't replied?

LonginesPrime · 22/03/2023 19:52

TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 18:53

I was wondering why as thought my text was fine. Now I am being told by everyone that it was not.

It sounds like your text was fine, but it doesn't sound like it warranted a reply.

"Hope you are ok" would've suggested you were done with the conversation.

I don't think you did anything wrong (since you admit you didn't really want to hear the details of her situation anyway), but YWBU to expect a reply.

cartagenagina · 22/03/2023 19:55

It was pretty insensitive.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 19:56

Ideally I wanted things to end on a good note and she always replies without fail so this was out of character.
Well I thought the text was fine too @LonginesPrime but seems we are in the minority.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 22/03/2023 20:06

TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 19:56

Ideally I wanted things to end on a good note and she always replies without fail so this was out of character.
Well I thought the text was fine too @LonginesPrime but seems we are in the minority.

You want things to end on a good note? But at 18:31 you said it was you that asked for contact details and suggested you keep in touch. You are starting to sound a bit full of yourself, the only thing you seem bothered about is that it was them that ignored you last and not the other way around.

Goodread1 · 22/03/2023 20:07

Hi Op.

I get life moves on and she was good work colleague,

The thing is you said you reached out to her,

Why was that for?
What we're you hoping to gain from it ?

Or

was it her who got in touch first?

Do you want a catch up and get together every so often in a cafe or elsewhere would a more face to face getting together be better,

Or
You just prefer to just leave it and move on,

The thing people are commenting on
You didn't ask anything about her,
.it was just a bland mundane expression almost meaningless,

"hope you Ok,"

Goodread1 · 22/03/2023 20:11

I do get that obviously work 🙄 was the main thing that obviously connected you,

Sometimes a friendship can develop from this
Sometimes not,
Depends on how much of effort you want to put in, and if you have something else in common than just work,

But you will not find out until you make bit more of effort ,
Up to you @TinaTeaspoons

Goodread1 · 22/03/2023 20:13

Ellooo @TinaTeaspoons ?

Are you still around?
Or
Gone off the Op thread for now ?

Wannaloseastone · 22/03/2023 20:22

TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 19:56

Ideally I wanted things to end on a good note and she always replies without fail so this was out of character.
Well I thought the text was fine too @LonginesPrime but seems we are in the minority.

So you did want communication to 'end' but you don't like being ignored? Even though you have been blatantly disinterested in her and her life. Oh OP, you dig yourself deeper and deeper.

if it's true what you say that she always replies without fail (when? you've not been in touch with her for three months, since she becomes useless to you), has it ever crossed your mind that she might be going through some kind of crisis that stops her contacting you? Maybe think, this is out of character, i think I'll get in touch and see if she's okay? Nooooo, of course not. I'll just bitch about her on MN instead, I'll get more attention that way because it's all about me and how i feel and how I've been ignored and cast aside 😫.

BluetheBear · 22/03/2023 20:31

If I texted someone to ask how they are or about their new job and they replied saying it was great and put something like "hope all is well" or "hope you're ok" at the end then I wouldn't feel like they were asking how I am and wouldn't respond. If they said "how are things with you?" then I would.

she could also be busy but you've said she usually replies.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 20:32

I asked for her contact details while I was still working with her and told her to stay in touch. We would text regularly then as had work in common.
She then texted me after 3 months had passed.
She hasn't replied to the reply I sent back. I was as I said, just hoping it could end on a positive note that's all

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 22/03/2023 20:58

TinaTeaspoons · 22/03/2023 20:32

I asked for her contact details while I was still working with her and told her to stay in touch. We would text regularly then as had work in common.
She then texted me after 3 months had passed.
She hasn't replied to the reply I sent back. I was as I said, just hoping it could end on a positive note that's all

If this is what you're hoping to get, then why don't YOU text back again?

Wannaloseastone · 22/03/2023 21:05

Haha, this might be one of the most ridiculous threads I've wasted my time on in a long time. OP, you're deluded or this is all BS and we're being trolled, one way of the other, bye.

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