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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate shared bathrooms and wish I had my own private bathroom?

51 replies

extremeprivacypreferred · 21/03/2023 21:27

I love living with DP in every way but this. If I could choose - I'd have my own private bathroom. Somehow very private away from rest of the flat, maybe through a walk in wardrobe or something? Dunno how the configuration of space would work.

Our one and only bathroom is a windowed en suite, so guests have to go through our bedroom which I also dislike.

I hate shitting in a shared bathroom, where someone goes in soon after me, it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin as it feels so un-private. I just hate it, I know everyone shits, it doesn't make any difference.

OP posts:
Cupcakequeen75 · 21/03/2023 22:18

I have some sympathy.

There are only two of us in our house but we have a bathroom each, it isn't a necessity but we both prefer it that way. Of course when we had a house with only a single bathroom we just got on with it but when we moved and had the choice we decided it suited us.

Cloakroom downstairs for visitors, no need for anyone else to use the upstairs facilities

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/03/2023 22:23

I agree OP. Going for a dump in total confidence that nobody will stage a toilet emergency to disrupt me is a luxury I haven't enjoyed since 2015. This trauma has made me dream of an ultra private toilet retreat.

gogohmm · 21/03/2023 22:24

Try sharing with adult children and their partners! Thankfully we have an ensuite here, before I moved in with dp we only had one bathroom.

CantFindTheBeat · 21/03/2023 22:27

Like @Dibbydoos - Poo Spray is a game changer.

I now keep a tiny bottle in my work make up bag.

Spray in the work loo, loo roll down too to dampen noise... voila, work poo 💩 trauma resolved!

IncessantNameChanger · 21/03/2023 22:27

Devoutspoken · 21/03/2023 22:11

Snacksized raisin, should we all be shagging outside and giving birth in public too, no pain killing drugs either, cos didn't have them in the good old days, who wants human advancement after all

Wait? Don't you just go and crap on the front lawn if someone is using the loo? Or birth in the hospital Costa if the labour suit is on red alert? Fairly standard here. In fact if your near a public paddling pool you can birth there, unless it's the high of school summer holidays, I prefer to squeeze my summer borns out in the Primark changing rooms. Bonus is you can then decide on tiny baby or newborn sizes as you leave.

jays · 21/03/2023 22:35

Right I’ve had my moan and I’m back to the topic at hand. My dp has one bathroom, about 14 steps from the bedroom. Pros …. I can see the shower from the bed and he does daft dances and various carry on shows for me in the shower that make me laugh. Cons …. Oh my god help me I don’t care if I’m daft, I can’t cope with ‘making a windy noise’ while I’m peeing and it’s so near the bedroom and it’s just awful! I put both taps on, brush my teeth and pee all at the same time but if ‘a noise’ comes out….i want to phone an Uber and grab my coat! I can talk to him about anything but good Lord if I fart mid pee I want to flee the county! Why is the bathroom right next to the bedroom! Why!

BellePeppa · 21/03/2023 22:38

I’m with you OP. I would hate to share my bathroom (or rather, toilet) with anyone and luckily I don’t. I have my own (en suite) and the main bathroom is for my son. I’m single and would never now live somewhere if I had to share. I remember Catherine Zeta Jones years ago saying her marriage works because they have separate bathrooms.

LakieLady · 21/03/2023 22:38

I'm just glad to have one that's actually in my house, tbh. We didn't have an indoor toilet or any sort of bathroom until I was nearly 10.

BellePeppa · 21/03/2023 22:44

jays · 21/03/2023 21:56

And one again we have an antagonistic first point trying desperately to set the tone. Is this a sport on here? You win if you get in fast enough with a really rotten, uncharitable and deliberately obtuse reply. What do you even get from it? I genuinely don’t understand. It’s always the first or second post, desperate to set the tone and make it as miserable as possible for the OP from there on in. It’s just really rubbish to see day in day out n here.

Show quote history

And very predictable. Sharing bodily fluids with your partner doesn’t mean you want them hearing you pissing, shitting and farting, not to mention the smells. But as they say, ‘there’s always one’.

EllieM27 · 21/03/2023 22:44

His and hers en suites and walk-ins. 😁

Three of my American family members have them in their homes and they’re brilliant. One bathroom + walk-in closet on each side of the master bedroom. No need to squabble over sinks, toilets, showers, or closet space. Bliss.

jays · 21/03/2023 22:47

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/03/2023 21:59

For most of the history of the human race we've been toileting outside in full view of anyone passing... This obsession with bathroom privacy is another bad side effect of modern life.

hunt grow and harvest every single thing you eat and consume and then get back to me about shitting in the street.

Nevermind31 · 21/03/2023 22:48

I i hear you. love my own bathroom (we have 3, one each and the kids share). We even have our own bathrooms on holiday (although do share if we go somewhere for the night).

BellePeppa · 21/03/2023 22:51

SickickFan · 21/03/2023 22:14

I know exactly where you are coming from OP, I have massive toilet anxiety and don’t like sharing or having others in the vicinity when I need to go.

For the first time we now live in a house with 2 bathrooms so we each have our own and now when we go away I have to find a place with the same set up as it causes me massive anxiety if not. I know other people who are the same so it’s more common than you think…

I have it too. I can’t go to the loo if anyone is near me and if I’m in a row of public loos and someone decides to go in the one next to me even though there are plenty of other free ones it irritates the hell out of me. I’m thankful that I have my own loo at home. I get stomach upsets easily (colon cancer survivor) so I really need my own private space.

TheOrigRights · 21/03/2023 22:53

Having never ever lived anywhere with my own bathroom it's just something you get on with.
I will get my own when DS2 leaves home, but I'm not wishing his life away just so I can crap in peace.

BellePeppa · 21/03/2023 22:56

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/03/2023 21:59

For most of the history of the human race we've been toileting outside in full view of anyone passing... This obsession with bathroom privacy is another bad side effect of modern life.

Are you seriously trying to say that shitting in public is good and toileting privately is bad? 🙄 or is this some kind of weird scatological fetish going on here?

BellePeppa · 21/03/2023 22:57

TheOrigRights · 21/03/2023 22:53

Having never ever lived anywhere with my own bathroom it's just something you get on with.
I will get my own when DS2 leaves home, but I'm not wishing his life away just so I can crap in peace.

Once you have your own though you never want to go back to sharing.

Lysianthus · 21/03/2023 23:00

Agree OP, and hotels with sliding doors on the bathroom which never has a window add to the anxiety.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 21/03/2023 23:00

Yep agree the more bathrooms the better, we have 3 and a downstairs loo absolutely love it just me and DH so we have our own spaces and any guests have theirs, very fortunate to have this set up, I really value my personal space and also now I work from home I never have to endure the abject horror of the works toilets, more so now than ever, as many are becoming mixed sex, the thought of my male colleagues taking a dump whilst I’m in the next cubicle would make me heave.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 21/03/2023 23:00

Have kids, that's all I can say 😂 childbirth and then little people trooping in with me, pooping has become a total spectator sport for me. Shame cannot survive this crucible!

LizzieSiddal · 21/03/2023 23:07

I get it OP! We have two bathrooms and since the Dc left home, dh and I now have one each. I absolutely love it, it stays clean, and the loo seat is always down!

Highdaysandholidays1 · 21/03/2023 23:11

I love using our bathroom (we have two) after the cleaners have been, they do a funny thing with the loo roll and fold the towels, it's all like a hotel, it makes me laugh. I don't hate sharing but if the opportunity comes to use your own bathroom, who would not love that?

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 21/03/2023 23:16

I love my DH but I alone use the en-suite. He has the main bathroom.
I no longer have to smell his poo, or look at the lumps of dried toothpaste in the sink, or swish away beard hairs………. It’s the future!!!!!

PrettyMaybug · 21/03/2023 23:25

scoobydoo1971 · 21/03/2023 21:41

I have four bathrooms. All contain the same new bathroom suites fitted at the same time. All rooms are roughly the same size, and on different floors of my house. Everyone...kids, their visiting Dad, other guests use my ensuite. It is warmer and nicer allegedly. I don't see it myself. However, the upside is less cleaning of other bathrooms! I spent a lot of money having new showers and toilets fitted in these various rooms, and it turned out to be with little merit. My point to you would be that even if you had the facilities, you might not get compliance in your space.

Only FOUR bathrooms? How do you cope? We have seven. Can't imagine only having four. A few posters on here only have THREE. Can't imagine how difficult that is. Sad

@extremeprivacypreferred YANBU, how inconvenient and dreadful, having to share a bathroom with your partner. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Flowers

Parroteets · 21/03/2023 23:25

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/03/2023 21:59

For most of the history of the human race we've been toileting outside in full view of anyone passing... This obsession with bathroom privacy is another bad side effect of modern life.

No, no, no. The word toileting is so many effing shades of wrong. 😡

For what it's worth I like having my own clean bathroom.

Teabeanie · 21/03/2023 23:43

I know what you mean. I was deathly afraid of pooping when DP was around when we first got together but now we gladly announce it to each other 😂and if you’re nervous about the smell I highly recommend incense. Specifically jasmine. Very strong and you only need to burn it for a few minutes and it covers the smell completely