I was seeing a guy for 5 months. All was going well. Everything smoothly. Little did I know... he had a long term partner twin daughters. The twin girls are three years old. He's been with his partner for 9 years.
The reason I wasn't aware of their existence was because the family were in a different country. He was initially meant to be here with our subsidiary company on a three month contract. But before that timeframe passed, he was offered a permanent contract, hence the family coming.
Before anyone says 'you must have known he had a partner' etc.... no. I didn't. We spent endless blocks of time together. Even spent weeks on end together. No sneakiness with the phone despite the time difference, no hiding the phone, no sudden 'work emergencies' etc... He stayed at my home over entire weekends! His social media consists of only 6 photos - latest being from 2018 and that was a phot of a sunset!
Needless to say, his partner did indeed find out, as she came over to surprise him one day - and with the girls too obviously. I wasn't there, but apparently she saw my skincare products in the bathroom as well as my clothes on the bedside table.
The crafty fucker kept none of our text messages (must have been deleting as he went), but didn't think to delete the call logs (which also shows that the calls were FaceTime calls instead of just regular calls) - and I got a call from an angry American (from his number) demanding me to tell her who I was.
I have spent recent days in a total haze and have been WFH (as we are allowed to from time to time).
Yesterday, he called me and begged me to go along with a made up story. No apology for me or anything - just purely wanting me to go along with a 'plan' as his relationship - as he put it - was dead in the water anyway. Like that was supposed to make it all ok. I did demand an explanation (which is how I know the above/about the twins/the plan for the family to move here etc...) but to be honest, when dealing with a liar, you can't even trust what they tell you to be the truth. A man that can lie to one woman, can easily lie to two.
I hung up after telling him I had no desire to go along with his story. His story, of course, didn't make me look good/innocent. Why would it? At the end of the day, he didn't call me to 'explain himself' (not that anything he said mattered since he lied about literally everything), he called me to ensure that I would maintain the same BS story he told her. He suddenly had all this morality and was talking to me about the importance of family for him etc...
The thing is, I still have all the proof. Alllllll the messages, photos, countless paragraphs of how he pursued me, told me he was single, etc...
Part of me wants to cut him out of my life and just forget the whole thing ever happened. I skipped part the sad breakup stage of a typical relationship because of my anger - and guilt - even though I was in the dark about his 'real life'!!
Another part of me doesn't want to hurt his partner further with all the proof. She probably wouldn't believe me anyway despite the proof being irrefutable. They have twins together and I feel awful for a potential break up of a marriage/family even though I wasn't aware of their existence until very recently!
Another part of me wants to expose him for who he really is. My messages would show the whole picture - and not the lies he fed her upon her finding out. But again, there's so so so much there that it would definitely end their family setup.
I must admit... I'm very angry at being seen as a 'home-wrecker' more than anything else - so I largely want to clear my name. My motives aren't entirely altruistic in that regard. I also stupidly expected an apology. Ridiculous, I know.
Also, how did he expect to keep this 'relationship' going once the entire family arrived?! I suppose he could have just gone MIA/broken it off. I guess it is a moot point now.
Sorry if this is rambling-y. I'm enraged about this entire situation. I actually think I'm beating myself up more than he is!
Should I leave it be - or pass all the evidence on? Is there any point? Am I just being a bitch if I do that? Who is it really serving at the end of the day?