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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not really a birthday party

47 replies

jgw1 · 21/03/2023 13:27

Am I being unreasonable to think that if my birthday party didn't have cake and no one sang Happy Birthday it is not really a party at all?

OP posts:
NoodleNuts · 21/03/2023 13:30

Well plenty of people have parties for big birthdays like 30/40/50 with no cake and no singing of happy birthday, it's still a party though?

Harriyet · 21/03/2023 13:31

You sound 5

Justcallmebebes · 21/03/2023 13:36

Depends. Did you have games and party bags at the end?

Original poster
jgw1 · 21/03/2023 13:40

Harriyet · 21/03/2023 13:31

You sound 5

56 actually. close though.

OP posts:
Original poster
jgw1 · 21/03/2023 13:42

NoodleNuts · 21/03/2023 13:30

Well plenty of people have parties for big birthdays like 30/40/50 with no cake and no singing of happy birthday, it's still a party though?

That is the question.

OP posts:
ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 21/03/2023 13:48

It depends on who was there

thaisweetchill · 21/03/2023 13:49

If you're under the age of 10, no

RobertsRadio · 21/03/2023 13:51

Well I'd be a bit upset at the lack of a birthday cake, but then I seriously love cake and any cake would do.

ODFOx · 21/03/2023 13:51

Was there a gathering of people to celebrate your birthday?
Did people wish you a happy birthday?
Was everyone aware that your birthday was the reason for the gathering?
If yes to these, then it was a party.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/03/2023 13:52

Boris, is that you?

MasterBeth · 21/03/2023 13:53

Did you drink alcohol? Have a special meal? Dress up? Send out invitations? Move furniture? Dance? Put everyone's coats on a bed upstairs? Find someone under the coats? Throw up after?

None of these are definitive signs of a party by themselves. But a combination of some or all of the above will give you some indication whether or not a party happened.

pinkthree · 21/03/2023 13:55

Having people sing happy birthday at a party to me is my worst nightmare

Definitely still a party if there was food, music, alcohol, friends, family etc

FurElsie · 21/03/2023 13:56

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/03/2023 13:52

Boris, is that you?

🤣🤣🤣👍

NoodleNuts · 21/03/2023 13:57

jgw1 · 21/03/2023 13:42

That is the question.

Show quote history

It's a party. To be honest when I was 50, I would have cringed massively if my friends stopped dancing/drinking so that they could all sing happy birthday to me. And my cake was had at home, earlier in the day, not at my party.

Original poster
jgw1 · 21/03/2023 13:58

ODFOx · 21/03/2023 13:51

Was there a gathering of people to celebrate your birthday?
Did people wish you a happy birthday?
Was everyone aware that your birthday was the reason for the gathering?
If yes to these, then it was a party.

Even without cake and singing?

OP posts:
HilaryBriss · 21/03/2023 14:00

Why do people do this?

If you are talking about Boris Johnson then just bloody say so rather than being cryptic and getting answers from peoplpe genuinely trying to help.

FettleOfKish · 21/03/2023 14:01

I don't like cake, so we didn't even have one at our wedding, never mind at a birthday party. Without the presentation of a cake I don't know what would be the appropriate time to sing.

Thinking back to the adult birthday parties I've been to over the past few years, can't ever recall any singing of Happy Birthday actually. Cake has been present at some but not all. Friends, family, chat, laughter, drinks, food, fun, definitely in evidence every time.

So I'd say on balance, if you're over the age of 9, then yes it was likely still a birthday party even without cake and singing.

Bigpinktrain · 21/03/2023 14:01

Cake and singing doesn’t make an adults birthday party, friends coming together to celebrate does.

GiltEdges · 21/03/2023 14:03

party1
/ˈpɑːti/
noun
1 a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment.

Yes, it was a party.

PeekAtYou · 21/03/2023 14:04

As long as it's not intentional and in good faith.

Harriyet · 21/03/2023 14:07

Boris was 56 at the time so yes its a boring post about Boris 💤💤💤💤💤

Clavinova · 21/03/2023 14:14

ODFOx
Was everyone aware that your birthday was the reason for the gathering?
If yes to these, then it was a party

The answer to that question is quite clearly 'no' as some people attending did not receive a fine.

Boris wasn't informed in advance of the gathering either.

RiktheButler · 21/03/2023 14:17

If this is a genuine post - you're being childish. If it's a veiled political post - you're being childish

Original poster
jgw1 · 21/03/2023 14:35

GiltEdges · 21/03/2023 14:03

party1
/ˈpɑːti/
noun
1 a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment.

Yes, it was a party.

Thank you, very helpful.

OP posts:
Clavinova · 21/03/2023 14:42

GiltEdges

What was the entertainment?

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