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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 21/03/2023 13:49

Silverperch · 21/03/2023 13:46

You're not a snowflake for having a man in your house, working for a company, then contacting you afterwards for non-work related reasons.

You don't know him. He was in your house and knows where you live.

He's now contacting you repeatedly using contact details he gained through work, which you trusted him to handle appropriately.

There are a lot of bored, sad, underexercised weirdos on AIBU who spend all day on here berating women, but it's still worth coming on here if you filter them out - no, OP, you are not the weirdo in this situation.

Really odd and disturbing.

I agree. It's a bizarre thread. Shows Mumsnet at its absolute worst.

LittleBrenda · 21/03/2023 13:49

we’ve had follow-up calls from engineers if we’ve had work done to ensure we’ve had no further issues, it’s part of their after care policy.

Clearly it's not part of British Gas's aftercare policy as the OP has already rung them and they told her it wasn't.

CustardySergeant · 21/03/2023 13:50

I wonder what is behind the fact that he didn't record his attendance at the OP's house. OP, please let us know what British Gas say when you call them back about this situation. I'm sorry you have had so many nasty/irrelevant comments from people who haven't read all your posts.

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:50

But I would hope you would call once and leave a voicemail, not calling four times and send call me texts...

QuillBill · 21/03/2023 13:50

Him hanging up on your husband may be because you sent him a message previously to say you weren’t returning his call and the work has been completed and maybe he was then confused as to why the call was being returned after you had sent the message.

This makes no sense at all. Talk about clutching at straws.

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:51

rwalker · 21/03/2023 13:30

I work for one of the utilities tbh I’ve called weeks later when I’ve lost some tools and back tracking where I’ve been

But I would hope you would call once and leave a voicemail, not calling four times and send call me texts...

rwalker · 21/03/2023 13:54

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:51

But I would hope you would call once and leave a voicemail, not calling four times and send call me texts...

Show quote history

Tbh I’ve called a few times people ignore you and facing a verbal warning for losing a tester worth the best part of £1000

there was an extremely easy way to find out if it was inappropriate or not

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:56

Seriously this thread is unbelievable. People seem to be spoiling for a fight.

@PandaEyed13 you are getting some really peculiar responses. Ignore them. I think it's very obvious he was trying in engage in some kind of non work related chat with you, blindly obvious when he hung up on DH. Some people have no shame. I would definitely report to British Gas. I would be really worried about him contacting someone vulnerable, it's totally unprofessional to abuse his access to your personal info like this. And pretty scary.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 21/03/2023 13:56

This is one of those threads makes me shake my head at how much MN has changed for the worse since I joined in the mid-2000s.

So much mockery and dismissiveness over clearly inappropriate boundary-pushing from a man the OP doesn't even know, and who knows where she lives.

Some of you should be ashamed. Hate to think what kind of dangerously minimising attitudes you're passing on to your children.

CanofCant · 21/03/2023 13:56

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 13:17

"OP thinks he's obsessed with her!"
"Clearly OP thinks she's irresistible!"
"You and your husband are idiots."
"Sounds like OP is enjoying it!"

Some truly judgemental and problematic comments on this thread. Those assumptions about me couldn't be any further from the truth, I can promise you that.
My main line of thinking before I started this thread was it's not fair! Even if it was all innocent as to why he's calling me - he still shouldn't be, I dont want him to! Even if he left a tool or liked my patio furniture or wanted the number of my gardener, it's not fair! Even if he did like me and just thought he'd try a little reach out and politely move on if rebuffed, it isn't fair! He's a stranger calling me on a Saturday, Sunday, Monday, a text "hey call me", I reply saying no thanks, then another call - he's a stranger who surely, SURELY knows he's not allowed to contact me and must know that I wouldn't want him to?!
You sit there in doubt like, "wait..was I flirty," "Am I being weird, is this inappropriate?" "Am I overreacting, is it ok to call me actually?" You make it your own fault and doubt yourself. I admit, I have had this sort of thing before. Every woman I know has, even in a tiny way. I bet half of all of you have too and 'just put up and shut up.' I always do that too, ALWAYS, but this time felt different because the person was in my home and thats where they first encountered me. That's all.
Then you come on here, because it's a community of women and read those kinds of comments from OTHER WOMEN! 'Yeah, you're an idiot, you fancy yourself, it IS you, it's not weird and you're the problem.' Yes, I'm courting unwanted and uninvited contact, I'm loving it. Yeah I should have just called him myself, that wouldn't have looked encouraging in any way if he did happen to be a nutjob would it! I'm also head over heels in love with myself and completely overreacting in feeling uncomfortable and unsure about someone obtaining my number and calling it after job done. He's literally called 2 more times as I'm writing this comment, after hanging up on my husband and after reporting him. I've blocked his number. I'm going to call British Gas back as well.
Thank you v.much to every comment, I do appreciate the time taken to respond to me. I hope none of the people who made the cruel and scathing comments are mothers of daughters.
Yes it's ended up the engineer guy is a problem and it doesn't seem all innocent, but Jesus, not as much of a problem as remaining on this toxic cesspit of a forum would be!

YANBU at all. Some of these ridiculous excuses being made are unbelievable. He might have wanted to ask where your kettle was from?! Fuck me some people are incredibly naive or just like sticking the boot in. I don't think you were unreasonable to start a thread about it either.

TheNine · 21/03/2023 13:57

He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him.

I would have told him to fuck off at that point!

JudgeRudy · 21/03/2023 13:57

ghostyslovesheets · 21/03/2023 11:36

why not just call/text and ask him what he wants - he may just want to check it's all fixed, ask you to fill in feedback to BG on his work.

He may also be a creepy pest - in which case report him

I'd not jump to conclusions based on one innocuous text message

I'm with Ghostly on this one. He could be ringing for any number of reasons. You've sent your message now but my response would have been 'Hi, what do you want/How can I help?'etc
I've been called on my mobile before by a variety of 'tradies'. I had a VM engineer who I felt I almost knew we talked so often....about Internet and TV and VM appointments.
Often there's miscommunication with big companies and I've had people turn up to do a job that's been done. Maybe as he didn't complete the job he wanted to check it was sorted. Maybe you came across as an anxious/vulnerable person.....or maybe he wanted an elicit affair and to bang your brains out....
I also think it's odd to stress he's called you several times...yes he has....because you wouldn't answer! So he's correctly assumed you won't answer unrecognised numbers, so texted you to say who he is so you will respond. You've texted back telling him the job's complete and had no more replies. I'd say just leave it there.
As for your husband....no need for him to get involved. If he must get him to call number from your phone.

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:58

rwalker · 21/03/2023 13:54

Tbh I’ve called a few times people ignore you and facing a verbal warning for losing a tester worth the best part of £1000

there was an extremely easy way to find out if it was inappropriate or not

Show quote history

I don't understand a word of that.

The OP DH called back and he hung up. If you didn't realise his intent before that, then you will after that surely.

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:59

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 21/03/2023 13:56

This is one of those threads makes me shake my head at how much MN has changed for the worse since I joined in the mid-2000s.

So much mockery and dismissiveness over clearly inappropriate boundary-pushing from a man the OP doesn't even know, and who knows where she lives.

Some of you should be ashamed. Hate to think what kind of dangerously minimising attitudes you're passing on to your children.

Agree!!

JudgeRudy · 21/03/2023 14:01

Juicylucy1800 · 21/03/2023 13:59

Agree!!

Show quote history

I'm not ashamed. We're entitled to a difference of opinion. Surely AIBU is asking just that...

diddl · 21/03/2023 14:03

Throwncrumbs · 21/03/2023 12:36

Weird? I had a new boiler fitted by BG and they messaged me to score the experience with it, one of the questions was ‘ has the engineer called to see if everything has been ok since he left’ I said he hasn’t, but maybe because I’m an oldie!

Or maybe because they're not supposed to?

Coffeeandcake15 · 21/03/2023 14:08

TheNine · 21/03/2023 13:57

He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him.

I would have told him to fuck off at that point!

Really?
When we had work done, the engineer called my DH to go through something with him. The fact he’s done this doesn’t indicate he’s hoping to win OP over.
It is really bizarre that an adult doesn’t just return the call to find out why he actually called, instead of telling their Mum, DH and making a post on MN.

ArdeteiMasazxu · 21/03/2023 14:08

Quite right to report it. He's definitely being a creep and if he's doing it to you he's doig it to dozens of other women, some of whom might be more vulnerable and less worldly-wise and might get taken in and end up seriously hurt, so its right to report.

Original poster
PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 14:10

@CustardySergeant I rang this morning actually about something else, as British Gas owe us compensation for failing to do the work over so many visits, and I spoke to a lovely South African lady called Monica. I mentioned this situation when she got to the "is there anything else I can help you with today" part, so I mentioned this engineer. She sounded, not alarmed, but surprised! She said it's not usual practice for engineers to make follow ups and did I want to make a report. At that time, this morning, I said not now.

I rang again an hour ago because he hung up on my husband who tried to call him with a "customer politely returning a call" approach and then tried to call me again! This time with BG I spoke to a man called Akash (I always get names, dates and ref numbers) and reiterated the problem. He said again, no they don't make follow ups and asked me to confirm the date and time of his attendance at my address. I had the exact date and time, gave it to very nice Akash, he checked and said there's no record of him visiting, at all, not on that day or ever! I said well he did because he left a gas safety check sticker on my gas meter with his name and date of attendance on it, plus I know his name, I have a text from him "hey call me" as physical proof and, oh yes - he's calling me! They've opened a case for complaint and are investigating, they've advised I block him in the meantime and myself or my husband should make no attempts to contact him ourselves, and gave me a case number. They said I'd hear from them again once they'd investigated his side of the story.

Once I was finished with that call I went and relaid the whole thing again over a live chat, so I could screenshot the conversation and my complaint and get a paper trail.

I truly hope it's innocent, and if it is, I have zero intention of getting anybody into any trouble. I can accept a person making a mistake and moving on. But I don't feel right with any of it, it all feels too much personal contact and to just me, as he hung up on DH

OP posts:
mrswhiplington · 21/03/2023 14:11

diddl · 21/03/2023 14:03

Or maybe because they're not supposed to?

Show quote history

Yes, they are supposed to. I had the same message from BG. Before our engineer left he said he would call us the following day to check it was ok. He didn't call. I told them that.

Tellyaddict123 · 21/03/2023 14:16

I agree with other PP, sounds like a massive drama from inconclusive information. Do you always jump to men are trying to hit on you?

Just message him back asking what it’s about / if there an issue with the work.

If he’s inappropriate then you can kick up a fuss

Lesvacances · 21/03/2023 14:19

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 14:10

@CustardySergeant I rang this morning actually about something else, as British Gas owe us compensation for failing to do the work over so many visits, and I spoke to a lovely South African lady called Monica. I mentioned this situation when she got to the "is there anything else I can help you with today" part, so I mentioned this engineer. She sounded, not alarmed, but surprised! She said it's not usual practice for engineers to make follow ups and did I want to make a report. At that time, this morning, I said not now.

I rang again an hour ago because he hung up on my husband who tried to call him with a "customer politely returning a call" approach and then tried to call me again! This time with BG I spoke to a man called Akash (I always get names, dates and ref numbers) and reiterated the problem. He said again, no they don't make follow ups and asked me to confirm the date and time of his attendance at my address. I had the exact date and time, gave it to very nice Akash, he checked and said there's no record of him visiting, at all, not on that day or ever! I said well he did because he left a gas safety check sticker on my gas meter with his name and date of attendance on it, plus I know his name, I have a text from him "hey call me" as physical proof and, oh yes - he's calling me! They've opened a case for complaint and are investigating, they've advised I block him in the meantime and myself or my husband should make no attempts to contact him ourselves, and gave me a case number. They said I'd hear from them again once they'd investigated his side of the story.

Once I was finished with that call I went and relaid the whole thing again over a live chat, so I could screenshot the conversation and my complaint and get a paper trail.

I truly hope it's innocent, and if it is, I have zero intention of getting anybody into any trouble. I can accept a person making a mistake and moving on. But I don't feel right with any of it, it all feels too much personal contact and to just me, as he hung up on DH

Well I agree that’s rather strange.
Hope you’re ok. I think somewhere in your gut you already knew he was a bit off and that’s why when you got missed calls you were concerned.

Hanging up on your dh confirms it. A normal guy would have said thanks for returning my call. I was trying to locate x tool or my van got bumped wonder if you noticed anything or even I forgot to log my attendance.

Notjustabrunette · 21/03/2023 14:19

I’m amazed at the number of people who are freaked out by people phoning them and ringing their doorbell. These are common, not weird things. If someone phoned me, if it’s a cold call I tell them I’m busy and hang up. But at least I know it’s not actually someone trying to contact me about something important. I would just call him and find out what he wants. If it’s a bit weird block him and report him.

Lacey247 · 21/03/2023 14:22

Why didn’t you just call him back and see what the issue was?? Would’ve saved you writing this entire thread/speaking with both your mum and husband. You must have a lot of free time

Silverperch · 21/03/2023 14:24

Eww it's like a whole bunch of slightly sweaty MRA's have been alerted to this thread and are trying to apply some very basic gaslighting tactics onto the OP.

Glad that British Gas is taking it seriously OP.

It's creepy AF.