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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
Cruis · 21/03/2023 13:08

Massive overreaction on your part, he probably left a tool or in the loft or outside maybe, it happens🤦‍♀️ maybe it’s someone who actually cares about the job he does and was phoning to see if all fine now. This does happen if it’s someone who vunerable. Goodness knows but your reaction just Bonkers. Why don’t you actually speak to him an ask why he phoning?

MasterBeth · 21/03/2023 13:08

If he'd left his screwdriver behind, wouldn't he send a message saying "Sorry - did I leave my screwdriver behind?"

I think you are right to be suspicious of his motives and to report him. He can give his reasonable explanation to his boss.

Moveoverdarlin · 21/03/2023 13:08

You sound like you’re loving this OP. Told your Mum, your husband is chomping at the bit, been on the phone to British Gas whizzing up all this drama that hasn’t even happened yet. Jeez it’s so embarrassing! It’s 2023, men are allowed to ring married women. He may be checking the work, he may have lost a tool and may be wondering if he left it at your property. If you had rang him back and he asked you out or said anything inappropriate THEN complain.

WindUpPenguin · 21/03/2023 13:10

My initial thought would be he had lost something and wants to see if he left it at yours. Either that, or he knows that something happened when one of the subsequent engineers was there (something stolen?) and wants to let you know.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 21/03/2023 13:13

I'm going to assume anyone who's still saying yabu hasn't read all your posts on this thread OP. He didn't log that he'd been at OPs house according to the helpline and hung up when he realised it was her DH calling and not her. If he'd left something at her house he would have just said that.

Sounds like a creep to me and you're right to report him.

MetalFences · 21/03/2023 13:15

Somethingneedstochange78 · 21/03/2023 13:03

Just call him not everyone likes leaving a voice message. I had this in our old rental property. All it was the Ariel men had accidentally left a couple of tools.

Should she go back in time to before her husband rang him? 🚀

Motnight · 21/03/2023 13:17

Well done, Op. Hopefully you making a report will stop this guy from pestering other women

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 13:17

"OP thinks he's obsessed with her!"
"Clearly OP thinks she's irresistible!"
"You and your husband are idiots."
"Sounds like OP is enjoying it!"

Some truly judgemental and problematic comments on this thread. Those assumptions about me couldn't be any further from the truth, I can promise you that.
My main line of thinking before I started this thread was it's not fair! Even if it was all innocent as to why he's calling me - he still shouldn't be, I dont want him to! Even if he left a tool or liked my patio furniture or wanted the number of my gardener, it's not fair! Even if he did like me and just thought he'd try a little reach out and politely move on if rebuffed, it isn't fair! He's a stranger calling me on a Saturday, Sunday, Monday, a text "hey call me", I reply saying no thanks, then another call - he's a stranger who surely, SURELY knows he's not allowed to contact me and must know that I wouldn't want him to?!
You sit there in doubt like, "wait..was I flirty," "Am I being weird, is this inappropriate?" "Am I overreacting, is it ok to call me actually?" You make it your own fault and doubt yourself. I admit, I have had this sort of thing before. Every woman I know has, even in a tiny way. I bet half of all of you have too and 'just put up and shut up.' I always do that too, ALWAYS, but this time felt different because the person was in my home and thats where they first encountered me. That's all.
Then you come on here, because it's a community of women and read those kinds of comments from OTHER WOMEN! 'Yeah, you're an idiot, you fancy yourself, it IS you, it's not weird and you're the problem.' Yes, I'm courting unwanted and uninvited contact, I'm loving it. Yeah I should have just called him myself, that wouldn't have looked encouraging in any way if he did happen to be a nutjob would it! I'm also head over heels in love with myself and completely overreacting in feeling uncomfortable and unsure about someone obtaining my number and calling it after job done. He's literally called 2 more times as I'm writing this comment, after hanging up on my husband and after reporting him. I've blocked his number. I'm going to call British Gas back as well.
Thank you v.much to every comment, I do appreciate the time taken to respond to me. I hope none of the people who made the cruel and scathing comments are mothers of daughters.
Yes it's ended up the engineer guy is a problem and it doesn't seem all innocent, but Jesus, not as much of a problem as remaining on this toxic cesspit of a forum would be!

OP posts:
Bluebellsarebest · 21/03/2023 13:18

Corah5 · 21/03/2023 12:22

People are permanently offended nowadays. Whining “you’re not allowed to do that” and causing a huge fuss for nothing. Maybe he has a legitimate reason for contacting you. Or maybe he just found you attractive, and if you’re not interested you just block and move on. Snowflakes complaining about GDPR really get on my nerves.

I agree!

NeedToChangeName · 21/03/2023 13:26

Crumpleton · 21/03/2023 11:52

Give them a call or send a message.
Maybe they saw an item in your house/garden and would like to know where you got it from.

If it turns out to be unprofessional then I'm sorry they really do need reporting.

@Crumpleton A polite comment during his visit "I've been looking to buy a table just like that, wonder if you remember where you bought it?" might be slightly personal / inappropriate, but I doubt anyone would object

But he shouldn't be contacting people after his visit

Margot78 · 21/03/2023 13:27

Catspyjamas17 · 21/03/2023 12:44

And you get the "Helping sexual predators to get away with it" award.

Yes this.

Kerrysgotabicycle · 21/03/2023 13:29

I'm really sorry you got some dreadful responses op. YANBU at all.

Emotionalsupportviper · 21/03/2023 13:29

If he thought he'd left something behind, he needed to say so in the text.

This. He could just ask outright - none of this cloak-and-dagger "call me" stuff.

rwalker · 21/03/2023 13:30

I work for one of the utilities tbh I’ve called weeks later when I’ve lost some tools and back tracking where I’ve been

QuillBill · 21/03/2023 13:35

Well said @PandaEyed13 . These responses are bloody ridiculous. Who gives a fuck if he 'saw an item in your house or garden he liked'. Confused

ElsieMc · 21/03/2023 13:35

We had an awful time with BT, they were so disorganised. It actually took them three weeks to find a fault when our internet went down. It was a problem at the nearby substation fgs. They either did not turn up or it was the "wrong" engineer. I complained when it was eventually sorted out. I got a phone call from a BT engineer demanding to know why I had complained about him and it got pretty nasty. So no, he should not be ringing you.

FWIW, I get E-On ringing me on our ex directory landline demanding I get a smart meter and then demanding to know why I don't want one. Intrusive and annoying.

Redebs · 21/03/2023 13:37

He probably lost something and wants to see if he left it at your house.
Call him.
If there's anything inappropriate, then report him immediately for the sake of any future customer he might be weird with.

ThereIbledit · 21/03/2023 13:37

Could it not have been his work mobile? And therefore not a GDPR breach if he is calling you for a work-related subject. <misses the point>

I'm curious as to how you've decided that it has turned out that the engineer is a problem - has there been more updates? Have you spoken to him, has he said what he was wanting you to call him for?

Redebs · 21/03/2023 13:38

Oops, just rtft. Totally creepy. Glad you've reported him.
Sorry you got nasty replies on here x

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 13:39

He is a creep. Ignore his texts and report him to British Gas telling them to deal with it and never to send him round again.

Everyone knows not to do this whether they are from British Gas; Thames Water; Sky the Metropolitan Police etc. And yet you still get people on Mumsnet saying: "Give the guy a break. He's just being nice."

Coffeeandcake15 · 21/03/2023 13:44

Honestly it’s a lot of drama, I would have answered his call, we’ve had follow-up calls from engineers if we’ve had work done to ensure we’ve had no further issues, it’s part of their after care policy. If he made an inappropriate remark then I would have reported him but as yet, there’s no evidence of this. Him hanging up on your husband may be because you sent him a message previously to say you weren’t returning his call and the work has been completed and maybe he was then confused as to why the call was being returned after you had sent the message.

alwaysawaster · 21/03/2023 13:45

Oh for fucks sake.

It's very simple to text "Hi this is Dave from BG, wonder if I left my spanner at your house when I was there on [date] and if so when is it convenient for you for me to pop around and get it, thanks"

He hung up on her DH when her DH returned the call.

If he was legit, he'd have explained the missing tool/table he liked. Hanging up tells us that her gut feeling that something was odd was spot on.

Good Shark Cage OP!

People bending over backwards to justify, excuse or explain a man who abused his work policies and procedures to contact an ex-customer, repeatedly and without giving any reason.

Silverperch · 21/03/2023 13:46

You're not a snowflake for having a man in your house, working for a company, then contacting you afterwards for non-work related reasons.

You don't know him. He was in your house and knows where you live.

He's now contacting you repeatedly using contact details he gained through work, which you trusted him to handle appropriately.

There are a lot of bored, sad, underexercised weirdos on AIBU who spend all day on here berating women, but it's still worth coming on here if you filter them out - no, OP, you are not the weirdo in this situation.

Really odd and disturbing.

purplecorkheart · 21/03/2023 13:46

I would text back from DH phone pretending to be DH just in case there is an issue he is advising you about. I suggest this only because I had a engineer from a company contact me after a visit to tell me that it would be much cheaper for me to buy a battery myself than through his company (he had handed in his notice). If it is not something like that it might get him off your back

Silverperch · 21/03/2023 13:48

And for all those telling her not to trust her instincts: google "bradley edwards claremont serial killer" and find out just how much a man in a company uniform can get away with before anyone dares listen to the silly, oversensitive woman he's in a room with. Red flags all over this.

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