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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn’t really fair

46 replies

Jiie97 · 20/03/2023 23:37

Maybe I am being unreasonable but wanted to get opinions.

A family member of mine recently rehomed a puppy. They are at work during the day, 8am-4pm Monday and Tuesday and then home about 1pm on the other days. I’m currently not working so they are expecting me to come and puppy sit whilst they’re at work. I’m finding it difficult, he’s a lovely dog but very bouncy and none stop and is a big breed (it’s 4 months old but quite big already) all the usual puppy traits, walking him, playing with him, trying to get him out to toilet.

I feel as though the responsibility has been passed to me when it’s not my dog. I told them how I felt and they said I was being ridiculous and didn’t have to help and that he can just stay in his crate all day whilst they’re at work and that he will get used to it but I really don’t think that’s fair on the dog. Aibu?

OP posts:
PotKettel · 20/03/2023 23:38

Yanbu. Poor puppy

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 23:39

Completely wrong of them to leave a dog all day long in a crate

Kay286 · 20/03/2023 23:41

Awwww yanbu crating a puppy all day would be awful for it ?! Why did they get it if not able to look after it !
did you offer to help or got roped into it ?

Original poster
Jiie97 · 20/03/2023 23:42

That’s what I thought and I don’t like to think of him being left in the crate so I go up to look after him whilst they’re at work but I feel this responsibility has been passed to me and they think I’m wrong for saying this

OP posts:
WhiteFire · 20/03/2023 23:42

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 23:39

Completely wrong of them to leave a dog all day long in a crate

Completely wrong of them to get a dog and expect the OP to look after it.

slowsundays · 20/03/2023 23:43

YANBU. Cheeky fuckers and that poor puppy.

Original poster
Jiie97 · 20/03/2023 23:46

I feel as though I was roped into it but they think it will benefit me whilst I’m not working. I just feel as though they expect me to do it though but they are defensive about that. Today I looked after him 9am till 3:30pm and was told ‘you don’t have to be here, he could have just stayed in his crate’ but I can’t let that happen

OP posts:
Original poster
Jiie97 · 20/03/2023 23:48

Also, when they got home they were in a mood saying they have still got things to sort from work and went upstairs, didn’t really interact with the puppy. Got annoyed when it jumped him and licked their face

OP posts:
Forgottenmypasswordagain · 20/03/2023 23:53

I would not do it but stealing the dog would cross my mind.

slowsundays · 20/03/2023 23:55

Agree with PP about stealing the dog.

Bogeyes · 21/03/2023 00:01

You will be expected to look after it when they go on holiday....dont be a mug. They are using you.

SpudsandGravy · 21/03/2023 00:04

Poor dog 😥

GingerBoot · 21/03/2023 00:33

I'm a little confused OP. Although I do agree that a puppy should not be left in a crate all day and people shouldn't buy pets if they don't have the time or inclination to look after them properly, each of your posts say something different. One minute you're saying you're 'expected' to go look after it, or you've been 'roped into' looking after it but in others you're saying they are telling you that's not what they're expecting and its just that you feel responsible.
If there were no discussions or agreement in place that you were willing, able and happy to do this prior to the decision to get the dog, then no matter how guilty or responsible you feel, simply stop doing it. Rightly or wrongly, the puppy will get used to it. As long as its safely in a crate, has been left food and water, it will be fine. Its not like they're out all day every day. Many people have to leave they're dogs home alone for a period of time on a regular basis.

ConcordeOoter · 21/03/2023 00:39

This sounds like the other end of someone trying to get an unemployed person becoming reclusive, to engage a bit.

@OP are you someone who typically does not leave their room/house a lot for weeks at a time?

FictionalCharacter · 21/03/2023 00:54

Jiie97 · 20/03/2023 23:48

Also, when they got home they were in a mood saying they have still got things to sort from work and went upstairs, didn’t really interact with the puppy. Got annoyed when it jumped him and licked their face

These people shouldn’t own a dog. They have no intention of looking after it properly.

Original poster
Jiie97 · 21/03/2023 01:14

I know it seems a bit confusing. I do feel roped into it as I can tell they expect me to be around and look after him. They are only saying now that he can stay in his cage because I’ve brought it up.

It just feels as though he’s my responsibility now as even when his owner got home after work, they just went upstairs. They then came back downstairs and I could hear the puppy tipping his water bowl over and his owner didn’t get up so it was me who filled the water bowl up. He was then chewing on something he shouldn’t have been and it was down to me to tell him no and give him a toy to chew on instead. His owner was just sat on sofa on their phone, it just feels they have no intention to look after the puppy and train him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jiie97 · 21/03/2023 01:17

I should add we don’t live in the same household

OP posts:
OrderOfTheKookaburra · 21/03/2023 02:05

You need to toughen up and just say no. I suspect they thought you would do whatever they wanted you to do because you always have in the past.

Is the family member one of your DC? I can't imagine feeling so responsible for anyone else's actions.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 21/03/2023 02:21

while you are doing everything for them they will do nothing. Personally I would stop doing it all and tell them in no uncertain terms what horrible cruel pet owners they are.

Murdoch1949 · 21/03/2023 02:37

Maximum you should do for this pathetic man, is to midday go and take the puppy for a walk. Maximum. Then back in cage. It's not your dog. Poor dog.

Gamezup · 21/03/2023 03:04

They are not fit to own a dog! If it was left in its cage all day what about when it needed to pee/poop? And being a puppy it needs stimulation and exercise otherwise there are major behavioural problems ahead. Poor thing needs to be rehomed for its own sake.

SparklingLime · 21/03/2023 03:53

Do you know where they rehomed it from?

WandaWonder · 21/03/2023 04:00

Before anyone does the predictable 'read the thread' I have and I am still lost in why on earth you feel responsible

Who are all these people?

blebbleb · 21/03/2023 04:07

YANBU. I'm sure you feel bad for the puppy but I would put a stop to it right now. Cheeky sods need to pay for day care.

typopro · 21/03/2023 07:55

Obviously no one here knows your personal circumstances but can't you get a job? Then this definitely won't be your problem

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