To think a lot of OPs seem to cry at the drop of a hat in life?

[OldFan]

I mean, I know we can't believe all we read on here, and some of them could be completely made up threads and the person claiming they're crying to add to the drama factor.

But a lot of them seem really grizzly, don't they? (I don't mean any one thread.)

I think I cried once in the last few years or something- the other week when my block was flooded and everyone was evacuated. I was storing my best friend's stuff, some of it books that are worth thousands, and thought they might be damaged/devalued. Thankfully all was ok in the end.

Going through peri menopause has turned my emotional response to its highest setting and all sorts of things bring tears to my eyes (sad, happy, frustrated, angry etc), although I rarely cry properly, and haven’t been able to since my Mum died 11 years ago.

I'm really resilient but also cry easily, but mostly through frustration rather than upset

A stupid one but the house alarm started going off and said low battery, lived here 16 years and didn't know the thing had a bloody battery. It was 5am and was shocked from waking up by it, couldn't switch it off, didn't know where the battery was and ended up crying. I was frustrated, and also the noise was really bothering me and worrying about upsetting the neighbours

I have barely cried since DH died a year ago, I don't think it is necessarily a healthy way to be to be honest. There are times when I wish I could cry more not less.

Of course you have. And why wouldn’t you? I’ve become emotionally incontinent since my mum died and it’s a long time ago now. It must still be so raw for you. 💐

I struggle with people who claim to be sobbing for hours on end. The last time I properly cried was after my mother's funeral, and even at my lowest it was intermittent rather than constant sobbing.

I cry quite a lot. I was never allowed to cry as a child.

Personally, I find it quite odd that people think not having cried in a long time is an achievement in some way - it’s not.

Obviously, sometimes people cry over ridiculous things but that’s usually an indicator of other stressors in their life - I remember after my cancer diagnosis, about a week later, I grabbed a jar of mayonnaise by the lid and it fell and smashed. I burst into tears. When I was pregnant and had awful hyperemesis, I was trying to cook in my DM’s very stupid smart kitchen and couldn’t get the oven to get hot even though it was on - caused a lot of tears. I also cried over the Constance Marten case when they found the baby’s remains - I have my reasons why I felt very personally affected by it.

Crying isn’t a personality flaw.

I cry. A lot. I don't know why. I can't help it. If I stop it....then it kinda builds.... And I feel low for days, then I cry and feel much better.

I don't do it publicly. As in at work/or in front of anyone other than DH.

I don't "cry" at t.v. but like...a tear will escape/my eyes water at sad scenes in TV shows, or emotional scenes that are happy, when I'm invested in the characters.

I nearly cried today out of frustration at the dick that is my boss' boss. But I didn't. And knew it wasn't an appropriate or reasonable reaction.

I cried at Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway at the weekend 😂

In my defence, I was very tired…

I don't like the idea that crying is a weakness. I do cry a lot though. Im autistic and a meltdown for me is crying and pacing, crying and crouching, crying and flapping, crying and lying down. I think I am emotionally underdeveloped as well and I have a heightened sense of empathy which means I cry at anything at all emotional. I hid it and masked so hard for many years, even in my own home because people made me feel it showed me as weak. Can we all stop that?

I cry weekly not counting or being specific but I have always loved a good cry. I don’t for one second consider it a weakness or a pathetic action, so yabu to use that as a demonstration of posters that you disapprove of.

but then again there are posters that have made me say to myself are you actually for real? I won’t be specific because everyone has a thing that would offend them or not, I just choose to shrug and move along. And take regular (weeks+) breaks from mn to wash off the toxicities of the place.

I cry all the time, totally wish I didn't. Not in anyway done for effect and really wish I could control my emotions. Have spent years wondering if there's a reason for it.

Some of the most moving narratives I’ve read on here, or at work, were written very matter-of-factly and without any editorialising about the writer’s emotions.

The occasional OP can seem to crave sympathy (understandable human behaviour) and practical support isn’t always as pressing (if desired at all, obviously sometimes not suitable, like with handholds, which are not the OPs I mean here or below).

Funny thing is, if by disclosing that they’re weeping, what OPs really want (whether consciously or not) is to create the according emotional response in their audience, and get them on their side (in AIBU for example) counter-intuitively, it’d probably be more successful to omit the tears.

In fiction, if you want to make a reader cry, you do it by showing your character/narrator NOT cry in circumstances where you’d 100% expect them to. Same in film. Think of how many heartbreaking scenes are made more so by stoicism. If the character cries, the tension is broken, and it’s the tension that makes US cry.

Obviously most MN posts aren’t fiction or necessarily written for effect, but the psychology of the sympathy blub is real😜

I'm not sure not crying is a more positive way to be either. Interesting that op cried as she thought expensive books were potentially ruined.

@Doingmybest12 Because they weren't mine, they are my best friend's, and I know they're important to him. And their worth thousands of pounds. Maybe it'd be more sad because he's on dialysis, he could die at any time. So I try to make his life as ok as I can.

I'm not saying people should bottle up their emotions or anything like that.

But people seem to have no desire to have strength of character these days.

I'm not the most emotionally resilient person but I'd like to try to be, as much as possible.

If life presented me with challenging times, I'd try to rise to the challenge and suck it up and rise to that challenge (while getting help if I needed to of course.)

@Doingmybest12 He doesn't have much money as he has kidney failure and has been unable to work for decades. So they're one of the few things that are worth money that he owns. They weren't worth money when he brought them but they happen to be now, because he's kept them and taken care of them.

I must admit i cry very easily for many different reasons. I did actually cry so badly watching Corrie on Weds night that my eyes were pink the next morning 🥺 but i bet i wasn't the only one!

I cried on Monday at work. I cried buckets. I am neither ashamed, nor proud of having cried. All my emotion about that is reserved for the hideous cruelty I saw that a so called human being was capable of. I think we all cried at work that day.

I get upset and frustrated at times but I really only cry from sadness / grief. Crying all day or crying and shaking seems to happen pretty often on MN!

Don’t forget shaking - if you’re not shaking you’re not outraged enough. Normally at something incredibly insignificant.

I do remember sobbing my heart out many years (decades!) ago when Bobby died in Dallas 😆

I think I would feel better if I could cry more. It feels like it would be a nice release. Sometimes I feel like I am crying on the inside but nothing comes out. I dreamt last night that I was crying, really sobbing and getting it all out. Crying is a good way of processing hurt, I think it stops the feeling turning into anger or rage.

@Bettyboop3 Aww. I don't watch Corrie but I think it's different if it's just from watching a programme/reading etc. That's just you engaging with and 'enjoying' what you're watching. Personally I don't like most of that sort of content, but there's nothing wrong with liking to watch emotive/immersive stuff, and reacting to it.

@MysweetAudrina xx

Do you put more value on material goods than relationships? Just asking because of what you said about expensive books.

I cried yesterday as I’m poorly and exhausted, I cried a few days ago because I’m anxious about my Dad’s upcoming surgery for cancer. Does this mean I’m weak? I don’t necessarily think so, and I don’t think it’s healthy to stifle emotions.

Don’t forget shaking - if you’re not shaking you’re not outraged enough. Normally at something incredibly insignificant.

Maybe we have to be virtually suicidal as well.

The problem is people can get competitive about these things unfortunately, and that puts a lot of people in a downwards spiral.

'I'm upset'
'well I'm rolling on the ground in tears'
'I'm upset more'
'I can't walk from the despair' etc etc

I hate that expression. So twee and American (and totally ridiculous when the poster's from somewhere like Sheffield!)