Page 17 | Am I stupidly poor? Or living in the real world?

Chunkythighss · 2023-03-19T23:50:59+00:00

Just off the back of another post… people commenting that they will have to live off £1900 AFTER paying the mortgage and how this is going to be a struggle. nearly £2000 a month extra. This is more than I earn a month and pay rent, bills, etc… yet people are saying they’d struggle to live on this after bills? Am I massively poor or is this normal? 🙈

Morph22010 · 22/03/2023 07:27

It is easier to pick up bargains when you aren’t struggling, I usually pick up ds winter coat in the sales a year or two in advance and pick up other bits and pieces of clothing in sales if I see them. However people living hand to mouth can often only get things when they desperately need them so end up paying whatever the price is then

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 07:39

It is all relative, there are clearly people struggling more but it's not necessarily a huge amount leftover.

Our childcare for 3 days is £1000, for full time we'd be looking at £1500. Plus just gas and electric is costing us £350 a month now, and we don't use an excessive amount.

Ginseng1 · 22/03/2023 07:42

Op your kids are tiny wait til they teens then you'll see 1900 won't get you far at all - food, school stuff, the higher bills, if you want them involved in a sports or a club , kids phone costs - you name it!

twinmum2007 · 22/03/2023 07:45

Me. 2 incomes, yet in the s/e so costs for everything are huge. Commuting, bills etc. Oh and hungry teens cost a fortune. Definitely squeezed middle here.

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 07:48

Exactly this, we've had to stop at 1 child because 2 would be too much of a struggle financially, which I don't think is fair to any of us 😞

HAVELOCK · 22/03/2023 08:30

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:45

Yes I do have kids, bills, outgoings…
I wasn’t really looking for a debate I was just genuinely surprised that people think that £1900 is not a lot of money to have as extra (plus or minus bills).

I guess we would be classed on the poorer side but it was just a shock to read that people think they couldn’t live off this!

I know people have different circumstances like house size etc but if it came down to it, houses can be downsized and bills can be reduced.

I guess some of us live in very different worlds 🙈

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I’m in your boat. I sometimes think mumsnetters must all be loaded when I read certain threads 🤣

SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 22/03/2023 08:37

I'm registered disabled, so can't work (almost 64). Husband is almost 65, off sick due to heart problems. He gets £99 a week. With my PIP and a small private pension, we have £1060 a month coming in. Our house is paid off, but we've still got DDs.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 22/03/2023 08:42

LaDamaDeElche · 22/03/2023 06:26

But what I'm saying is the richer person's lifestyle will be impacted more. Its not much of a drop when your already at the bottom You're not understanding what I'm saying. When you're at the bottom there is no wriggle room and you are likely to be in debt already. You will literally not be able to heat your house, buy things like replacement shoes, could end up skipping meals to feed your kids etc. This isn't going to happen to someone on 10k who even drops half of their disposable income. They will have to adjust, but the most impacted will be the person who is already struggling and can't afford any further drop in income.

I don't agree the richer person is likely to lose their home, the kids pulled out of their schools, kids pulled out of clubs. Like I said previously as the poorer person my lifestyle wouldn't particularly change I wouldn't lose my home the kids wouldn't have to move schools they wouldn't have to drop out of clubs. My kids have never been without food or heat no matter how low our income thats where food vouchers and food banks come in and according to cab id be better of not working so I'm not even claiming everything I could. When your poor you get very good at managing money I can't imagine rich people are as good as they haven't had to.

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 09:04

What do you suggest working parents do about childcare then? A full time childcare place here is £1500.

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 09:15

Whippetlovely · 20/03/2023 19:01

Op you are right. £1900 is a fair amount to have AFTER mortgage. We have two kids dog and cat. Total for all bills after mortgage including petrol & diesel and food is around £1450. Our kids also have clubs included (hockey, athletics and swimming so not expensive hobbies) .We have joint income of around £55k so far from rich but we don’t struggle. The issue is people have bought things on tic as we live in a culture where people don’t want to save for things they want to buy now pay later. It’s all about looking good but in reality most people don’t own half the things they have. We have a decent car and van but saved up to buy them. I don’t have any sympathy for people that say they can’t afford to live on £1900 after a mortgage they clearly have poor money management. Living in the real world will do them good.

It's a fair amount depending on circumstance. If you're paying for childcare , that's the majority of it gone.

Rebel2 · 22/03/2023 09:31

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 09:04

What do you suggest working parents do about childcare then? A full time childcare place here is £1500.

I don't know
That's part of why I haven't had a child as couldn't afford the childcare

tabulahrasa · 22/03/2023 09:44

Lazyj · 22/03/2023 09:04

What do you suggest working parents do about childcare then? A full time childcare place here is £1500.

One if you switches jobs to work evenings, nights or early mornings.

You get a job in childcare so you get discounted rates or become a childminder.

If it’s a career and not just a a job then you time your children so either you can stay at home until they don’t cost that much and then start a career or wait until you’re established and you’re paid enough that you can afford the childcare.

I’m not saying it’s not shitty that most people need two incomes to manage but, childcare in this country isn’t affordable enough - but there are lots of people who just don’t earn enough to pay for it, so they just have to find other ways to do it.

Grumpafrump · 22/03/2023 10:08

Orangepolentacake · 22/03/2023 06:32

‘Charitable donations’? 😂

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We view charitable giving as one of our non-negotiable bills. We would cut down on thugs like cleaner and extracurriculars before cutting that out. We earmark 10% to give away and always have. Who else you do you think is funding places like food banks?

Talia99 · 22/03/2023 10:30

BoardingSchoolMater · 21/03/2023 19:08

There are utility bills, which are not negotiable. Most people realistically need a car, so that costs them either in maintenance or in repayments. But I'm always surprised that people on MN regard things like gym memberships and mobile phones as essentials. I've never set foot in a gym and have a health problem, but I walk a lot to counteract it, because you're better off exercising in the fresh air than in a stuffy gym. My phone (not a smartphone, because why does anyone actually need one?) costs £4 per month. You can still eat very cheaply if you think about it a bit. Holidays are not necessary - ditto cafes, coffees etc (take a flask if you want a decent coffee - Lidl do bags of good ground coffee for the price of less than one cup of Costa). As for the likes of "hair and nails" - well, I despair.

People need smartphones because there are a substantial number of activities where it is assumed a person will have both web access and an email address. A cheap smartphone is much more economical than a tablet or a computer.

Also, my SIM only deal with unlimited calls and texts plus 40GB data costs £10 per month. If necessary I could use it in place of my landline and my home Wi-Fi as well. All that for only £6 a month more than you are paying to just make calls and send texts.

Comedycook · 22/03/2023 10:31

If you can afford to give away 10% of your income you must be pretty wealthy.

I was once really really skint...we were having a hard time (thankfully behind us now). One of my best friends was raising money for charity and endlessly bombarding us all for sponsorship. I gave the bare minimum of a tenner but I kept thinking of all the things I needed and could have got with that. I'm still pissed off about it. Wish I'd just said no.

Comedycook · 22/03/2023 10:36

Smartphones are not a luxury anymore. They are a necessity. Mine only costs me £10 a month and the handset was £100....but it's not the 1970s. Living your life without access to the internet is actually extremely hard nowadays. For example, all permission slips for my dcs school are online forms you need to fill in. You don't pay for trips with cash, you pay over the website. Banking is online. Paying bills. Buying tickets. Etc

Talia99 · 22/03/2023 10:39

cracklefick · 21/03/2023 18:55

The fact that someone mentioned 'dry cleaning' as part of their essential bills 😂

I have around £20 pm left over for anything not deemed essential. And I deem essential as food and petrol basically.

I am required to wear suits for work. I buy the suit jackets off eBay (usually around £25-£30 a time) but they need to be cleaned periodically and most are dry clean only.

Not smelling / being dirty at work in a customer facing role is fairly essential if I want to stay employed, so yes, my dry cleaning bills are essential.

LaDamaDeElche · 22/03/2023 10:44

I don't agree the richer person is likely to lose their home, the kids pulled out of their schools, kids pulled out of clubs. Like I said previously as the poorer person my lifestyle wouldn't particularly change I wouldn't lose my home the kids wouldn't have to move schools they wouldn't have to drop out of clubs. My kids have never been without food or heat no matter how low our income thats where food vouchers and food banks come in and according to cab id be better of not working so I'm not even claiming everything I could. When your poor you get very good at managing money I can't imagine rich people are as good as they haven't had to I think you're thinking of the very poorest in society here but discounting the working poor who don't qualify for as much help and live on an extremely tight budget often with debts. A big drop in income would mean the difference between paying bills/rent and not. Not everyone lives in a council house. Many working poor people privately rent, so don't have the luxury to sell and downsize. They would be made homeless and could end up living in a hostel with their kids waiting to be housed. They could be housed miles away from children's schools etc. Not every poorer person is in the exact same situation as you. People with 10k disposable income dropping to 5k could absolutely still live well. They have assets to sell, can downsize, kids can change from private to state, they can shop at cheaper stores, go on cheaper holidays etc etc

AnnieSnap · 22/03/2023 12:14

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 21/03/2023 22:31

But what I'm saying is the richer person's lifestyle will be impacted more. Its not much of a drop when your already at the bottom

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That’s true, but it’s an essentials for life drop!

MsAngst · 22/03/2023 12:25

So glad to read this post and the replies. Was wondering what I was doing wrong in life to have the amount the other thread op and commentors have left over after main bills. Feel better about my <£2000 a month for everything now.

FUSoftPlay · 22/03/2023 12:35

Talia99 · 22/03/2023 10:39

I am required to wear suits for work. I buy the suit jackets off eBay (usually around £25-£30 a time) but they need to be cleaned periodically and most are dry clean only.

Not smelling / being dirty at work in a customer facing role is fairly essential if I want to stay employed, so yes, my dry cleaning bills are essential.

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You can claim your tax back for that.

Sensibletrousers · 22/03/2023 12:35

ZsaZsaTheCat · 22/03/2023 06:34

I don’t understand Chunkythighss why you would get pregnant a second time if you couldn’t afford food? And before I get shutdown we were in a similar situation years ago so husband had a vasectomy.

This was also my first thought - why do people carry on having children when they are so financially stressed? It makes no sense to me. Just stop, for the sake of the child/ren you already have, or until you are financially more secure?!?

Talia99 · 22/03/2023 13:07

FUSoftPlay · 22/03/2023 12:35

You can claim your tax back for that.

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It’s not an actual uniform so HMRC says I can’t even if I need to wear a certain style or colour.

The rule is that it has to be mandatory and unsuitable for day wear. Suits don’t count because they can be worn day to day.

Maverickess · 22/03/2023 13:17

Talia99 · 22/03/2023 13:07

It’s not an actual uniform so HMRC says I can’t even if I need to wear a certain style or colour.

The rule is that it has to be mandatory and unsuitable for day wear. Suits don’t count because they can be worn day to day.

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Same applies to me, I could claim for my care uniform but not my hospitality one because it could be everyday wear.
So I buy cheap stuff I can put in a washing machine, no way am I forking out £30/40 for work stuff and then dry cleaning!

They want me to look the part and give the image of a lucrative company they can damned well pay for it instead of expecting me to.

AskAwayAgain · 22/03/2023 13:20

People who are on more money and do tax forms claim for all sorts of things and get away with it. If you do not have to fill out a tax form and try and claim tax relief the rules are very strict.