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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People obsessed with labels

65 replies

elzober · 19/03/2023 23:35

I've had conversations and seen a lot of social posts recently where people seem so wrapped up in their own labels: non-binary, vegan, neurodiverse etc

I get that these things are part of peoples identity and they want to discuss them but it seems to be all they can talk about and completely defines them.

Non-binary friend brings every topic of conversation back to being non binary. Neurodiverse colleague talks of nothing else at work and don't get me started on vegan family member

AIBU to think people are so obsessed with these labels and seem to construct their entire sense of self around them?

OP posts:

snitzelvoncrumb · 19/03/2023 23:40

I had a conversation with a mum about labelling kids (she has neurodivergent kids). She said if they weren’t labeled, they wouldn’t get the extra help they need. They experience the world differently and sometimes need accommodations. Without the labelling they would really struggle.

snitzelvoncrumb · 19/03/2023 23:41

And it’s also a sense of pride and belonging. For example someone being autistic and seeing it as a positive thing.

I found this explanation helped me.

AlizeeEasy · 19/03/2023 23:42

You may well be experiencing confirmation bias. I would doubt that people would ONLY talk about whatever label or identity they fit into, but everytime they do you notice it more because it proves your point that they have nothing else to talk about.

Fifi0000 · 19/03/2023 23:43

Definitely noticed this I sometimes eat/order vegetarian or vegan food at work . I'm not a vegetarian or vegan but sometimes I just fancy it. Perhaps I might become a full on vegan at some point but many other vegans annoy me. Lots of people always asks me are you vegan etc it's actually very boring. There definitely seems to be a obsession of labelling and making one thing their sole identity.

Fifi0000 · 19/03/2023 23:44

Also on the spectrum here but no it's definitely not part of my identity. I live with it it doesn't make me who I am. I think lots of people just want to feel like they belong to a tribe and it makes them feel included ?

ticktickticktickBOOM · 19/03/2023 23:58

Neurodiverse is a different kettle of fish and is actually very different to each person so this needs to be spelled out so they can be included. I'm glad these people are finding their voice.

The non-binary, vegans, pansexuals, genderfluid etc etc etc (yawn) are trying to mark themselves out as somehow 'special' or 'unique' just because they're willing to go on about the food preferences or character traits they have.

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 00:00

I think you see this a lot lately because many of us grew up unlabelled and struggled with things most people found east and natural and we blamed ourselves and were shamed by society, so now that we know there was a reason behind all this we are sharing our stories and connecting with others who are similar. There is a lot of trauma weaved into having struggled so much with everyday tasks or basic things like talking and eating and that’s going to take a while to recover from.

Cumpanypicnic · 20/03/2023 00:01

I completely get what you mean. My OH is utterly obsessed some labels. I think part of the problem is instagram/Tiktok. Once they feature on someone ‘famous’s’ feed that’s it! It just dominates the conversation for the next few weeks until there is a new trend or they have saved up enough to afford it. It’s got to the point where, they ‘almost’ don’t wear anything that is unbranded! And we end up spending a fortune of the household budget on them. Some of the prices are just absolutely ludicrous and I think this is hardly the kind of example we should set to our easily impressionable DC1 and 2.

kittenkipping · 20/03/2023 00:08

I see what you're saying BUT the labels were always around, but in the "old days" other people saddled people with them rather than people choosing them. I remember the late 80s and if I kissed a man he was my "boyfriend " and when I kissed a woman i was a "lesbian" and my claim to bisexuality a lay over to gay town. They labelled weirdos and gays, dykes and retards. Liberals and commies. What's worrying is the trend toward self labelling- whereby young people choose a restricted label of part of their own identity and make that their entire identity?! It's bizarre and reductive

HatHairDontCare · 20/03/2023 00:09

ND isn’t a label, it’s a diagnosis.

As for it being vegan being someone’s identity on social media, it’s more likely that that’s just what they use social media for.

I have a social media account about veganism with thousands of followers. Lots about animal activism as well as how to be a healthy vegan, recipes, eating locally etc. I don’t discuss any other parts of my life on their. In real life, I rarely mention being vegan.

HatHairDontCare · 20/03/2023 00:11

there

kittenkipping · 20/03/2023 00:14

I agree that nd is a diagnosis and not a label- particularly as my dd is asd- although I counter balance that with the fact that most people who claim it in my experience (anecdotal at best) have no such thing as a diagnosis and have simply chosen their own.

dontgobaconmyheart · 20/03/2023 00:39

To be honest this isn't my experience of anyone that I know in any of those circumstances.

It isn't accurate or respectful to place neurodiversity in the same bracket as he choice of veganism.

I can't work out why it would be much of an issue. Do not all people talk about the things, issues, interests, their health, what's going on in there lives or is it only allowed when they're ones you agree are valid or are interested in?

LovingACountryBoy · 20/03/2023 01:17

Another goady ‘neurodiversity is a label’ thread. 🥱

supravit · 20/03/2023 13:19

How dare nuerodiverse people talk about their lives and struggles...

Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily · 20/03/2023 13:27

General labels that are plaguing the world right now I am with you it is unnecessary and at times enraging. However where Neurodiversity is involved, like actual diagnosed conditions it is entirely different. My eldest is Neurodivergent and that 'label' is the difference between having an education and a future and struggling for the rest of his life so that is a very much needed 'label' and an absolute battle to get and get correctly.

MegIsWhite · 20/03/2023 13:31

Veganism and non-binary are not in the same category as people having a different neurological state as others.

Two are choices and lifestyle; the other is a natural state/condition which is what makes them them - an identity.

GoodChat · 20/03/2023 13:35

MegIsWhite · 20/03/2023 13:31

Veganism and non-binary are not in the same category as people having a different neurological state as others.

Two are choices and lifestyle; the other is a natural state/condition which is what makes them them - an identity.

100%

Madness that neurodiverse people are being grouped together with vegans...

Conkersinautumn · 20/03/2023 13:42

Is that, by any chance, the only personal information you know about these people?

PinkBuffalo · 20/03/2023 13:44

supravit · 20/03/2023 13:19

How dare nuerodiverse people talk about their lives and struggles...

This
I often post about my day cos I live by my own that includes the good and the bad
some days are REALLY bad cos of my autism I am lucky my friends support me if I post about it cos when you by you own it is hard to see clearly (for me anyway)

whattodo1975 · 20/03/2023 13:47

Talking about struggles is one thing.
Making it your whole personality is another.

Dotjones · 20/03/2023 13:49

MegIsWhite · 20/03/2023 13:31

Veganism and non-binary are not in the same category as people having a different neurological state as others.

Two are choices and lifestyle; the other is a natural state/condition which is what makes them them - an identity.

I fundamentally disagree with that idea. Veganism is not a "lifestyle choice" if it's done in the knowledge that it's obscene to consume animal products. Calling it a lifestyle choice would be like arguing not being a paedophile is a lifestyle choice - it's not, it's just bloody obvious.

premicrois · 20/03/2023 13:50

I'm autistic. Not a label. A life changing diagnosis.

alloalloallo · 20/03/2023 13:55

Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily · 20/03/2023 13:27

Yes, I agree.

ND is not a label, it’s a diagnosis - the diagnosis that my daughter need to get the treatment and support she needs to access her education and generally go about her life.

What is with all these ND threads at the moment?

And no, they don’t hand out diagnoses like sweeties before anyone posts that.

Eranzer · 20/03/2023 13:59

I dunno, I do get what you're saying.
I suppose vegans and the like mention it frequently as it's a huge part of their lives and they're proud of it/enjoy discussing something they're passionate about, which is fine. Same with non-binary I suppose, they have passion for the subject and it is part of their identity.

Those with conditions such as ADHD, autism etc may mention it quite a bit as it explains their way of thinking and behaving. For example, I have OCD that infiltrates almost every aspect of my life. My daily behaviour makes much more sense to people that are made aware of this. Eg. If somebody asks why I'm not eating from the buffet, why I won't touch the stair rail, why I pull my sleeves over my hands to push the trolley at Tesco... I'll answer "OCD, mate". It clears it up for folk concisely.
So, I suppose what I'm saying is mentioning my label in my day to day life helps me avoid awkward encounters, and gets the point of my actions across to others without me just looking/acting like an odd ball. You can see why it may come up quite a bit!

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