To be upset about not getting a Mother's Day card?
HusbandKeepsSnoring · 19/03/2023 13:05
It's my first Mother's day as a mum. DH doesn't really see the point of cards, but he knows I like them. This morning I got nothing - no card, not even a cup of coffee in bed. We went out for a meal on Thursday (with his mum) and I enjoyed it and appreciated it, but I just really wanted something to make today, actual Mother's Day, special. A 29p card from Card Factory just to say 'you're an amazing mum to our daughter' would have made me happy. But I'm being made to feel bad because we had a meal with his family last week. Oh and he tidied the kitchen this morning (something I do every day).
AIBU to be a little bit sad?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 19/03/2023 16:57
I'm the supermarket this morning I was itching to slap the men hurriedly buying cards, flowers and chocolates. I think it's a real poor show not to get organised.
And it's not odd at all for a partner to buy the mother of his child a token gift on behalf of a child too young to do it for themself. These men will all be expecting the works on Father's Day.
stinkfaceison · 19/03/2023 16:57
No he never had bothered with Mother's Day as his own mother told him not to bother . My kids used to make me cards at school which I still have . It's just the fact he thought I was going to lie and say he got me something to save face . No I wasn't . I was bitterly disgusted. I expected just a card not a full shebang of gifts and flowers . Saying that he is good with anniversaries and birthdays
Orangepen13 · 19/03/2023 21:42
Firstly, you don’t need to be the child to be thankful of mothers and all the labour we do!
Secondly, Im in a similar boat. It’s my 2nd Mothers Day and my partner spent the last two nights away on a piss up, came home at 3pm today and didn’t even say thanks for solo parenting so he could stay in a hotel and go out.
He surprised me with some service station flowers and a lash lift next week (new for me!) but I was so so sad not to get a card. He said I got one from nursery (which I loved), but I wanted the appreciation from HIM.
OP, I’ve been gutted today. I shouldn’t be because I got something, but what I wanted was help, or to be thanked, to be cooked for maybe, or even a cup of tea made for me? None of these today. My mum stayed, so instead I did these things for her.
idk, maybe it’s a love language thing and I’m being unreasonable, but like you I just so wanted that card to show a little appreciation.
girlfriend44 · 19/03/2023 22:02
ILoveMyCaravan · 19/03/2023 15:55
I hear you OP. It's shit.
On the other hand, my DH has been reminding my 19yr old DS (lives at home) and even gone as far as buying flowers from our eldest DS who's away at uni. But has made out they're directly from him. They're clearly not.
I know both DSs wouldn't have remembered if he'd not been on at them. And I feel like shit.
Not even a phone call yet and it's nearly 4pm.
I know neither of them are bothered about cards, but they should know by now that & I AM!
It hurts, really fucking hurts 😢
Ask them how they'd like to be forgotten on fathers day when they are fathers.
sleepylittlebunnies · 19/03/2023 22:04
We have had a really busy weekend with a sleepover for DD10’s birthday and a lot of clearing up today followed by visiting our Mum’s and giving their cards and gifts. I was given gifts earlier but came to bed early as exhausted and realised I haven’t received a single card from my 3 DC and I am genuinely upset.
DH prefers presents to cards as do the DC but this is the first time in 16 years that I haven’t had one and yet they all know I love cards; handmade or shop bought and that I have kept every card they’ve ever given me. I’m feeling sad as they either don’t really know me or don’t really care.
H34th · 19/03/2023 22:18
Happy Mother's Day!
You said it's your first Mother's Day. I think he just didn't know what he is meant to do/ is expected of him.
I bought myself flowers and crafted myself a card. The second time around my dh knew better...
It is a much more fun day when the kid/s are a bit older though!
Zerrin13 · 19/03/2023 22:35
Same as usual today for me. Son,19 let's his sister deal with it. A card and a bunch of flowers. He has plenty of money and time off so he just can't be bothered. The day was the same as any Sunday for me. Lots of cooking and cleaning up. No offer of help cleaning up after the big roast id made. Not even a cup of tea.
TheFlis12345 · 19/03/2023 22:43
I had a lie in this morning then was brought tea. I was given a specially ordered card with beautiful words written inside thanking me for all I do, plus my favourite flowers and lovely chocolates.
I don’t actually have kids by the way, these were ‘from the dog to his Mumma’ with a little help from DH. So many husbands really need to get their shit together, do so much better and appreciate the mothers of their children.
GayforMoleman · 19/03/2023 23:58
I’m so sorry OP, you deserved much better.
My first Mother's Day was ruined. I still have a photo of the ripped off scrap of paper that then DP wrote on - "Sorry couldn’t get a card, none in the shop. Have a good day". He'd left it on the side of the shit tip of a kitchen he'd made a mess in before going to work. He stayed drinking in the pub after work that night too. So I dealt with two month old DD all day and tried to sort the house out to boot. The pattern began to reveal itself. She's 11 now and he's not been seen for dust for several years, that ripped note still stings.
She presented me with the most beautiful hand painted card today and it absolutely made my day. I'd wanted to be a Mum all my life. I’m so proud, and so very lucky to have her. Him? Pfft. The trash took itself out.
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