Does anyone else hate Mother’s Day?

I don't like it. I call it Motherfuckers Day ( in my head). My own mum died when she was 44. I was widowed when my kids were 4 and 9 so have organised my own Mothers day and birthday and christmas for years.
My teenage DSs both made me a nice card. We went out for lunch mid week. But today is like any other Sunday- supermarket shop, preparing and washing up meals, badgering about homework. No one is in a good mood- and because I decided to see what would happen if I didn't make all the effort with conversation, lunch time was largely silent.

Well I feel like crying. No acknowledgment of Mother’s Day at all from my 21yo, hasn’t said happy Mother’s Day to me, hasn’t got me a card. My mother is dead. All in all a really shit day and to be honest I’m fucking done with Dd.

Probably going to get some stick here but the worst ones are "happy heavenly Mother's Day" or "happy Mother's Day to my mum in heaven" year after year.
Same on birthdays and day of death. It's constant and pointless "happy 87th birthday to my mum in heaven" except she died when she was 53.

YANBU, I completely agree. I am so grateful my mum is alive and well, and she is a fantastic, lovely mum. But I detest Mother's Day for the constant gloating posts on social media and how shit it makes people feel. It's so unnecessary.

Then you have the posts on here where mums feel like shit because their kids or other halves didn't bother making an effort for them.

My mum died two years ago and looking back through my FB memories I'm now really glad that I posted 'twaddle' about her every year on mothers' day.

She had a horrendous start in life and had dragged herself up from nothing. I often told her how much I loved her but on special days like today and birthdays, I deliberately posted because I was so proud of her.

I think she liked those posts too because it reminded her that though she'd started out with nothing and spent much of her young adult years alone, in later life she had a husband and kids and grandkids and friends who thought she was fabulous.

'Twaddle' to some. Lovely memories for others.

My mum passed at the age of 44 when I was 10 so I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. Just another quiet day for me with family but I normally spend my Sundays with family anyway.

It can be part of grieving. It can be a way of publicly acknowledging 'this person existed. I miss them. I want them back'.

SM effusive postings by DH/DP's is a big 🚩 for me.
Love a simple gesture from my children and that's it.

Agree its just so boring. I have taken my mother a gift. Had one from my own dc.
But scrolling facebook is so boring. I think I would find it more interesting in seeing what they were having for tea/dinner.

I hate Mother's day. I lost my mama 23 years ago, My Children live abroad. Moonpig is kept in business for them. Of course, I am so grateful. My Step Children's bio Mother is dying and it could be today. Such a shit day.

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02HKXusDyMGUNFpTph1anYNEy9RyDPKiGjsEU9mkDDxDLwaxNhQCXdq3bszHokGMibl&id=100064528549137&sfnsn=scwspmo

Maybe some of you will find this helpful?

Honestly, the only husbands I’ve seen do the gushy posts are the ones who are pretty crap husbands in real life 🤷‍♀️

I like the day but that’s because it’s about my family unit - I get a lie in and a load of homemade crafts tat and then it’s a normal day. I know I’m loved and appreciated because DH and kids tell me / show me at various points over the year, not just on the day.

I would stay off SM if you can, but I’d also take it with a grain of salt how genuinely wonderful the lives are of those people that feel they have to tell everyone how genuinely wonderful their lives are!

Sending good wishes, love your description of your silent lunch. I hope you get a nice slot of time doing whatever the feck you want. I've seen none of my kids today, all away. Saw one yesterday but happily fannied about in bed all day while DH at work, honestly it's been brilliant. I'm not engaging with the hype and performative stuff again. I'm happy to be free of pressure. I think I'll be brave and roll this approach out for all ocassions.

I love mothers day, but then I don't post about it on sm, or read others sm

Yes, I’ve never celebrated the day, my kids know this. My birthday on the other hand….
Mira so crazy seeing all those purple buying flowers today in the shops, what a made up joke this day is

@takeawayandwine yeah maybe but you don't need to look for attention to grieve. There are lots of other ways. I'm not talking about odd posts I'm talking about the constant

My sister and I had a toxic narcissist for a mother who was horrible to both of us.
I hate all this mush about wonderful mum being your best friend and how you only get one mum who's such a special person etc etc

It makes me wonder what it must be like to have a normal mum 😢

I hate mothers day. I lost my mum 15 years ago and this day is a right smack in the face.

I absolutely loathe it. We don’t celebrate it in this house. My kids are absolutely fine with it.

i prefer the “love you” text or impromptu bottle of wine which they do and its much more personal.

this day is ever so painful and when i woke up this morning, i cried as i miss my mum.

Thanks @VioletLemon for your good wishes. Cheered me right up! I think it's good to not have high expectations- and good to not be a martyr and to organise your own fun! I threw a few nice beauty things into my shop - and I'd ordered myself 9 (nine!!!) Betty's fondant fancies which were delivered today . I've got some trash TV for this evening ( saved 2 episodes of Married At First Sight Australia).
I usually manage lunch time conversation on my own- anupbeat soliloquy with a few grunts from the teens.... but, just for today, I was hoping one of them might make an effort to bring some cheer....
Thanks for your reply.

@amiold I don't think it's attention seeking. For me it's like a gravestone...you use your (limited) words to say how you feel. Facebook can be like a gravestone.

I hate the social media side of today to. It looks so competitive. My own mother gets upset that I don't post a gushing tribute to her but I can't get my head around her need for me to shout to the world about her. I rarely post online as it is and I'm certainly not starting that drivel

@takeawayandwine so why not go to the grave or a place they loved or reminds you of them? Even keep a journal. I don't know I just don't get it

I appreciate you don't get it but everyone's grief journey is different. Some find comfort in the strangest of things.

In our case, because of lots of different complicated reasons we don't have a grave.

The endless social media posts are so tiresome...even the ones that mention those who have lost their mums. I know mine is dead thanks...no need to be reminded

I absolutely loathe Mother’s Day. Mainly because I have a mother who was very emotionally abusive to me but yet every Mother’s Day expected the royal treatment and for me to make a huge effort despite her being an appalling mother, so the day has very negative connotations. Like others, I also hate the mass social media posts and how everyone is in competition with each other on it and I also agree that the public displays of love and gratitude are nauseating. Maybe I’m a cynic but I chose to have my daughter and it’s my job to love and care for her and as much as I want her to be grateful and appreciative of her good life, I don’t feel I deserve a reward for simply doing what I should be doing as her mum. Rant over!