Has Mothering Sunday become too commercialised?

[BasilParsley]

In my yoof, (many years ago!) we went to Church on Mothering Sunday (as well as others) and were given by Church staff a v. small posy (maybe five little blooms?) of crocuses or violets to give to our Mums. Mums were grateful and we all went back home and had Sunday lunch as usual,

When did it descend into just another "Hallmark Day" where an elaborate card and an expensive present is now the norm?

Yes it has become too commercialised as has everything else. I abhor all these ridiculous days on which we’re supposed to spend money for absolutely no reason. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Birthdays, Christmas Day etc.
I make the effort for my kids birthdays and their Christmas because they’re too young to see just what a pointless waste of time and money it all is.
I don’t ever celebrate my own birthday because I just don’t see the point I was born so what it’s the most common thing there is everything in the entire universe was born.

This. Mothers are selling themselves short by placing this much emphasis on a couple days of the week when really in many cases their families (eg. Husband and teens) take them for granted all year round.

Colourfingers, so why bother with your children's birthdays then?

I am pretty consistent because I only celebrate birthdays. I do make a fuss of people I’m close to on their birthdays (if they celebrate them) but I’m not interested in Valentine’s Day , Christmas etc. I used to buy presents out of societal pressure but I’ve stopped doing that and just do my charity donations for Christmas instead.

I feel birthdays are a bit different which is why I make an exception because it’s a more specific celebration of an individual in my life rather than a day hallmark has deemed we should all do x and y.

but I do agree most of us buy
into something and that’s fair enough. Perhaps one or two commercial celebrations a year is better than the rampant consumerism which leads some people
to actively engage in each and every one of the celebrations.

Yes it has become too commercialised as has everything else. I abhor all these ridiculous days on which we’re supposed to spend money for absolutely no reason. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Birthdays, Christmas Day etc.
It's all about money. It's another excuse to convince some people to buy more stuff.

We celebrate most of those days but in a low key way by choice. The best part of it was taking a step away from the expectations and the advertising. Stepping back from a lot of the expectations and marketing has been liberating.

When I was little girl I was given a (single) daffodil at church which I would twizzle about and bend and kneel on and hit my siblings with and then present the sorry thing to my mother alongside the bunch of daffodils my dad had bought at the greengrocer.
When I was big girl I wasn’t given a daffodil at church anymore because they were for the little kids and I bought a bunch of daffodils from the supermarket.
When I was an adult living at home I bought a more expensive bunch of flowers from a florist.
Now I’m well into middle age I order a flower delivery

There is a “hidden” bunch of daffodils in my utility room and I found ds2 casually reading “the national trust book of scones” earlier. The world has changed and I have changed but it’s not changed that much. My mother would be spectacularly unimpressed with a single daffodil now, but it’s because I’m 48, not because she’s lost all perspective in todays fast paced commercialist society.

Fgs. Buy an 'elaborate' card (how elaborate can a card really be?) or don't. Buy a present or don't. Do Mothers' Day how you want, or don't do it at all. Hallmark Cards aren't going to come and hunt you down if you're not elaborate enough.

The tat and commercialisation is there for those that prefer that. It is a choice anyone can make. Same with other "special" days through the year. Never felt the need to buy the tat or over do material presents - something my own mum taught me!

The number of people on here who don't understand the difference between Mothering Sunday and mother's day is, frankly, worrying.

I would argue that every ‘day’ has become more commercialised - if there’s a way to make money from it with gifts/cards/days out then companies will pounce to do so. I don’t think it’s specific to Mother’s Day.

I don't know if you grew up in the 1950s but I don't think going to church is most peoples experience of Mother's Day, even if technically speaking that's its origin.

I think it's always been about cards and a bit of a fuss made about your mum (although I do accept that some people on here seem to be a bit highly strung about it...)

Maybe it's commercial in your house OP, that's down to you.

My ds has just brought me a cup of coffee (and gone back to bed so I can enjoy it in peace).

Later I will plant out the plants he bought me yesterday at the nursery, and then we'll go for a cycle ride together. 😊

No hallmark card, no lunch out, just a day when we do more of what I would like.

It does seem to be very commercialized now, too often it's 'what did you get' instead of a simple 'hope you had a nice day'.

It's more of a case of your husband or partner getting you something or reminding your children. I'd rather get a nice hand drawn card, but it DD forgets then it's no big deal.

Then people complain that they do loads for Fathers Day as if that's an excuse to be angry at not getting anything.

Then people complain that they do loads for Fathers Day as if that's an excuse to be angry at not getting anything
It's the tit for tat and passive aggression that I find really weird on this topic. Do people not discuss with their partner how they'll celebrate or not celebrate particular days?

The idea of going overboard on Father's Day in a bid to hint that you want mother's day a certain way, or if your mother's day isn't as gift heavy as you like you should stop doing presents for DH for father's day, his birthday and Christmas to teach him a lesson sounds so hard work.
Just talk as a couple about what you value and what matters like adults.

For me Mother’s Day the kids usually make something at school, and buy a small gift at a stall at school. We don’t do anything, but I won’t make any meals. The only reason I go into the kitchen is to make tea. I also won’t rush around seeing both sides of the family.

Mum cooked the lunch with help from all of us kids and Dad with regards to chopping veg

Unless this happened every week sounds like your mum was short changed.

Well.mum, instead of you making the roast on your own,.on this special day you get to micromanage incompetent kids and your husband who can't even be bothered to take the burden of cooking on for one bleeding day a year.

As for those who are worried that people don't know the difference between the churchy origins and the modern interpretation, why on earth is it something to bother about. Unless you are religious or doing a pub quiz it makes zero difference.

My partner is pretty appreciative and pulls his weight year round, but I don't begrudge the women whose husband's don't a bit of spoiling on one day to make them feel better. Fact is most men are useless and sexist at expecting women to carry the mental and domestic load. And that rears it's head on all holidays, Christmas, Easter even bloody father's day. Yes I'd like the standard to be higher for men, but at present I seem to be in the minority.

When my kids were little, they used to make me a card themselves ( which I still have ) and give me a bunch of daffodils picked from my garden 😂
As adults, they buy me a card and still give me daffodils, but picked from the shop.
Just having them calling in and giving me a hug is worth more than anything money can buy to me.

You're describing my mother's day. Our church still does little flowers and my children will make me homemade cards.
I'll also get breakfast in bed.

We don't spend money on cards or presents for mothers day/fathers day/valentines day etc. It's not compulsory.

Once Blue Peter stopped showing kids how to make a 'posy' of tissue flowers stuck to the bottom of a Dairylea triangle box, Mothers' expectations of gifts to show how much they are loved rose to ridiculous proportions
If it's not in a Tiffany (common btw) box or delivered with a brass band accompaniment, there will be hell to pay

Not a day we have chosen to celebrate. My DC are adults and I suppose it was something I discouraged when they were growing up. I think I would be cross if they bought me something rather than grateful.

My DD will sometimes appear with something she thinks I will like but randomly.

Can't believe the number of emails I've had this week suggesting gifts - handbags, hairdryers, boots for Mother's Day gifts.

I was a small child in the ‘70s, and it was a church-going event then. Small bunch of flowers for Mum and home-made card. There weren’t any presents or meals out.

I didn't know that, thank you.

We'll all vary, but here I've got spring flowers, candles and perfume (she was running out but likes a spritz so that's more an everyday present, she's disabled, can't go out and can't use the internet) and will travel there and cook lunch. Healthy main meal (I'm not going by public transport with full on roast regalia) but her favourite stodge for dessert, jam sponge and custard.

No, it hasn’t.

mothers need to be appreciated and treated in whatever form that takes.

and I don’t want to go to church thanks

or cook a roast after it (even though my OH would cook the roast but I know full well most OHs wouldn’t)

If it's not in a Tiffany (common btw) box or delivered with a brass band accompaniment, there will be hell to pay

Except that's not even remotely true, is it?

I just wanted a token of appreciation. A mug/keyring some sort of readily available cheap crap to show someone had taken some thought and a tiny bit of their time.

i don’t think it’s too commercialised you buy into it the extent you want to!