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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in the wrong?

40 replies

Clouday · 17/03/2023 16:16

Me and my partner have recently moved into a new house. Parking on the street is limited, but not an impossible situation.

Our neighbours across the road have two large cars and a driveway big enough to accommodate both. However, they only ever have one car on the drive and instead use the street parking for their other car. We do not have a driveway so have to rely either on the street parking or the back lane.

As they are opposite us it stands to reason that when they park on the street it’s directly outside our house, or as near enough as can be. Before I go any further I’d like to point out I’m totally aware that as long as the car is taxed they can park anywhere they like on the street and there’s no laws to stop that. I don’t have any real issue with that and them parking outside our house (however annoying it is at times and inconsiderate IMO given they have a drive!).

While we’ve been moving in it’s been a bit of a struggle lugging sofas and furniture halfway up the street as we can’t get outside our house for their car, but we haven’t said a word and never intend to raise it as an issue.

Today, however, has really p*ed me off. I went out in the car early this morning to run an errand and when returning I parked up as near my house as possible, behind their car. In fairness, I did park close to their car because from our perspective we don’t want to annoy off our adjoining neighbours by constantly parking outside their house. However, it wasn’t unreasonably close and there was room to get out.

They came and knocked this morning and asked me to not park so close to their car in future. I asked if they wanted me to pull back a bit if it was difficult to get out, but he just told me he’d manage but not to park so close in the future. He was going on about how they’ve lived here for a few year and haven’t had a problem with parking. I think what he actually meant by that is the previous owners of the home didn’t have a car and so they never had any to deal with other cars using that spot.

I did suggest that he had a drive and if it was an issue for him he could fit both cars on there. He then told me that I could park in the back lane, which I guess I can but equally he can park on the drive so I suppose they’re both moot points.

I did feel like pointing out the inconveniences it causes us when his car is constantly right outside our house (particularly when moving all our furniture in, for elderly relatives coming to visit etc.), but I don’t think he really cares and at the end of the day he is legally entitled to park there. It just annoys me that after not saying a word or complaining to them in an attempt to keep peace, they’ve come and taken issue with us parking outside our house and near their car which they chose to put there.

Me and my partner are a young couple and really don’t want to cause rifts, we’re tried to be really considerate and notify our neighbours in advance of any work being done and have parked courteously however annoyed inside I might feel about not getting a spot near our home! I did offer to move the car but I think he just wanted to have a go.

Am I the one in the wrong? Should I just park in the back lane to keep the peace?

OP posts:
IamSmarticus · 17/03/2023 16:29

It seems to me that his issue is that you parked too close to his car, not that you were near to it. We have a woman across the road from us who always parks 2 inches away from the car behind her making it very difficult for us to get out of the space sometimes. My DP has gone out before and asked her to move forward a bit. (You don't drive a dark red SUV do you 😂)

And you can't really say anything about the fact that he's always parked outside your house because as you say, he's legally parked.

Mortimercat · 17/03/2023 16:32

Well I don’t think you should park too close to somebody else. It seems like you are not disputing that, so it was a reasonable thing for neighbour to mention.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 17/03/2023 16:33

Can you make a drive and get a dropped kerb? Personally I would use the back door and park in the back lane. Pointless trying to accommodate twats.

WeWereInParis · 17/03/2023 16:35

Of course he can park on the road if he wants to. And so can you. I would park wherever it was most convenient for me and ignore him. Sometimes on street parking requires people to park a bit close to each other. Maybe you did park a little too close this time (although you've said it wasn't unreasonable, and he didn't actually want you to move so it can't have been that bad) so next time park slightly further away. But I would absolutely be ignoring his request to park on the back lane if that was more inconvenient to me than the street.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 17/03/2023 16:37

Another idea is next time you can get the spot outside your home is to use alternative methods of transport for a week. See how they manage being forced to park elsewhere.. Maybe they will see the error of their ways..

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 17/03/2023 16:42

What's being a young couple got to do with it?

Are they parked legally?
Is the car taxed and got an MOT?

If the above is true, then nothing you can do. You might think what ever you want, but it will only wind you up.

Don't park to close to their car though.

MajorCarolDanvers · 17/03/2023 16:43

You shouldn't park too close to another car.

Doesn't matter what you are annoyed about, how old you are or how many sofas you've carried.

RosaBonheur · 17/03/2023 16:45

If he doesn't like people parking too close to him he can use his own driveway.

pizzaHeart · 17/03/2023 16:48

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 17/03/2023 16:37

Another idea is next time you can get the spot outside your home is to use alternative methods of transport for a week. See how they manage being forced to park elsewhere.. Maybe they will see the error of their ways..

This would be my approach but our family had unpredictable hours, liked walking and going by bus.

I would ignore him and in the future park whenever you find a place leaving reasonable distance between you and other cars.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 17/03/2023 16:50

I did suggest that he had a drive and if it was an issue for him he could fit both cars on there. He then told me that I could park in the back lane,

So can he, the entitled twat.

Or on his perfectly functional drive.

Am I the one in the wrong? Should I just park in the back lane to keep the peace?
How are you in the wrong?
You are doing nothing different from what this couple do - park a car on the road.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 17/03/2023 16:52

If he has the brass neck to raise this again OP, just blandly ask him why he feels the need to give you parking instructions, wish him a good day, & walk away from him.

tenterden · 17/03/2023 16:54

Agree with PP. His issue is that you parked too close to his car.

Just park a considerate distance from other cars in future and this won’t reoccur.

WhineWhineWINE · 17/03/2023 16:56

Be honest, you parked close on purpose to make a point.

CaroleSinger · 17/03/2023 16:56

To be honest I struggle with this idea that everyone has to park as near to their front door as possible because they can't walk more than 2 inches to get indoors. They all remove parking spaces from the street by having driveways which causes chaos for people who don't have a drive or for visitors. Was it visible before moving in that parking was already an issue there?

Awrite · 17/03/2023 17:02

I think you should have asked him if he could move his car when you were moving in. That way, all this resentment would not have built up.

Spiderboy · 17/03/2023 17:11

How close were you actually parked? I live on a street and we all parallel park - a foot either side is the norm to get as many cars in as we can - comes with the territory.

Neither of you are “wrong” really but i get why you would be annoyed

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 17/03/2023 17:14

I'd pay for a dropped kerb.

Marblessolveeverything · 17/03/2023 17:15

They probably only park one car on it so they can come and go without moving two cars. You were too close to his car, park with consideration, simple.

Surely you noticed the parking issue before you bought.?

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 17/03/2023 17:16

Does his house have no garden and it's all drive? I don't understand why he can't park outside his own house otherwise. If it is a double drive, why don't they park on it?

TheFlis12345 · 17/03/2023 17:25

I feel your pain OP. Due to an unusual road layout, only a few houses on our street have been allowed to convert their front gardens to drives. One guy has a very wide double drive and 2 cars. He only ever parks one car on his drive and the other in one of the limited on road spaces. He is a perfectly nice guy but his ridiculous parking means everyone on the street hates him.

NotTooOldPaul · 17/03/2023 17:28

Many years ago a friend was fed up with someone parking outside his house. He parked behind their car and I parked in front of it. We left less than an inch of space between the cars. The other person called the police. I said that I would move my car in a few days. The police officer made some notes and included that there was no visible damage to my car or my friend's car. He warned the other person against causing criminal.damage.
I think we won.

motherofC · 17/03/2023 17:30

I literally would not use my car for days on end once parked outside my own house. It’s common bloody sense never mind courtesy to be mindful of other peoples cars outside their own house. I’d ask them if you could park your car on their drive if they want to park outside your house.

you can’t argue with stupid though. It’s just being nice to others and they clearly feel entitled.

Pleasebeafleabite · 17/03/2023 17:38

Marblessolveeverything · 17/03/2023 17:15

They probably only park one car on it so they can come and go without moving two cars. You were too close to his car, park with consideration, simple.

Surely you noticed the parking issue before you bought.?

Yes OP, why did you not carry out a in depth covert surveillance operation, making a note of comings and going at all hours as part of your house purchase decision?

if your entitled neighbour does not want people parking too close to him he knows what he can do

HurryShadow · 17/03/2023 17:39

While I don't think the neighbour is being unreasonable, I do wonder what his attitude would be like if you managed to park your car in "his" spot OP...

Unfortunately this is the downside of moving to a property that doesn't have it's own parking, so while it is annoying that they have a parking place that they're not using, you did move to a house that didn't have any of it's own, and therefore this type of thing was likely to happen.

ShapesAndNumbers · 17/03/2023 17:46

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