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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in the wrong?

40 replies

Clouday · 17/03/2023 16:16

Me and my partner have recently moved into a new house. Parking on the street is limited, but not an impossible situation.

Our neighbours across the road have two large cars and a driveway big enough to accommodate both. However, they only ever have one car on the drive and instead use the street parking for their other car. We do not have a driveway so have to rely either on the street parking or the back lane.

As they are opposite us it stands to reason that when they park on the street it’s directly outside our house, or as near enough as can be. Before I go any further I’d like to point out I’m totally aware that as long as the car is taxed they can park anywhere they like on the street and there’s no laws to stop that. I don’t have any real issue with that and them parking outside our house (however annoying it is at times and inconsiderate IMO given they have a drive!).

While we’ve been moving in it’s been a bit of a struggle lugging sofas and furniture halfway up the street as we can’t get outside our house for their car, but we haven’t said a word and never intend to raise it as an issue.

Today, however, has really p*ed me off. I went out in the car early this morning to run an errand and when returning I parked up as near my house as possible, behind their car. In fairness, I did park close to their car because from our perspective we don’t want to annoy off our adjoining neighbours by constantly parking outside their house. However, it wasn’t unreasonably close and there was room to get out.

They came and knocked this morning and asked me to not park so close to their car in future. I asked if they wanted me to pull back a bit if it was difficult to get out, but he just told me he’d manage but not to park so close in the future. He was going on about how they’ve lived here for a few year and haven’t had a problem with parking. I think what he actually meant by that is the previous owners of the home didn’t have a car and so they never had any to deal with other cars using that spot.

I did suggest that he had a drive and if it was an issue for him he could fit both cars on there. He then told me that I could park in the back lane, which I guess I can but equally he can park on the drive so I suppose they’re both moot points.

I did feel like pointing out the inconveniences it causes us when his car is constantly right outside our house (particularly when moving all our furniture in, for elderly relatives coming to visit etc.), but I don’t think he really cares and at the end of the day he is legally entitled to park there. It just annoys me that after not saying a word or complaining to them in an attempt to keep peace, they’ve come and taken issue with us parking outside our house and near their car which they chose to put there.

Me and my partner are a young couple and really don’t want to cause rifts, we’re tried to be really considerate and notify our neighbours in advance of any work being done and have parked courteously however annoyed inside I might feel about not getting a spot near our home! I did offer to move the car but I think he just wanted to have a go.

Am I the one in the wrong? Should I just park in the back lane to keep the peace?

OP posts:
MysteryBelle · 17/03/2023 17:49

I think you’re in the right. Neighbor even admitted you didn’t have to move your car for him to have room to get out. He’s irked because you dared to ‘encroach’ even a little into ‘their’ space which is right in front of your own house! When they have a driveway! They are acting entitled, they should use their driveway and you should be able to park in front of your house instead of them constantly using that spot as if it is exclusively theirs. He was rude to tell you what to do. Especially you just moving in and having to lug everything up the street, they had to have seen that and yet didn’t move their car to their own driveway for at least a few days. If I were you, I’d start parking in front of your house every time you can. They are not being neighborly AT ALL.

LumpyandBumps · 17/03/2023 17:50

I don’t think you were wrong to park fairly close to him so as not to inconvenience your neighbour, as long as the car the other side wasn’t also close.
He was able to get his car out without you moving yours, so a bit of a non issue.
You are both entitled to park on the road and both need to put up with the other one getting there first, although I hope that you manage to bag the space sometimes.

Shepandawing · 17/03/2023 17:51

He has a problem, he came and talked to you about it. That seems a very adult way of going about things. Equally when you were moving you could have talked to them and explained the situation ....you never know they could have responded in a reasonable manner and you wouldn't be quietly seething

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 17/03/2023 17:53

I don't understand why you were happy to park really close to his car, but not happy to park even a little bit in front of the neighbours' house?

StrawberryWater · 17/03/2023 17:54

My neighbour parks right up against my back bumper. I can’t even begin to describe how much it gives me the rage. I can’t get in the boot.

Don’t park too close to people. It’s rude and a massive inconvenience.

whynotwhatknot · 17/03/2023 17:56

when you mean close were you blocking him in

you can both park where you like it is annoying though when someone has a drive but wont use it because it inconveniences them

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 17:58

If there was enough space for him to get out tell him you can't park further back because you'd then be parking illegally.

Inject · 17/03/2023 17:59

Without knowing how close you were parked to his car it is difficult to say. However, this is not a decent neighbour as he would use his drive way rather than using up a space others need more, people without drive ways basically. Try and park outside your house before them. Don't say anything though, as you said if Road Tax is paid then that's that.

AllyArty · 17/03/2023 18:08

It’s a tricky situation really.
Is the reason that they don’t park both cars in the drive because one would need to move their car to let the other one out?
I would kill them with kindness. Pop over with some homemade biscuits and say that you never intended to have any awkwardness with any of your new neighbours and hope that you can start again and mention that it’s be difficult for you when elderly friends and relatives visit etc., and that it has been a stressful time. Ask if they would be agreeable to putting both cars in their driveway when u have visitors.

GoodChat · 17/03/2023 18:13

OP just ask him if you can park on his drive if he's not going to

Witchytwitchybitchy · 17/03/2023 18:13

Park where you want.Your neighbour does. Jus take sure you never hit his car!

PillBoxes · 17/03/2023 18:20

Park on his drive. Ha ha.

If it annoys you, do what others have suggested, when the space outside your house is free, park there for as long as you can. Betcha he will park on his driveway then and might actually like it. Going forward......

I'd be checking out the feasibility of putting in a driveway and dropped kerb asap though.

catshreddedthesofa · 17/03/2023 18:26

How much distance are we talking in terms in terms of being in front of your neighbours house/parking closer to his car and outside your own house?

Is the parking too close causing him any actual issues or does he just not like it?

If the latter I would ignore and if he comes round again say "oh sorry can't you not get out?" which will force him to keep reiterating that he can in fact get out of the space fine.

You probably shouldn't, but I'd make pass agg comments like "ah with the heavy shopping I just wanted to get as close to my front door as possible. You are so lucky you both have the drive to park on!" hard stare.

But entitled men and their parking is a trigger for me!

DevantMaJardin · 17/03/2023 18:30

This is a parking thread, no?
Where's the mandatory diagram? ;)

DeadbeatYoda · 17/03/2023 18:32

He sounds like a selfish, entitled twat. Ignore him. Stand your ground or he'll take liberties.

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