Me or my friend?

[Tellyaddict123]

This has been playing on mind, a friend near by has a little girl around 9 months younger than mine. We have occasionally looked after each other kids on a weekend for a few hours if needed, thinking moving house and big life events.

I have met her husband a few times and haven’t spoken too much. Friend goes away on a business trip and I get a call from her husband around 6pm. He’s caught a sickness bug and asks if I can have their daughter over night. This was mid week and I would then have to drive their child to nursery the next day (not the same nursery as my child) and I would be late to my work.

I said I would see what I can do but ended up saying no. We didn’t want to risk getting a sickness bug and they don’t live super close, its 20mins drive away.

Now my friend has pretty much stoped talking to me and when I brought up the conversation I was told oh yeah we now need to evaluate our support network as he was passing out on the floor and couldn’t care for their daughter.

All I could think is I have done a sickness with kids before it’s not great but you get through it and even if we had grandparents to support I would want to risk them getting it.

Am I a bad friend for not helping?

My friend lives 'nearby' (different part of the same town is what i would consider nearby) and it's about a 20 min drive. Nothing unusual about that.

"oh yeah we now need to evaluate our support network"

That's helpful to know. You thought you were friends. Turns out you were support network.

Ditched as you weren't available 24 hours. How very dare you!

Twenty minutes is nearby!

So when people talk about help with kids, none of you guys would be friends who help others with their childcare emergencies ?

YANBU. They sound pathetic. You really are well rid x

For me it’s define a childcare emergency? 100% someone broke their leg and they need help I would have been there. Or their mum died and they need support etc.

However in this situation it’s evening when the kids going to bed and potentially infecting my family with a sickness bug is different. I’ve had sickness bugs and just cracked on before, I’ve never rang a friend to help.

So "we now need to evaluate our support network" is how she says she's fallen out with you? What an idiot. You're her mate, did she seriously expect you to be late for work and potentially take the bug into your home?

YANBU but I do think if it had been me, I'd of taken your friends DC.

Now my friend has pretty much stoped talking to me and when I brought up the conversation I was told oh yeah we now need to evaluate our support network as he was passing out on the floor and couldn’t care for their daughter.

"Good to know - I was labouring under the misapprehension that I was your friend, not your support network. Thanks for clearing that up."

Why? Because there was - GASP! - a man left in sole parental charge?

How many millions of women just get on with it, & don;t expect other people to do their parenting for them just because the are vomiting?

No, because he was ill and I could help.

The swx of the person involved has no baring at all.

Sex**

It has plenty of bearing.

This man immediately rang a woman to come & take his child away because he was vomiting.
I don't know any women who do that.

That was my first thought - "Oh, I didn't know I was part of your support network".

I did say OP was not unreasonable to say no, just that I think I would have helped 🤷🏻‍♀️and that it wouldn't make a difference to me whether it was a man or a woman. Just because you don't know any women who would do it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

This