I am depressed, chronically lonely and just tired of it all.
I am a single parent to 1 DC who I had very young. I have no help from their father or from my family and have no friends. I rent in South East and on paper I have done very well. As I said I am chronically lonely and have zero support, I have had waves of depression every year since I was 16 and feel like I am slipping again.
To be honest I am just not sure what the point of my life is, I have really tried so hard to over come the circumstance I put myself in when I naively decided to become a lone young mother but I can never get ahead. I am not good with money at all I am two years into earning good money, but with student loans, cost of being a lone parent and my bad habits I probably have very little in savings and investments.
I have not had the best upbringing and have been abandoned/neglected by both parents, so I don’t have a relationship with them anymore.
Regarding friends, I have fallen out of contact with them for one reason or the other, many close friends I have fallen out with. Due to my upbringing good friendships weren’t encouraged at a young age and then due to my depression I either sabotaged them by isolating myself or as I mentioned fallen out with them. In all honesty I have never felt like anyone would understand me (due to weird upbringing and then being a young mother).
In the past 1 1/2 I have gained so much weight due to just being indoors all the time. I have gained all the weight due to an eating disorder, isolation and not giving a f because who is really going to want to be with me, my family don’t even care so why would a complete stranger.
I have honestly tried ‘my’ best to build friendships but no one cares enough, tried to build a village as I have no family and again no one cares. It would be good to just get advice, guidance, just talk to someone but everyone has their lives, family and friends.
I just want to pack it all in I have had enough.