Page 27 | School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

CandlelightGlow · 2023-03-16T10:59:56+00:00

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind. My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway. We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time. He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

DahliaMacNamara · 20/03/2023 00:08

Blondes, on our local school website it comes up as a drop-down option in Key Information. I've just looked at another school in a different local authority, and they have the same.

DahliaMacNamara · 20/03/2023 00:18

@Blondeshavemorefun , that's the school policies, not the KCSIE information.

If time hangs heavy, here it is

www.gov.uk/government/publications/keeping-children-safe-in-education--2

toomuchlaundry · 20/03/2023 00:24

@DahliaMacNamara I sat in on a school volunteer safeguarding training session where one parent stated that nothing like that happened in their village. So many people don’t realise what is happening to so many children, that is why policies like this need to be in place.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2023 07:33

I was just curious

Dd5 has had odd days off for ear ache and 48hrs for s&d

Plus last yr 3 days off each for covid - cp and tonsilitus

Reception had all 3 coming down after each other

Lovelyveg82 · 20/03/2023 07:45

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2023 07:33

I was just curious

Dd5 has had odd days off for ear ache and 48hrs for s&d

Plus last yr 3 days off each for covid - cp and tonsilitus

Reception had all 3 coming down after each other

Yes but unlike the OP I am guessing

you aren’t repeatedly late; and
You both to ring on day 2/3/4

Lovelyveg82 · 20/03/2023 07:45

Bother

discobrain · 20/03/2023 07:50

I'd have told them to go forth and multiply! Poor kid.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2023 08:56

@Lovelyveg82 indeed. Well I email. It's easier and they prob prefer that then answering the phone many times before 8am

Lovelyveg82 · 20/03/2023 09:33

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/03/2023 08:56

@Lovelyveg82 indeed. Well I email. It's easier and they prob prefer that then answering the phone many times before 8am

Whereas this OP was “busy all day on a workshop” so could squeeze in a 2 minute call and nor could her SAHD husband!

Lovelyveg82 · 20/03/2023 09:36

Could not squeeze in

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 13:28

My sons school tried to do this. He got very poorly in one school year and after having 97%+ attendance in every school year until then, was suddenly missing a lot of time. He was under the care of a hospital consultant having lots of bloods and scans to find out what was wrong and attending school when he could.

We kept the school up to date, provided medical evidence of his illness, but still they behaved like complete arseholes, only seeming to be bothered about attendance.

We got a phone call one day to say they were sending a welfare officer to our house and that they had to see our son. At this point he was sleeping 20 hours a day some days so I said they wouldn’t be seeing him as he was in bed ill. They said they had to see him as he hadn’t been seen by ‘a professional’ in a while. I told them that if they actually talked to each other, they would know that I had updated the school the previous day to say he had had yet another appointment yesterday with a consultant, ‘a professional’, and that I had already emailed evidence of this appointment to them. They agreed that as he had been seen by a medical professional, they didn’t need to see him. Great. All sorted.

2 hours later, a welfare officer turns up demanding to see our son. I told them he was asleep, I’d explained this to the school and he had been seen by a doctor the previous day so the school had agreed they didn’t need to see him.

She got very angry and demanded to be allowed in his bedroom to see him as he didn’t need to be awake. 🤔 I told her that there was no chance I was letting a stranger go into my sons bedroom to see him asleep and she told me I was being unnecessarily hostile. Damn fucking right I was being hostile. My partner told her to remove herself from our property and shut the door on her.

This was one of 3 visits we had in the end. I told them that if they had any concerns about our sons welfare then they should call the police and social services because they were not coming in our sons bedroom to look at him sleep. Of course they didn’t call the police or SS because there were no welfare concerns, we were engaged parents, there had never been any real concern, our children are loved and cared for, we were actively seeking private medical help to speed up diagnosis and treatment and were keeping the school informed. In the end they had 3 different doctors provide ‘evidence’ that he was sick.

Over the entire year our son was ill, the conversations with school were horrendous. I had a member of the SLT tell me that I should let them into my sons bedroom to ‘view’ him and if it was his child he would absolutely let them. More fool him.

CecilyP · 20/03/2023 13:39

Whereas this OP was “busy all day on a workshop” so could squeeze in a 2 minute call and nor could her SAHD husband!

But why should they unless you think there is a special kind of chicken pox that is miraculously better in a day. Wouldn’t parents who have something to hide be as likely to cover their tracks with regular updates. And as for lateness what has that got to do with anything. OP is always there by 9 am so more an indication of traffic than a chaotic lifestyle.

User4891 · 20/03/2023 13:45

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 13:28

My sons school tried to do this. He got very poorly in one school year and after having 97%+ attendance in every school year until then, was suddenly missing a lot of time. He was under the care of a hospital consultant having lots of bloods and scans to find out what was wrong and attending school when he could.

We kept the school up to date, provided medical evidence of his illness, but still they behaved like complete arseholes, only seeming to be bothered about attendance.

We got a phone call one day to say they were sending a welfare officer to our house and that they had to see our son. At this point he was sleeping 20 hours a day some days so I said they wouldn’t be seeing him as he was in bed ill. They said they had to see him as he hadn’t been seen by ‘a professional’ in a while. I told them that if they actually talked to each other, they would know that I had updated the school the previous day to say he had had yet another appointment yesterday with a consultant, ‘a professional’, and that I had already emailed evidence of this appointment to them. They agreed that as he had been seen by a medical professional, they didn’t need to see him. Great. All sorted.

2 hours later, a welfare officer turns up demanding to see our son. I told them he was asleep, I’d explained this to the school and he had been seen by a doctor the previous day so the school had agreed they didn’t need to see him.

She got very angry and demanded to be allowed in his bedroom to see him as he didn’t need to be awake. 🤔 I told her that there was no chance I was letting a stranger go into my sons bedroom to see him asleep and she told me I was being unnecessarily hostile. Damn fucking right I was being hostile. My partner told her to remove herself from our property and shut the door on her.

This was one of 3 visits we had in the end. I told them that if they had any concerns about our sons welfare then they should call the police and social services because they were not coming in our sons bedroom to look at him sleep. Of course they didn’t call the police or SS because there were no welfare concerns, we were engaged parents, there had never been any real concern, our children are loved and cared for, we were actively seeking private medical help to speed up diagnosis and treatment and were keeping the school informed. In the end they had 3 different doctors provide ‘evidence’ that he was sick.

Over the entire year our son was ill, the conversations with school were horrendous. I had a member of the SLT tell me that I should let them into my sons bedroom to ‘view’ him and if it was his child he would absolutely let them. More fool him.

So you would rather create tonnes of extra work and concern for ss who would definitely need to see your child once concern was raised, sleeping or not than let a trained professional have a quick peek at your son having a sleep. Is there any real reason you were so ridiculously precious about a perfectly reasonable welfare procedure? I bet you're the first out there with fire and pitchforks whenever a child is seriously failed by ss as well....

Yoyo2021 · 20/03/2023 13:46

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 13:28

My sons school tried to do this. He got very poorly in one school year and after having 97%+ attendance in every school year until then, was suddenly missing a lot of time. He was under the care of a hospital consultant having lots of bloods and scans to find out what was wrong and attending school when he could.

We kept the school up to date, provided medical evidence of his illness, but still they behaved like complete arseholes, only seeming to be bothered about attendance.

We got a phone call one day to say they were sending a welfare officer to our house and that they had to see our son. At this point he was sleeping 20 hours a day some days so I said they wouldn’t be seeing him as he was in bed ill. They said they had to see him as he hadn’t been seen by ‘a professional’ in a while. I told them that if they actually talked to each other, they would know that I had updated the school the previous day to say he had had yet another appointment yesterday with a consultant, ‘a professional’, and that I had already emailed evidence of this appointment to them. They agreed that as he had been seen by a medical professional, they didn’t need to see him. Great. All sorted.

2 hours later, a welfare officer turns up demanding to see our son. I told them he was asleep, I’d explained this to the school and he had been seen by a doctor the previous day so the school had agreed they didn’t need to see him.

She got very angry and demanded to be allowed in his bedroom to see him as he didn’t need to be awake. 🤔 I told her that there was no chance I was letting a stranger go into my sons bedroom to see him asleep and she told me I was being unnecessarily hostile. Damn fucking right I was being hostile. My partner told her to remove herself from our property and shut the door on her.

This was one of 3 visits we had in the end. I told them that if they had any concerns about our sons welfare then they should call the police and social services because they were not coming in our sons bedroom to look at him sleep. Of course they didn’t call the police or SS because there were no welfare concerns, we were engaged parents, there had never been any real concern, our children are loved and cared for, we were actively seeking private medical help to speed up diagnosis and treatment and were keeping the school informed. In the end they had 3 different doctors provide ‘evidence’ that he was sick.

Over the entire year our son was ill, the conversations with school were horrendous. I had a member of the SLT tell me that I should let them into my sons bedroom to ‘view’ him and if it was his child he would absolutely let them. More fool him.

hug

That sounds terrifying. I think you a hundred percent did the right thing!!!

I would not let someone into my
child's room at all especially a complete stranger they have never met before unless it was a doctor!!!!

I do understand the need for safeguarding but honestly!

fairycakes1234 · 20/03/2023 13:50

@Lovelyveg82 what is your problem with the OP that you have to keep going on and on and on, its embarrassing.

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 13:55

fairycakes1234 · 20/03/2023 13:50

@Lovelyveg82 what is your problem with the OP that you have to keep going on and on and on, its embarrassing.

@Lovelyveg82 is replying to comments. It’s sort of the point of this platform.

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 14:10

User4891 · 20/03/2023 13:45

So you would rather create tonnes of extra work and concern for ss who would definitely need to see your child once concern was raised, sleeping or not than let a trained professional have a quick peek at your son having a sleep. Is there any real reason you were so ridiculously precious about a perfectly reasonable welfare procedure? I bet you're the first out there with fire and pitchforks whenever a child is seriously failed by ss as well....

Show quote history

No, I would rather the school used common sense.

My child had been attending school regularly for 11 years before this happened. He was in year 10, age 15 when he became ill. There were zero concerns before this. He was a happy child, with extremely engaged parents. He was achieving well at school, took part in trips, duke of Edinburgh award, we always attended parents evening, called whenever he was ill and got involved in school life. Our other child was at school throughout this time, obviously.

Throughout his illness, he was attending school when he could so they did see him. He had regular hospital appointments for checkups and tests, our son spoke to the pastoral team about these when in school. He was very distressed about being ill and missing GCSE work. He was being seen ‘by professionals’, his doctors, most weeks. We provided a shit load of ‘evidence’ that he was ill.

So no, I won’t let a stranger into my 15 year old sons bedroom while he sleeps. I did ask my son after the first visit and he said we were not to let them go into his room whilst he was asleep. He was fine to see them if he was awake and up, but as that was sometimes only 2-4 hours a day and rarely daytime, that wasn’t likely.

A reason why I was ridiculously precious? Yes, my son is entitled to privacy in his bedroom. We were all facing the prospect in the first few months that he was seriously ill. So yes, I’ll be a bit fucking precious and protective of my son!

The school were never concerned about my sons welfare. They wanted me to get him out of bed and drive him to school to be ‘viewed’ 2 days after having a brain scan to check if he had a brain tumour. They were fully aware of this, so my attitude is that they can fuck off. They didn’t give a shit what he or we were dealing with, just their fucking attendance score!

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 14:16

Yoyo2021 · 20/03/2023 13:46

hug

That sounds terrifying. I think you a hundred percent did the right thing!!!

I would not let someone into my
child's room at all especially a complete stranger they have never met before unless it was a doctor!!!!

I do understand the need for safeguarding but honestly!

Show quote history

Thank you.

I also understand the need for safeguarding, but in our situation, it just wasn’t appropriate. A couple of members of staff did apologise on the phone to me and my partner, they felt embarrassed at what we were being put through when they knew our circumstances. We were under so much strain for a few months and they really only cared about ticking their boxes.

fairycakes1234 · 20/03/2023 14:20

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 13:55

@Lovelyveg82 is replying to comments. It’s sort of the point of this platform.

Show quote history

@GrinAndVomit shes relentless, so much so the OP wont engage with her, rightly so.

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:25

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 14:16

Thank you.

I also understand the need for safeguarding, but in our situation, it just wasn’t appropriate. A couple of members of staff did apologise on the phone to me and my partner, they felt embarrassed at what we were being put through when they knew our circumstances. We were under so much strain for a few months and they really only cared about ticking their boxes.

Show quote history

I understand how stressful this must have been for you but safeguarding works much better if you follow the protocol regardless of how nice the family are.@

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:27

fairycakes1234 · 20/03/2023 14:20

@GrinAndVomit shes relentless, so much so the OP wont engage with her, rightly so.

Show quote history

Of all the things people can relentlessly bang on about, safeguarding is not the one I’m going to condemn them for.

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 14:35

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:25

I understand how stressful this must have been for you but safeguarding works much better if you follow the protocol regardless of how nice the family are.@

Show quote history

Nope.

I asked the school who needed to see him. They confirmed this could be anyone in a professional capacity, so teachers, school staff, welfare team, GP, consultant, etc. He was being seen regularly. Between days he attended school bring seen by staff and days he was seeing his consultant/nurse/blood team etc, he was being seen enough. The school were just aggressive about attendance. My friend is a head teacher and said it was not appropriate and she would not have done it in our circumstances.

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:37

BalletBoss · 20/03/2023 14:35

Nope.

I asked the school who needed to see him. They confirmed this could be anyone in a professional capacity, so teachers, school staff, welfare team, GP, consultant, etc. He was being seen regularly. Between days he attended school bring seen by staff and days he was seeing his consultant/nurse/blood team etc, he was being seen enough. The school were just aggressive about attendance. My friend is a head teacher and said it was not appropriate and she would not have done it in our circumstances.

Show quote history

She might not but your school did. That’s how they choose to monitor attendance and safeguarding.

fairycakes1234 · 20/03/2023 14:39

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:27

Of all the things people can relentlessly bang on about, safeguarding is not the one I’m going to condemn them for.

Show quote history

@GrinAndVomit exactly, you are spot on...bang on, and on and on...

Floomobal · 20/03/2023 14:41

GrinAndVomit · 20/03/2023 14:37

She might not but your school did. That’s how they choose to monitor attendance and safeguarding.

Show quote history

I’d be more concerned for the welfare of a child who had parents that would allow strangers into their homes, to observe their children sleeping.

It doesn’t show sound judgment about boundaries