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Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
Missingpop · 17/03/2023 19:46

I’ve never heard of a teacher coming out to a child’s home definitely not a primary school aged child; the truancy officer used to go out when kids were off frequently when I was at secondary school but that was way back in the 80’s.
Are you 100% certain she was a school teacher; do you actually know her from the school? I would call the school & ask a few questions about the visit; because if your child has chickenpox there must be others in the school who have it too; if this isn’t actually a school teacher you need to inform the police.

Usernumber74736263 · 17/03/2023 19:56

Not unheard of, I’ve heard of similar before but not every school do this, in fact most do not. Each school has different policies but honestly if you had told them it was chicken pox it is OTT. Chicken pox is rife right now.

my kids don’t get poorly too often but when they do a virus could knock them for six and be off for a week. I’d be mortified if anyone from the school turned up.

I don’t think it’s a personal thing for you. The school clearly have some wacky policy about checking out kids that have been off for a few days. I get it for whatever reason a child was vulnerable for turning up for most children is ridiculous.

JudgeRudy · 17/03/2023 19:56

FannyFifer · 16/03/2023 11:05

I would find that really odd.

Me too. They would not be getting an invite in.

Pubesofsoberness · 17/03/2023 20:02

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 17/03/2023 19:03

Does my head in when people say 'complain' and 'so intrusive and bang out of order' but then those same people complain about vulnerable children being missed or falling through the cracks. You aren't exempt! We can't know children aren't vulnerable if we don't have that contact and sight of them

Same, some people are ridiculous. If it was me I'd think they had something to hide

JudgeRudy · 17/03/2023 20:06

We've all said nasty stuff in the moment but it's odd how he almost tries to justify it, then tells you he feels suicidal. Next day he's angry.
How does you generally communicate? Does he struggle to express himself. I'm actually gonna go against the grain and say that he's very very unhappy and desperate. He needs something to change and he doesn't know how to make it happen. I predict some stomping off (overnight?) with no contact or he'll smash/throw something in a rage.
If you think you're marriage is worth saving speak to him calmly and just give him the opportunity to tell you how he's feeling. I find men often prefer 'what's going through your head?'. If you're frightened, lost hope, exhausted and just sick and tired....plan to leave.

JudgeRudy · 17/03/2023 20:07

Oops, wrong thread...ignore last post!

OliveTree75 · 17/03/2023 20:14

I’m a primary school teacher and this would happen at my school for persistent absentees. Or a welfare check if safeguarding concerns. If it was a one off illness then no.

Crumpetdisappointment · 17/03/2023 20:17

you should be glad they care op

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 20:19

I’m surprised you even let her in. I’d have told her I was busy looking after a sick child and she should go back to work.

According to another thread on MN teachers have no free time and have to make phone calls after 9pm. Yet this teacher had time to make a house visit???

toomuchlaundry · 17/03/2023 20:28

@AcornGreen did you not read it was not a teacher

Posters who think this is wrong have not provided other ways that schools could identify vulnerable children, how schools can help children that are being abused at home, or do you think schools shouldn’t do anything just in case they may upset you as an innocent parent? Do you think it is easy to spot a vulnerable child?

Wonderfulstuff · 17/03/2023 20:32

toomuchlaundry · 17/03/2023 19:12

@Wonderfulstuff so what do you suggest instead?

What do you say when there is another report in the papers about vulnerable children, how do you think they are identified, with a big sticker on their head?

No obviously not. But is it really the case that a 5 yo child who has had one previous day off sick in the school year is a safe guarding concern because they've had a 2nd period of absence due to chicken pox... with no other flags and older sister in school?

UndertheCedartree · 17/03/2023 20:33

My DDs school do this if they've 'not been seen' for 3 days. It pees me off because no, my sick DD does not want to come to the door when it's freezing cold and she's in bed.

UndertheCedartree · 17/03/2023 20:35

AcornGreen · 17/03/2023 20:19

I’m surprised you even let her in. I’d have told her I was busy looking after a sick child and she should go back to work.

According to another thread on MN teachers have no free time and have to make phone calls after 9pm. Yet this teacher had time to make a house visit???

Presumably, it is a pastoral care teacher not a teaching one. That's who comes round from my DD's school.

Spinninggyro · 17/03/2023 20:37

Better that teachers or school staff check on 1000 children who are off legitimately than miss one where there is genuinely an issue.

toomuchlaundry · 17/03/2023 20:37

@Wonderfulstuff one child in a family can be abused whilst another child is fine

NickyT64 · 17/03/2023 20:39

4 weeks of chickenpox????? How is that possible? A month of school with chickenpox? Now THAT’S unusual!!!

SharonKaren · 17/03/2023 20:43

Unusual and sorry must've been a nuisance, but I think this is a good thing, considering all recent child abuse cases. I wish someone had visited Arthur Labinjo 's home.

LondonQueen · 17/03/2023 20:45

My school (and all schools in this particular trust) has a policy to do a home visit after two days. This often isn't followed through unless the family is known to SS or there's a particular risk, but the policy is there. It's usually a DSL that completes the visits here rather than teaching staff, I certainly wouldn't want to have to do them!

MumofSpud · 17/03/2023 20:46

Normal here - but first we knew about it was returning from holiday and there was a card through our letterbox from the school saying that they had called when we were out.
I had rung in lied about my DD being ill for 2 days.
But maybe I had mucked up the time difference a bit
In my defence it was v educational for her (Japan)
But I suppose schools make home visits because if parents like meBlush

Nowdontmakeamess · 17/03/2023 20:49

Emma2023 · 17/03/2023 19:20

This this this!!! How is no one else getting it, they are your children, not the schools and certainly never the government’s. I’d have told them to go away in no uncertain terms.

Show quote history

So in that case parents can do whatever vile things they want to them? Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility, and if a school adopting this policy identifies and saves just one child from a life of abuse/death it will be worth it.
Something has to change, every week there’s a new case reported and the response is always “why didn’t someone stop them?” Well it appears the answer is because it would be too inconvenient or offensive, or not their business.

ILoveEYFS · 17/03/2023 20:57

Unfortunately it is becoming more and more common. Domestic violence is on the increase sadly. Children are kept off "ill" to hide the injuries. It will have nothing to do with you @CandlelightGlow and everything to do with ticking a box. In the majority of cases, we find nothing but if it means we can stop just 1 child being abused, then it is worth it.

Marleymoo42 · 17/03/2023 20:59

Likely a school tackling low attendance who adopted this new approach to deal with persistent low attendance from other families. They obviously have to be consistent and after 4 days every family gets a visit. Day 4 also is a good indicator of a holiday...I worked at a school where two families took holidays and this effected the attendance data enough for the school to drop from Outstanding to Good.

Dont let it worry you if attendance has never been a concern before. It is designed to protect a handful of other children whose families are regularly keeping them off school, allowing them to fall behind and negatively effecting the schools inspection rating. Attendance is a huge issue which schools are held entirely responsible for improving. People often get upset with schools for dealing insensitivity with time off school but should really take their issues up with ofsted who have created this situation.

Sorry the teacher made you feel rubbish but I wouldn't give it another thought. If they have an issue with your child's attendance you will know about it!

GrinAndVomit · 17/03/2023 20:59

Hi,
I worked in schools before having children (both secondary and primary) and it was one of my jobs to do this very thing. We had low school attendance and the head was very keen to change that.
I wouldn’t take it personally.
I hope your son feels better soon ☺️

PurpleFlower1983 · 17/03/2023 21:00

We do home visits regularly at our school. Learning mentors go out.

Tigerstotty · 17/03/2023 21:01

Speaking as someone who works in a school and deals with attendance, this is unusual unless they have concerns already about child's attendance or the childs home life. They absolutely would do a home visit if they had concerns. Normally with chickenpox it is 5 - 7 days or more before spots have crusted over (when child is no longer infectious) so they should update registers accordingly. I would defo query this! It seems a tad too soon to be doing a home visit for this. But maybe ask about the other and why they felt the need to visit.