Is there a good time

[Coatsoff42]

AIBU to ask, is there a generally acceptable time to call someone at home? I am rubbish at texting and never want to interrupt people in their busy lives, is there a generally acceptable time to call someone in the evening? Like an ‘open to callers’ type time?

Can you not just text them to ask if it's an ok time for you to call??

I have no issue being contacted up till about 10pm although my sisters might call later. After that I always feel like the phone ringing would be bringing bad news!

WinterMusings Yes, you could text, but like is it reasonable after school run and before a box set, what is everyone’s parameters…

I'd say 8:30pm unless prearranged. Any time after that is getting into "why are they calling, who has died" territory

8.30pm, yes fair call. I don’t want to text a serious ‘can we talk’ thing, just a spontaneous call for a logistical reason, or just to say hi. Is it really weird to just ring in the evening?

A couple of thoughts.

A. REALLY depends on the other person's family dynamic..

My DD is a student... any time equally as good or rubbish.
Young/single/working, might go out in the evening.
Parent of a baby/toddler... whatever their routine is
Parent of young child, busy with dinner/bed-time, might go to bed early
Parent of a primary age child, same but later
Etc, etc

B. If its a serious conversation, might they appreciate a heads up it's happening?

It’s also a generational thing, in my experience. Over 50: calls are lovely. Under 35: calls are absolutely bloody terrifying.

Yes, I am worried about calling and freaking people out, but also rubbish at texting, much better at talking, I am hoping there is a magic socially acceptable time to call most people (not working shifts) to say hi and sort things out. Is there not some lovely 6.30 - 8.30 pm range where everyone would be pleased/unsurprised to get a random phone call? Mind, everyone has mobiles so you can’t call the house and everyone could be everywhere all of the time.

I think between 7pm and 9pm would be fine to call someone.

I was ‘brought up’ to never call someone before 9am or after 9pm, in terms of what is polite.

(Although siblings/ I we would call each other anytime if needed).

After 9am and before 9pm.

Deduct an hour each side if calling young teenager or elderly.

Deduct the entire morning for mid to late teens 😂

Agree with this .

It totally depends on who you are calling. They could still be in work at 10pm. They might just be getting up at 8pm for a night shift. They could have really young children and not want a call at any point in the evening, or they may not have any children at all and not want a call in the evening.

There is no 'suitable time', but most people will probably have their phone on silent if they don't want to be disturbed.

It's really about knowing who you are phoning, and the reason, I suppose.

My parameters are, call me when I'm on the school run, morning or afternoon (both are different times to normal school times)
Tuesday between 9 and 9:30 am,
Wednesday between 8am and 9am
Or any evening between 5pm and 6pm.

In the evening I'll be on loud speaker and preparing the families dinner, and the other times I'll be driving but I literally don't have the time to stop so I factor in my calls with people when I've got long stretches of time in the car for hands free calls

Unless it's urgent, I always pre-arrange a mutually convenient time for a call.

If the phone rings here after 9.00 I'd be thinking what has happened now. We eat early so after 6.30 is no issue most evenings.

Impossible question. Everyones lives are so different. People have routines with children - clubs, bath time, dinner time, bed time... these totally vary.

Id rather a text asking if they can call at a convenient time

These days I always prearrange a voice call. I haven't rung anyone spontaneously for a chat since about 2003.

I hate people calling without prearranging.

I especially hate it when I text someone and they then call me. If I wanted to actually talk I would have called and not text. I don’t answer

You always run the risk of getting in the way if you don't prebook.

If someone rings me after 8, I panic thinking something has happened unless DP is out etc then it's expected.

The only person I don't prebook with is my mum but she's the type that will turn up at your house unannounced. Gasp.

Send a text "Are you free for a chat? Nothing urgent" and then you'll know. If I know someone wants to call, I can make pretty much anytime work.

For an unarranged call, I prefer daytime calls that aren't right at crucial school times, so avoiding 8.15-9/ 3.15-3.45. If I'm on a work call then I only answer the school, and if I'm not on a call then I can usually talk for 10 minutes. For daytime calls, always call away from meeting start times, so 9.05-9.20 / 9.35-9.50 is fine, if I pick up I'm free until 9.30, but don't call at 9.27 / 9.57 because I might pick up but only be free until 10 so I'm just answering to rearrange the call time. For evening calls, any call 4.45 until bedtime is more likely than not to be disruptive if it's for more than 5 minutes. The sweet spot here would be just after DS goes to sleep, but his times vary from 6.30 to 7.15. From about 8 we'll be watching TV, eating or listening to music together, so an unexpected call would disrupt that. Any call after 9 would worry me that something's happened.

Definitely not after 9pm. I have an elderly relative who has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers. He tends to ring me after 9pm and last time it was 10.30pm and I was actually asleep. I used to panic when I had a late call, now I automatically think it's him. Not sure which is better!

Also 9-9, but if you intend to talk for an hour not as late as 9pm

It really depends on the person so why not just say “when is a good time to call” and make a note of it if different people like different times. I used to work on a freelance basis with a lovely woman who would usually phone me in the evening if we had worked together that day to dissect the day. She would drive home, shower, pour herself a glass of wine and settle down for a chat at 6.30-7, she lived on her own. I had two kids who I had to collect from childcare/after school care on the way home, feed and sort out so that was witching hour. After the first couple of times I had to be firm and say I can talk between 8-8.30, no earlier no later. Once I explained she understood.

No one can answer your question in relation to the people you want to phone because we don't know them and what they have going on in their lives. If you know them well enough to phone them it would seem sensible to ask them while on the phone or when you next see them what would be a generally convenient time to phone for a chat. A quick text asking when they are free for a chat would be good too, not sure why you find texting to ask a big deal. A good time for people to call will be different for everyone, just ask who you want to talk to and make a note if you need to.