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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel embarrassed he didn’t know my name?

67 replies

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 15:52

I work in a team of 16 people, I’ve been in it for just over a year. I had a meeting with one of them and he didn’t even know my name and kept going between my actual name and an incorrect one. So think Georgia and then changed it to Georgina and back again

Other people were in that meeting and I just felt humiliated

OP posts:

JimJammies · 15/03/2023 15:56

I think he should be the one feeling bad.

IamSmarticus · 15/03/2023 15:57

No reason for you to feel hmiliated. I would have just pointed ot (politely) that he was using the wrong name.

Corcomroe · 15/03/2023 15:58

JimJammies · 15/03/2023 15:56

I think he should be the one feeling bad.

Exactly! Correct him civilly but firmly. This is on him, not you.

redskylight · 15/03/2023 15:58

So why didn't you (or any other person at the meeting) point out that your name was actually "Georgia"?

Is that why you were embarrassed? That no one spoke up?

PinkyFlamingo · 15/03/2023 15:59

Why didn't you say anything?

Original poster

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 16:02

PinkyFlamingo · 15/03/2023 15:59

Why didn't you say anything?

Because he kept switching between the two. First time I just let it go and then he called me my actual name and then switched back when the call was ending.

OP posts:

Original poster

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 16:04

redskylight · 15/03/2023 15:58

So why didn't you (or any other person at the meeting) point out that your name was actually "Georgia"?

Is that why you were embarrassed? That no one spoke up?

Why would I be embarrassed about that, I don’t expect anyone to speak up for me. Plus those in the meeting are quite new so likely wouldn’t have the confidence to correct a senior at the moment.

OP posts:

Jujuj · 15/03/2023 16:28

My god just speak up.

WeepingSomnambulist · 15/03/2023 16:32

I dont know any man who would have sat there and allowed that.

Speak up. You have a voice. Use it. Stop playing the part of the meek, retiring shy woman.

Mamamia7962 · 15/03/2023 17:15

I would have just found it funny if someone kept getting my name wrong, especially if I'd already corrected them. More for him to be embarrassed about than you.

LlynTegid · 15/03/2023 17:19

You should correct anyone regardless of status. Just good manners to remember and pronounce a name correctly.

PizzaPastaWine · 15/03/2023 17:28

How closely do you work with each other? Unless it was said maliciously I wouldn't be offended. If it's close I'd make a joke about it a lighthearted way.

I have certain people that I always call by the wrong name, even people that are friends. I can't explain why it happens but it does. Both my DM and DS do the same so perhaps there is some link to dyslexia.

BigFatLiar · 15/03/2023 17:29

Depends on roles and how often you interact. If you've not corrected him before its not surprising he may get it wrong.

OH was telling me about going for an annual appraisal, had to go to the main office. His manager didn't refer to him by name just hello etc. The appraisal wasn't very good and hhen he realised it wasn't his work. He waited until it was over znd HD had to sign to sign and say it was complete, in the comments he added that he wasn't the person this appraisal was for and the manager obviously had no idea who his staff actually were or did. (He also wrote to HR).

Kingsize · 15/03/2023 17:30

I put YABU because its not for you to be embaressed that he cant remember people's names!

AdoraBell · 15/03/2023 17:33

It’s entirely him wrong and you shouldn’t be humiliated by this.

I would have corrected him twice and then used random names for him if he kept doing it.

redskylight · 15/03/2023 17:35

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 16:04

Why would I be embarrassed about that, I don’t expect anyone to speak up for me. Plus those in the meeting are quite new so likely wouldn’t have the confidence to correct a senior at the moment.

Show quote history

Well you were embarrassed that he got your name wrong which (to me) is more inexplicable.

People get my name wrong all the time (even people I've known for years). I correct them and we move on. No embarrassment necessary.

ShimmeringShirts · 15/03/2023 17:36

Tbh I’d probably struggle to remember someone’s name in a team of 16 (exceedingly bad at names), but he should have at least asked you if he wasn’t clear on it.

Cosyblankets · 15/03/2023 17:36

I would have just told him.

Topseyt123 · 15/03/2023 17:38

Just speak up and correct him.

JorisBonson · 15/03/2023 17:38

"sorry John, my name is actually Georgia".

End.

No need to stress or post on the internet.

MrsDoylesDoily · 15/03/2023 17:40

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 16:04

Why would I be embarrassed about that, I don’t expect anyone to speak up for me. Plus those in the meeting are quite new so likely wouldn’t have the confidence to correct a senior at the moment.

Show quote history

'Correct a senior' 🙄

God I hate that shit. A human being made an error, just correct them, they're not going to bludgeon you to death with a stapler.

Brightshinylight · 15/03/2023 17:43

I worked in a department where the head was actually someone who I had known for over 15 years. She kept getting my name wrong in meetings - not even close. Think if my name was Ann, she called me Kate. Admittedly there was a Kate in a different department but we did not look similar at all.

i would just say Kate is not in this meeting but Ann is.

Verylongtime · 15/03/2023 17:44

But why were you humiliated? You didn’t do anything to be humiliated by. Can you explain why you felt humiliated? People sometimes get my name wrong and I have worked in the same place for 15 years. It doesn’t matter. A typo, a slip of the tongue, muddling you up for a moment with a colleague with a similar name. They usually correct themselves if they’ve realised.

Dogstar78 · 15/03/2023 17:50

I think you might work with my partner....although he might have called you something completely different. I cringe when he tells me what he has done. I think it is really rude, not funny. It's not hard, especially when your name is permanently next to your face if you do a lot of video calls.

Dogstar78 · 15/03/2023 17:53

Pressed send by accident. Like others have said just correct them. Sometimes people call me a version of my name, to be honest, it doesn't really bother me and it's just a mistake. My partner is rude as I don't think he tries to remember people's names!

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