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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel embarrassed he didn’t know my name?

67 replies

OnAgainOffAgain · 15/03/2023 15:52

I work in a team of 16 people, I’ve been in it for just over a year. I had a meeting with one of them and he didn’t even know my name and kept going between my actual name and an incorrect one. So think Georgia and then changed it to Georgina and back again

Other people were in that meeting and I just felt humiliated

OP posts:

PizzaPastaWine · 15/03/2023 20:52

schoolsoutforever · 15/03/2023 20:43

Toss pot men do this all the time. I don't think they generally mean offence. They're just arrogant and stupid. (disclaimer: this doesn't apply to all men, just the tosspot ones).

What an odd post.

I'm female and do this. I'm not arrogant and stupid.

MyMumsOnMN · 15/03/2023 20:52

Does he genuinely not know your name ? Maybe he was switching between the two because he knew it was one or the other and was hoping you (or someone) would say something?

I do find it weird that you didn't say anything. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Just a "oh sorry, X is my actual name" would have fixed it and it would have been less awkward.

WandaWonder · 15/03/2023 20:54

I will admit I would not have bothered me but if it did I would have just corrected him

I would not have felt humiliated or embarrassed or anything it is his problem not yours

Nooyoiknooyoik · 15/03/2023 20:57

A non-event. Lots of people are bad with names, especially as they get older.
Unless you’re his wife I wouldn’t think twice about it.

fruitbrewhaha · 15/03/2023 21:11

Eh? Why are you embarrassed that he got your name wrong? You should be embarrassed you didn’t correct him. It’s all a bit odd. Speak up. You now look silly for not saying which was your correct name. Presumably he was unsure and was hedging his bets and hoping for someone to confirm or deny.

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/03/2023 21:22

He's got the brain of a hen, so keep correcting him until he gets it right.

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 15/03/2023 21:29

If it helps, I once went in to a previous place of work for an appointment.
The appointment was with the Director of the company.
He made a comment along the lines of 'oh, you love it here so much you can't even keep away on your day off look, haha'

I hadn't worked there for 3 years 🙃

MustBeThursday · 15/03/2023 21:45

I worked with someone on and off who for months somehow thought my name was a completely different name - say "Jo" if my name was "Lucy". I answered to "Jo" any time I was on shift with her because I was too embarrassed to correct her after the first few times. Until a colleague said "what? Why are you calling her Jo? Her name is Lucy" and other colleague was bewildered because I'd answered to Jo for months without complaint.

Peachtoiletpaper · 15/03/2023 21:57

Just put him straight next time politely- smile and say 'Georgia' if he calls you Georgina. People often mix up similar sounding names- Alice/ Alison or Daniel/ David. It's not a massive personal slight.

Original poster

OnAgainOffAgain · 16/03/2023 12:09

Nooyoiknooyoik · 15/03/2023 20:57

A non-event. Lots of people are bad with names, especially as they get older.
Unless you’re his wife I wouldn’t think twice about it.

What a stupid comment. So it’s ok to just know your parents name but you can work with the same people for years and it’s fine if you don’t remember their name.

OP posts:

TheAudie · 16/03/2023 12:23

I really struggle with names and faces. It’s awful. I also struggle remembering other words too when speaking (but not when writing oddly enough). Perhaps he is similar

wombat1a · 16/03/2023 13:09

I wouldn't get too concerned about this, I'm awful with names, been in the same lab now for the last 3 years and regularly get the 3 mid-20s ladies mixed up. No problem with the older ones or any of the men but these 3 seem to change their hair/looks every month or so and I can't remember which one is which.

Wingedharpy · 16/03/2023 13:16

Well, he'll never know what your name is because you didn't tell him.

JudgeRudy · 16/03/2023 13:42

I don't feel you should be embarrassed he didn't know your name, I'd guess he's had minimal interaction with you. You probably knew/remembered his name because he's probably more outgoing than you and possibly there might be less men in your team.
I'm wondering if part of your 'unease' is that at some level you think l don't really blame him, and wish you were less 'invisible'. If this matters enough perhaps look at ways to be a bit more 'noticable' and be assertive enough to call him out for continually getting your name wrong. You could have joked that he sounded like your great aunt Hilda. In fact that could even become his nic name! Call him that each time he gets it wrong...respond Yes Aunt Hilda....

Sunspel · 16/03/2023 14:06

OnAgainOffAgain · 16/03/2023 12:09

What a stupid comment. So it’s ok to just know your parents name but you can work with the same people for years and it’s fine if you don’t remember their name.

Show quote history

I don't think this is a stupid comment - I think it is a reasonable comment.
It really isn't a big deal. I don't think anyone is trying to invalidate your feelings, they're trying to help you - otherwise why ask?

MobyJeff · 16/03/2023 14:14

I worked in an office for 3 years covering the weekends. One day I had to go to training during the week. The manager asked me if I was the cleaner.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 16/03/2023 16:51

Why are you embarrassed about this? He was the one who cocked up, not you.

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