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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

After school club "lost" my daugter.

59 replies

Nathalie1975 · 15/03/2023 09:45

My daugher (9) attends the after school club (ASC) which is run from the school by an external company. Her father picks her up any time between 4:30pm and 5:45 pm (closing time). I was in the bus coming home from work at around 5:50pm and I noticed I had several missed calls from ASC. My first thought was that maybe he forgot to pick her up and they were calling to ask where we were. So I call them back and a staff member asks me whether my daughter had been collected, what time and by whom. She said "that's just so I can update the register". I was taken aback and told her that I didn't know as I wasn't home yet but I assumed she had been collected by her dad as planned. Five minute later I get another call by a more senior staff asking me again to confirm my daughter had been collected. So I repeat that I don't know because I am not home yet but I could text my partner to ask him, but pretty sure he did collect her. I then receive a text from the same senior staff asking for my partner's phone number (which they already have on file) so they could check with him.
I thought maybe partner had somehow managed to collect daughter without notifying anyone (unlikely as you have to ring a bell and staff bring children to the door) but when I got home my partner and daughter both confirmed that a member of staff handed daughter over to him as usual.
The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I know the title of the thread is misleading because my daughter was safe at home the whole time but as far as ASC are concerned, they had no clue where she was so, really, they had "lost" her.
AIBU to think this was extremely unprofessional and the way they kept calling us is very bizarre?

OP posts:
ChestnutGrove · 15/03/2023 11:39

arethereanyleftatall · 15/03/2023 10:00

I'm disagreeing with the above posts - because they didn't actually lose her at all. She was handed over safely. They just thought they had due to miscommunication, and then started doing the right things to find her.
She hadn't been able to leave the building on her own.
I would leave this, they know they made a communication mistake and will be rectifying that.
As an aside, my sister in Norway, it's absolutely normal there for kids to walk home alone from about age 7.

Agree with this

SummerHouse · 15/03/2023 11:42

Someone didn't correctly note that a child had been collected I presume. I could not get worked up by this. At our ASC the parent signs against the child's name so it's kind of a joint responsibility (although it's the clubs responsibility ultimately and their problem if it's not done.)

Abraxan · 15/03/2023 11:49

Whilst not great and they did make a mistake here, they didn't lose your daughter.

I suspect what append is that the person who released your child to your partner forgot to complete the sign out sheet.

Then when starting to finish for the day someone else noticed the sign to sheet was incomplete and questioned it. The person who released your child then probably said - yeah, pretty sure they were collected by XXX. Asked are you sure, it isn't written down - they then would start to think they were sure, but cant nor be hundred percent sure, almost doubting themselves.

As they now cant be sure they need to follow it up and double check.

Your child was never lost.
Your child wasn't handed over to the wrong person.
Your child wasn't left to leave on their own.

It was an admin error which they needed to follow up and check, just incase.

Whilst not great, your child was never lost.

Original poster
Nathalie1975 · 15/03/2023 12:08

Abraxan · 15/03/2023 11:49

Whilst not great and they did make a mistake here, they didn't lose your daughter.

I suspect what append is that the person who released your child to your partner forgot to complete the sign out sheet.

Then when starting to finish for the day someone else noticed the sign to sheet was incomplete and questioned it. The person who released your child then probably said - yeah, pretty sure they were collected by XXX. Asked are you sure, it isn't written down - they then would start to think they were sure, but cant nor be hundred percent sure, almost doubting themselves.

As they now cant be sure they need to follow it up and double check.

Your child was never lost.
Your child wasn't handed over to the wrong person.
Your child wasn't left to leave on their own.

It was an admin error which they needed to follow up and check, just incase.

Whilst not great, your child was never lost.

I know. Hence the quote marks.

OP posts:
Sugargliderwombat · 15/03/2023 12:12

Hmm I'm on the fence about this, they handed her over safely and I know at school we don't tick them all off a list when they are collected, so I don't know that is "sloppy". As long as their setting is secure it might just be someone couldn't place who collected her and then doubted themselves, i think its really professional for them to call knowing how bad it looks.

SallyWD · 15/03/2023 12:33

I wouldn't be annoyed by this actually. She was safely handed over to your DH, maybe wasn't signed out on the register and then they wanted to double check. They must have forgotten who she'd gone with. I know it's not ideal but the fact is she WAS handed to her dad. I'm sure they wouldn't have handed her to a stranger and she wouldn't have gone with a stranger.
If I was you, I would have called DH the first time they called just to check. It would have saved them calling again.

Deadringer · 15/03/2023 12:47

What a fuss about nothing. Someone forgot to tick your child's name off a list and other staff rang to check it out, that's it. They didn't hand the child over to the wrong person, or lose her. Big whoop.

Original poster
Nathalie1975 · 15/03/2023 13:15

Lackersknackers · 15/03/2023 11:32

How many people on this thread haven’t bothered to read the opening post properly?!

Its all in the opening post that they have her partners number on file and that they rang her to ask for it again despite having it so she knew who and when they had contacted.

People on this thread are desperate to pick holes with the OP and make her the bad guy when she has come on to say ‘This feels a bit odd, should I be concerned?’ Just say no if you don’t agree she should be concerned, stop being desperate to make the OP out to be a terrible mother because she didn’t fly into a panic or find something to criticise her for. read the post properly and then advise on her question instead of trying to find fault with her.

This forum.

Show quote history

Thank you. That's fine though. It is AIBU afterall. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. Posters have made some good points as to why they had to keep calling until they had confirmation she was home. I am still not impressed by them having to ask us where our daughter was. I am actually genuinely surprised a majority here think it is not a big deal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nathalie1975 · 15/03/2023 13:20

SummerHouse · 15/03/2023 11:42

Someone didn't correctly note that a child had been collected I presume. I could not get worked up by this. At our ASC the parent signs against the child's name so it's kind of a joint responsibility (although it's the clubs responsibility ultimately and their problem if it's not done.)

yes it used to work like that at our ASC too before the pandemic. But now parents are not allowed in any more so we have to collect at the door.

OP posts:
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