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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parents of university age children never got ANY free childcare

378 replies

Cliff1975 · 15/03/2023 08:05

Whilst it is great that the government has finally realised that free childcare is needed those of us with university age children did not benefit from this and we are now supporting them through uni at great expense. Maybe once these kids who are getting free childcare get to uni that will be free too? Just can't help feeling that we are missing out from all angles?

OP posts:
faffadoodledo · 15/03/2023 08:09

While this is true, I don't think it's an argument not to civilise our society. I'm older than you I think, OP - my children are beyond university. So no childcare help and no paternal leave whatsoever (maybe two days - I can't remember!). But still I don't begrudge them.
After all I had 'free' university education even if my children didn't.
We need to think societally not individually

nurseynursery · 15/03/2023 08:10

Maybe they will. It will be better for society as a whole. They can't prevent progress for selfish reasons like this. With rising costs of everything this is necessary to keep mums in work. Without this the poorer families couldn't work. I did have a minute of envy when I saw about the free childcare but that's just life and the luck of when you/ your children are born. They'll probably have a lot less of a health service than we had and I know what I'd prefer.

gemloving · 15/03/2023 08:11

I don't understand the negativity around it. Positive change for the future.

Why can same sex couples now be married? Because we fought for their right. Positive change, people were imprisoned until 1968.

Why can women vote? Because others sacrificed themselves for that right.

Why do most women have the rights they have now, because us women didn't and they fought for it and I will always thank the previous generations for their hard work.

It's not personal, it's about the bigger picture and positive change for future generations and especially working women.

LiftyLift · 15/03/2023 08:13

It’s not a race to the bottom.

You would have benefited from cheaper house prices than people getting on the ladder now as they have young kids.

Theunamedcat · 15/03/2023 08:13

I was unable to work full stop and reliant on benefits my dd has just finished university and she had to take full loans out as my finances never recovered

I can sort of see where they are coming from had I been working all along I would have been supporting her more financially and costing them less

Iam4eels · 15/03/2023 08:13

We shouldn't stop progress just because previous generations didn't have what we have now. The house I grew up in didn't have central heating, should I shut off my radiators because my DC are benefiting from something I didn't have?

It benefits us as a society to have safe, affordable, high quality childcare that provides early education to young children. It benefits us as a society to have an active and varied workforce that includes working parents.

AuntieStella · 15/03/2023 08:15

Yes, because it was called the ELG, and billed as an Early Learning Grant and therefore universal. But based in preschools and nurseries

But the 15 hour entitlement existed - I have university age DC and received it.

FrenchandSaunders · 15/03/2023 08:16

I’m sure my two got free nursery hours at some point. They’re 22 now.

ichundich · 15/03/2023 08:17

Cliff1975 · 15/03/2023 08:05

Whilst it is great that the government has finally realised that free childcare is needed those of us with university age children did not benefit from this and we are now supporting them through uni at great expense. Maybe once these kids who are getting free childcare get to uni that will be free too? Just can't help feeling that we are missing out from all angles?

Life is not always fair. Your kids might have kids one day, so the free childcare will benefit them at least. University used to be free too.

cupofdecaf · 15/03/2023 08:17

It's progress even if I doubt they'll fund it properly. A recognition that childcare is central to getting / keeping parents in good carers.
What you did get was much cheaper housing, cheaper utilities and food. Better wages (higher buying power in terms of what wages could get you).
I don't agree with the high tuition fees and frankly don't think uni costs should be assumed to be anything to do with parents. Nothing else is after people turn 18 its bizarre (because the government don't want to fund higher education).
You also likely benefited from no uni tuition fees yourself unless you had children very young. Many people will still be repaying their own student loans when their kids go to uni and they're certainly still paying them now as well as high childcare costs.

Starflecked · 15/03/2023 08:17

This is always the case though, should we never make any progress as some people have missed out? Seems a bit of a bitter way to look at things.

Punxsutawney · 15/03/2023 08:18

My Ds's are 22 and 18 and we got 15 hours a week. If I remember rightly it wasn't until the term after their 3rd birthday. So not loads of help, but we definitely got something.

Neededanewuserhandle · 15/03/2023 08:18

Iam4eels · 15/03/2023 08:13

We shouldn't stop progress just because previous generations didn't have what we have now. The house I grew up in didn't have central heating, should I shut off my radiators because my DC are benefiting from something I didn't have?

It benefits us as a society to have safe, affordable, high quality childcare that provides early education to young children. It benefits us as a society to have an active and varied workforce that includes working parents.

^This - we really need to stop our race to the bottom thinking.

AuntieStella · 15/03/2023 08:18

FrenchandSaunders · 15/03/2023 08:16

I’m sure my two got free nursery hours at some point. They’re 22 now.

That's because they did!

The scheme was definitely available, for preschools and nurseries

OP is factually wrong

gemloving · 15/03/2023 08:18

@Iam4eels thank you.

DumbPrinceAndHisStupidWife · 15/03/2023 08:19

Parents of uni age children probably benefitted from free university themselves at least and also lower house prices when they first bought homes. Something which the parents of much younger children didn't benefit from.

If you can afford to support them through uni I would just feel grateful to be able to do it. I'm a single parent, no idea how I'd ever be able to do that.

daretodenim · 15/03/2023 08:19

I know what you mean OP. I think about the families who have struggled paying extortionate childcare plus all other modern costs, plus went through lockdowns and in September their youngest will start school! That must really burn!

Overall though, it seems like good that the govt has recognised the problem. However I think it would have been better to increase the free hours for 3 and 4 year olds to full time or have free wraparound care for primary age, rather than add more part time. It doesn't actually solve anybody's problem, it just makes it a bit less hard at one end, for those who want to be in work. Also, where are all the extra places actually going to be! There are already waiting lists!

x2boys · 15/03/2023 08:20

But that's just the way it is isn't it im nearly 50 my parents didn't get any child care ,there' were not even school.nurseries in the 70, i went to.a play school a couple of mornings a week ,times change!

Darhon · 15/03/2023 08:21

Cliff1975 · 15/03/2023 08:05

Whilst it is great that the government has finally realised that free childcare is needed those of us with university age children did not benefit from this and we are now supporting them through uni at great expense. Maybe once these kids who are getting free childcare get to uni that will be free too? Just can't help feeling that we are missing out from all angles?

My eldest DC is second year at Uni. I think they were one of the first cohorts to get the 15 hours free. If not, definitely got them for my now 17yo. I was also able to use childcare vouchers that were purchased before tax. Though these schemes were phased out, I think when the 30 hours came in.

philautia · 15/03/2023 08:22

The two are completely different. We are talking here about childcare for early years and adult further education.

Yes, while university is good for some professions, it is not necessary for many. I didn't go to university and I'm on the same excellent salary as the other people in my team who did. I learned everything they did from teaching myself using the internet.

In not allowing a parent to return to work due to cost of childcare, we are perpetuating the cycle of women (because it is usually the woman) having to cut back on work hours and or sacrificing her pension contributions.

Not to mention the amount of situation you read on here where the mother is a SAHM and either abused or left with nothing. Yes, there are many, many examples of a healthy relationship where one parent doesn't work, but those women are still sacrificing their careers.

Gremlinsuplate · 15/03/2023 08:22

Yes, let's make society harder for everyone that comes after us.

I'm off to chuck out my TV, sell my car, and put the loo in the shed, these youngsters have it too easy these days.

garlictwist · 15/03/2023 08:23

By that argument, no one got free childcare until now. I'm 42 and my parents had to pay nursery fees, holiday club fees and university fees for me. So surely it's good that we are changing these things.

AmandaHoldensLips · 15/03/2023 08:23

I too got bugger all, and I got sacked for being pregnant. It was absolutely shite back then with no help at all. Looking back, I don't know how I managed to scrape through.

But I think it's a GOOD THING that mothers are able to access more support now. The motherhood penalty is still outrageous.

Changes17 · 15/03/2023 08:24

Well, when your kids have kids hopefully there will still be free childcare and they won’t need to draft you in for a day a week!

Ponoka7 · 15/03/2023 08:25

That saying repeated on here from a Hindu who had been in the UK one year was very true " in India if my neighbour has a goat, I pray that I will get one. In the UK, I prey that my neighbour's goat will die".
It's thinking like this that stopped real change when Thatcher was taking on the Unions. We could have had a European model, instead it took nearly two decades for maternity leave, good pensions for all, the Disability discrimination act etc.