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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents of university age children never got ANY free childcare

378 replies

Cliff1975 · 15/03/2023 08:05

Whilst it is great that the government has finally realised that free childcare is needed those of us with university age children did not benefit from this and we are now supporting them through uni at great expense. Maybe once these kids who are getting free childcare get to uni that will be free too? Just can't help feeling that we are missing out from all angles?

OP posts:
cptartapp · 15/03/2023 08:55

Mine are 18 and 20 and we did (eventually) get some help. Still cost thousands, many many thousands.

ReneBumsWombats · 15/03/2023 08:55

Ponoka7 · 15/03/2023 08:25

That saying repeated on here from a Hindu who had been in the UK one year was very true " in India if my neighbour has a goat, I pray that I will get one. In the UK, I prey that my neighbour's goat will die".
It's thinking like this that stopped real change when Thatcher was taking on the Unions. We could have had a European model, instead it took nearly two decades for maternity leave, good pensions for all, the Disability discrimination act etc.

That's an excellent saying. And sadly true. Somehow, here we see inequality and get pitted against each other rather than against the government and system that engineered it.

AuntieStella · 15/03/2023 08:55

Spacie · 15/03/2023 08:47

Nursery vouchers for 15 hours were introduced (by the Tories) when DS1 was in his last term at Playgroup. He is now 30 so that was 1997. When labour got it it was changed to a grant directly to the provider but only from the term after their 4th birthday so my summer born DD got nothing before she went into reception. This was the same for my youngest. I don't know when 3 year olds started to qualify.

It was before 1997, as it was a Tory policy originally, and my DC qualified, and it was term after 3rd birthday, but the date was set by calendar and did not allow for late Easters. So it was 1 April, even if the spring term ended after that - much to the annoyance of parents with early April DC who were 3 before the end of the previous term but still did not qualify for the summer term!!

Labour didn't IIRC change it to age 4 (I had DC under both administrations and I'm sure they all qualified the same way). Labour did ban top ups, which made the scheme unaffordable for some providers, as the ELG amount did not cover actual costs, especially in cities.

Even back then, the additional household income we had from both parents working was wiped out by the costs of nursery. Very expensive time, but we were lucky that we had savings to cover the shortfall and of course once through those years, the family finances strengthen considerably

What5hallido · 15/03/2023 08:55

But you did benefit from a better benefits system to support working parents (it's irrelevant you couldn't benefit), childcare vouchers which offer better benefits to the current tax free childcare, uncapped child benefit for many years, probably received or around the same time as child trust fund payments, and better funded schools!

BoredBetsy · 15/03/2023 08:56

Op, look at it this way - your dc will be eligible for it if they decide to have children.
Surely, this is positive?

IVFbeenverylucky · 15/03/2023 08:56

To be fair, house prices 20 years ago? And way better pensions. Get a grip.

WelHong · 15/03/2023 08:56

LiftyLift · 15/03/2023 08:13

It’s not a race to the bottom.

You would have benefited from cheaper house prices than people getting on the ladder now as they have young kids.

Cheaper house prices?! People with DC at university are not 80!

The houses I've bought since the early 90s have always been monstrously expensive - I could only buy because I was given a very large amount of money when I was in my 20s.

We did get 15 free hours for our DC (all now at university). They didn't go to nursery but as they are all summer born, we used the 15 free hours as part-payment towards Reception year at their independent school as they were all 4 throughout Reception.

Weallgottachangesometime · 15/03/2023 08:57

I think you’re making the wrong comparison. Instead of comparing your situation against those whose situations might be made a smidge better, why not compare it to those who are raking in millions (billions).

I highly doubt childcare is going to much easier anyway. Even if they offer more free hours in many places childcare spaces are full or nurseries are struggling to get staff and afford the free hours.

Did your children get the payment into a child saving when they were born?
we’re lots of acticities at children centre when they were small?

I think each ‘generation’ has its own ups and downs.

I also highly doubt that university will ever be ‘free’ again. Just as I doubt children being born now will have a state pension.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 15/03/2023 08:57

Nah, you’re right OP, it’s not fair, make the scrounging bastards pay just like you had to. Hmm

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2023 08:57

AuntieStella · 15/03/2023 08:55

It was before 1997, as it was a Tory policy originally, and my DC qualified, and it was term after 3rd birthday, but the date was set by calendar and did not allow for late Easters. So it was 1 April, even if the spring term ended after that - much to the annoyance of parents with early April DC who were 3 before the end of the previous term but still did not qualify for the summer term!!

Labour didn't IIRC change it to age 4 (I had DC under both administrations and I'm sure they all qualified the same way). Labour did ban top ups, which made the scheme unaffordable for some providers, as the ELG amount did not cover actual costs, especially in cities.

Even back then, the additional household income we had from both parents working was wiped out by the costs of nursery. Very expensive time, but we were lucky that we had savings to cover the shortfall and of course once through those years, the family finances strengthen considerably

Show quote history

My ds is 29. I was a single parent. I don’t remember any help for childcare until Labour got into power. I certainly had none.

I was squeezed at both ends. No help for childcare and payed university support.

ShandaLear · 15/03/2023 08:58

Mine are almost university age (17). We got salary sacrifice which saved about £250 a month on FT childcare. I got a free degree and a free Masters so, you know, swings and roundabouts. I’ll be paying for my kids and they’ll be taking out loans to go to university and I don’t begrudge that. I wouldn’t have been able to without that support.

whumpthereitis · 15/03/2023 08:58

Progress always come too late to benefit some people. That isn’t an argument against progress.

It is noticeable that there always seems to be a split between people who didn’t benefit yet want a better future for others, and those who didn’t benefit and want others to suffer and struggle like they did. Not because they’re actually against progress and would have declined help offered, but because they won’t personally feel the benefit. Politics of envy I guess.

WelHong · 15/03/2023 08:58

I agree with this, too. As always, people in the middle are completely stuffed.

LakeTiticaca · 15/03/2023 08:58

I wish that in the 80s when I was single and had no children, I could work part time hours and sit on my arse while the government paid the rest of it

Weallgottachangesometime · 15/03/2023 08:59

LakeTiticaca · 15/03/2023 08:58

I wish that in the 80s when I was single and had no children, I could work part time hours and sit on my arse while the government paid the rest of it

Huh? Paid the rest of what

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 15/03/2023 08:59

With my oldest ones there was not even tax /childcare vouchers.
But I am pleased that my DD now can benefit with Dgd
Remember every generation is their grandparents snowflake generation, what with owning homes and cars and all that.
I'm only mid fifties but the world has changed so much for women in my life time.im grateful for the times I live in.

Barbecuebeans · 15/03/2023 09:00

LiftyLift · 15/03/2023 08:13

It’s not a race to the bottom.

You would have benefited from cheaper house prices than people getting on the ladder now as they have young kids.

This.

There are a whole host of things I missed out on: good parenting; decent schooling; loving partner; childcare support. The list goes on. But I certainly wouldn't want the next generations to miss out on these things because I had it tough. I know there are a lot of people who like to say they brought up seven children without any support and don't understand why others can't and they're all snowflakes but I completely disagree.

We should try and build a better society where people aren't run ragged just because they have children and work.

IWineAndDontDine · 15/03/2023 09:02

My parents bought their house for 56 grand in 1996 whilst both on minimum wage. Its now worth 316 grand and two people on minimum wage would never be able to buy it. You may have missed out on free childcare but let's not act like we have it waaaay better than you.

Spacie · 15/03/2023 09:02

AuntieStella · 15/03/2023 08:55

It was before 1997, as it was a Tory policy originally, and my DC qualified, and it was term after 3rd birthday, but the date was set by calendar and did not allow for late Easters. So it was 1 April, even if the spring term ended after that - much to the annoyance of parents with early April DC who were 3 before the end of the previous term but still did not qualify for the summer term!!

Labour didn't IIRC change it to age 4 (I had DC under both administrations and I'm sure they all qualified the same way). Labour did ban top ups, which made the scheme unaffordable for some providers, as the ELG amount did not cover actual costs, especially in cities.

Even back then, the additional household income we had from both parents working was wiped out by the costs of nursery. Very expensive time, but we were lucky that we had savings to cover the shortfall and of course once through those years, the family finances strengthen considerably

Show quote history

timeline of nursery schemes

3 year olds didn't get anything until 2004. My youngest just missed out.

Ceryneianhind · 15/03/2023 09:03

Ponoka7 · 15/03/2023 08:25

That saying repeated on here from a Hindu who had been in the UK one year was very true " in India if my neighbour has a goat, I pray that I will get one. In the UK, I prey that my neighbour's goat will die".
It's thinking like this that stopped real change when Thatcher was taking on the Unions. We could have had a European model, instead it took nearly two decades for maternity leave, good pensions for all, the Disability discrimination act etc.

Christ that's soooo true!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/03/2023 09:04

@Spacie

Thank you. I knew it started around then. My dd born in 2006 just got it. Not that it made much difference as we still had to pay cm retainer fees.

Soakitup37 · 15/03/2023 09:04

Here we go… parent bashing at its finest. I’d love to hear your financial position op.

even with help I’m struggling. I doubt I’ll ever have the funds for university got my children. I may not ever retire, and I don’t see my financial position ever getting better. But yeah let’s bash something you didn’t have because that’s unfair.

Barbecuebeans · 15/03/2023 09:05

WelHong · 15/03/2023 08:56

Cheaper house prices?! People with DC at university are not 80!

The houses I've bought since the early 90s have always been monstrously expensive - I could only buy because I was given a very large amount of money when I was in my 20s.

We did get 15 free hours for our DC (all now at university). They didn't go to nursery but as they are all summer born, we used the 15 free hours as part-payment towards Reception year at their independent school as they were all 4 throughout Reception.

Show quote history

The mortgage I had on my detached house twenty years ago, would barely buy a flat in the same road now. There is no comparison.

What my nephew is paying in rent for a two bedroom flat would cover a big mortgage but you need a massive deposit.

FlowersareEverything · 15/03/2023 09:06

As a grandmother in my sixties I am delighted about this news. Surely we want the coming generations to be more comfortable than their predecessors? In the sixties we were not the poorest, but times were tough - cold house, limited food, not a lot of clothes etc. By the seventies my brothers were in university - no student fees and full maintenance grants, no student loans needed. My eighties born children had five paid for mornings per week at nursery. In came the nineties and I became a mature student, still no fees but I had student loans.

My only concern is how we will be able to find more child care workers to facilitate the extra hours needed. Perhaps some kind of scheme to attract people into that line of work. I’ve really no idea what though.

TheMoth · 15/03/2023 09:06

I'm the first gen to pay tuition fees. Bought a house when they were double the price they used to be. Got a few hours free childcare when both dc were in, but it still effectively took an entire full time wage for a couple of years. We've spent an insane amount of money over the last decade or so and, although there's a big part of me that wants to stamp my foot and say:'it's not fair, Where's my back pay?', surely it's better that we make improvements for each generation.