Comment on body size..

[mishthecatfish]

A woman who I do not know had seen my pics online and she asked if I was okay as she'd had an eating disorder when she was younger - she was implying I have one because I'm slim...

My issue is, I highly doubt that same person would ask an overweight woman if she was alright because of her size!

It's seems so much more socially acceptable to comment on slim women but it's really frowned on to comment on a larger person - in my opinion neither is okay!

Isn’t it awful that being rude is so normalised? How can we stop people being rude and making comments about people’s bodies?

What a nasty, unhelpful message to send.

If you don't have anything nice to say........don't say anything at all

I've been hugely obese (size 22) but now slim (7.5 stone, but healthy). I'm almost 40, my weight has never been commented on, negatively or otherwise, whether fat or slim.

I'm always surprised at these threads with replies detailing all the comments they get from people - I can't understand who would make the comments. Weird.

You’re right that people seem to think is more acceptable to comment on your weight if you’re skinny. But that’s because, rightly or wrongly, being underweight is considered more desirable than being overweight so it’s presumed that it’s less offensive.
Personally I don’t think either are offensive, it’s an observation. But I know I’m not in the majority with that view.

You surely must be aware that being skinny or slim is seen as the "ideal" look though. Come on models in shop windows and magazines....being overweight isn't really desired is it?

How on earth is it nasty to suggest someone just ignore messages recieved from random people she doesn't know?

Most people would prefer to be slim than over weight, so they don't imagine they are being insulting by commenting on a slim body.
Many people would even choose 'skinny' over fat as they (often incorrectly) think it's an easily resolved 'problem' and you can always fatten up if you choose by eating nice things.

I couldn't understand why people were suddenly so nice to me ... It turns out that that most people treat normal sized people like that all the time. The difference I had noticed was that nasty judgmental people like you had stopped being so fucking rude.

Well said, @Magenta82. Shocking, isn't it!

Don’t turn it into a skinny vs fat debate please.

Plenty of people comment on overweight proper’s weight, directly or indirectly.

Why does it need to be competition? Neither is ok.

The PP isn’t being nasty at all. She’s just saying why let it bother you.

Thats a strange reaction to a perfectly normal post making a valid point.

Yes they do say you're fat if you are! They also say it when a woman is a perfectly healthy weight as an insult...

The problem with 'neither is ok' (which it isn't) is that it goes against our societal norms and expectations of courtesy. If we're going to be honest, most of us would no sooner fail to comment positively on a friends weight loss than we would their new hairstyle. We expect it, some people even going so far as to believe when the compliments aren't forthcoming the person is 'jealous'. Unfortunately while complimenting each other on appearance is an expected courtesy, its never going to become taboo to comment. Comments on being fat are taboo because it's not a positive. Just like it's considered OK to say 'you look young' but not 'you look old'.

YABU

And you clearly have no idea what overweight people have to listen to.
Anyone with extra weight and it’s open fire with no mercy.

As a fat woman, I promise you that it is regularly commented on by strangers and people I know (banter innit? 🙄)

Had this in my younger days when I was very slim . One of my colleagues bullied me over it and was constantly watching what I was eating. I found other women resented me for it .

Wasn't this done a few hours ago?

Absolutely. I dont want to post anything except on private social media or anonymously as my picture, as a fat woman, apparently seems to invite people to comment negatively on my size, even when the discussion doesn't involve weight. I've been called a whale by strangers online more than I can count on one hand. This is the experience of a lot of fat women online.

Models regularly have all kinds of nasty incomes hurled at them, about looking anorexic and skeletal and more. Actresses and celebrities are more average weight so nobody comments unless they have crippling self esteem issues themselves.

Oh yes they do! And worse it's being called out in public 'hey orca' or 'no wonder you're fat eating that' or 'should you be eating that'? I'm not that overweight but I've heard all these (I was once called a pig in Paris when I was a size 12 at almost 6'). And being invisible - ironic as that is.

Models and actresses get insults thrown at them by people who's opinion doesn't matter to them in the least. They are celebrated by the people who count; those paying their wages and keeping them in the spotlight. I can't imagine Kate Moss would have given much thought to being called anorexic by Julie from Wolverhampton when she was being internationally feted for her beauty.

And maybe that's fine for supermodels but there are still regular women who look like that who get the same treatment. No silver lining there I'm afraid.

My only point is that being on either end of the scale will result in you being insulted and degraded. Models and very thin women are definitely not praised in society.

You get accused of having an eating disorder, are embarrassed in public by having people draw attention to your skinniness/what you're eating, called all kinds of names that are equally as vile.

I agree that exceptionally thin women who are thin beyond the level deemed attractive get insults. However, in reality such women are very rare indeed.
Most of the people who start threads complaining about 'skinny bashing' are not in that category. They are typically just slim healthy weight women (who know that full well!) who have had the odd person make a comment. My BMI is 21 so bang on healthy, but I've had people tell me I'm too skinny. I take no notice, because I know very well I'm not, im happy with my weight, and the remark is rooted in either a skewed idea of what too thin looks like, or a clumsy attempt to flatter me.
This is entirely different from the experience of OW women who recieve comments that are clearly and unambiguously negative and obviously designed to insult them. I've been there too.

That's a fair point. If you get the odd comment as a slim woman you can dismiss, that's not the same as a skinny woman who gets lots of negative attention.

Stealth brag.. I’m skinny and people are taking about it.. 😂

Yep 😴🙄😏