Aaargh! WIBU to say if I’m such a strong candidate, why didn’t you give me the bloody job!

[Swosh]

So 4 interviews over the last 2 weeks. All really great roles at a higher salary and better conditions. 3 through employment agencies who had already remotely interviewed me and said I would be great for their roles.

Feedback from actual job interviews were that I came cross really well, my answers were great and I was a ‘very strong candidate’ but I was ‘pipped at the post’ for all of them! Obviously a lie to make me feel better at wasting my time.

What on earth am I doing wrong?

Two interviews involved walking up flights of stairs to get to the interview room (why couldn’t the damn room be on the ground floor?!) and as I’ve put a bit of weight on over the last year as working from home, I admit that I was a bit breathless almost keeled over at the start of the interview.

Could it be because I’m fat? Most of the roles were WFH though and I look fine head and shoulders wise.

I dress smart, well groomed, well spoken (don’t smell of BO).

At the interview I had this morning they said they had more interviews lined up for the rest of today and all day tomorrow so would come to me on Thursday but they called me at lunchtime to say that I was great but pipped at the post again and they had struggled to choose between me and another candidate, which I thought was odd. What about the other interviews they had apparently had lined up for today and tomorrow?

WIBU to ask my thread title when I inevitably get knocked back from the two interviews I’ve got lined up next week?

I resigned from my last job due to toxic environment and crap pay last month (bit heat of the moment) so desperately need to get another one!

What reason do you give for leaving your last job? Leaving because of a toxic environment can mean anything. It could mean you were asked to leave as you caused it! I would be careful with that- perhaps say you are looking for a more team based collaborative culture than your last role which was rather more isolating. Or something like that. Have you a good reference from your last boss?

I am looking and didn't get something i thought would be perfect, which is a shame but they know what they want and lovely as I am:) someone else had more honed skills. I don't mind, maybe I dodged a bullet.

They have told you why- it's always about a team fit. This is a tenuous area. Who knows?

Perhaps do some contract work/ mat cover and build your network in the meantime.

💯

It can also seem like nerves. Of course it's fine to smile & exhange informal pleasantries at start & finish but interviewing is a long, busy day & the panel is there to get a job done. Best not to try to be funny.

Oh the irony!

Not only on my posts but the others you’re judging, yet you claim to not judge IRL. Deluded or bullshit?

I did a lot of interviews in a previous job and sometimes you can be perfect for a job but you might just not fit in as well with the team as a different candidate. How the team works together is a key part of recruiting for a role, if someone else gels better than you, that’s just the way it is.
Keep going, the right role and company will turn up. I’ve never not employed someone because they smelled, or were fat, or had a face tattoo, or bright hair.

What on earth am I doing wrong?

Almost certainly nothing, or you wouldn't be getting that many interviews.
I'd wonder if they think you'd be too expensive because of your past experience, but since they could work that out from your CV I doubt it'll be this either

Very possibly it's more than just one which went to a pre-selected candidate, but depending on sector it's probably just a numbers game and a question of pressing on

I’m in a similar boat. Got down to the last 2 candidates twice. Then told a version of “we chose the other candidate as we felt it would be less of a transition for them”.

So, reading between the lines - they’re basically saying I’m from a traditionally slow ploddy sector, the other candidate is from the much “safer” private sector. We like you but can’t take the risk with you that doesn’t exist with the other candidate.

It’s tiring and disheartening. Gets on my nerves tbh. But gotta keep pressing forward otherwise I’ll never find anything..

Oh and my BMI is 20. It’s not helping me (professional office hybrid roles).

desperately need to get another one!

I think this 'need' to get a new job is skewing how you are feeling about these interviews and making it even harder for you.

I'd earnestly advise you to reframe it, find out what you can learn about yourself and the potential new job and how you would work together.

Hold your nerve, keep plodding along and tbd right job will show up. Meanwhile, are you networking like crazy to leave no stone unturned

Good luck, it's going to happen for you.

I doubt it, OP.

I wonder if you need to reset your expectations about jobs. I think a lot of people imagine if they're qualified and they interviewers really think they're excellent, then it's almost shocking not to get the job. But there's only one job going! And often, many candidates will have been qualified and excellent. Why assume people are lying when they say this? A weirdly entitled attitude, I think.

Just to declare, no background in HR or recruitment. Heres my take......
The first three interviews were through employment agencies. I'm assuming you weren't head hunted and just submitted a CV and had a chat (interview) with them. It's probable they've forwarded your generic CV to a potential client and you (just about in their opinion) meet the essential criteria. What have they got to loose? OK not all agencies are like this but I've been for interviews where there was definitely a mis match with expectations.

Another reason might be you have the skills and experience but didn't demonstrate it well. Telling someone you have 'great communication skills' or are a 'great team player' is very different to describing how you managed an angry client or stepped in to cover for a colleague. Look what skills they required and answer the question 'tell me about a time you conducted yourself with patience/persuaded someone to do something/had to time manage well....etc

The most likely reason is there were better candidates. Ones who had more than the minimum skills and experience or ones that demonstrated them better. Or there could just be a first aid certificate in it.

I'm realistic. It's possible that someone took a dislike to you or made judgements/assumptions based on your presentation. A red sweaty face might come across as anxiety or lack of confidence. If its your looks then what? Asking for feedback is fine but you won't always get it. There's a good chance however that someone from the agency has heard back. Ask for a frank talk.

And finally....there's nothing as unappealing as negativity. You sound almost angry stating they're wasted your time. Be careful not to slag your former employer off. Why did you leave?" "Well sadly the job didn't offer the development opportunities I was expecting" not the manager was a bully. There's lots of further advice on line on how to answer these questions."So how long have you been unemployed".."It's just been a few weeks since I left which has allowed me to complete ABC etc"...so look for the positive.

Be realistic. It might take a while before you find another suitable job. A few weeks reallybisnt anything.

(And FWIW, I worked until recently in a sector where, because it's a small world, I had personal friends at many different levels of seniority - I'd been interviewed by some and had interviewed others, and friends had been competing candidates alongside me, or alongside each other in interview sessions I was part of. I am absolutely, completely sure people were being honest when they told excellent candidates they were excellent, but someone else was better. I saw people who were amazing not getting a job, simply because there were loads of great candidates. In some situations the panel is almost reduced to choosing by tossing a coin. It's very, very common for everyone to acknowledge that the whole shortlist could be hired, but sadly, they have to choose someone.

I'm not saying it's like this in every job field, but it is in many. Jobs have just got much more competitive to get.)

Look on the bright side OP. At least you didn’t get as far as a police check and reference checks and still miss out like I did last year. Devastating.

I worked for NHS. They interviewed for 2 jobs. Both positions had been filled temporarily with 'Bank staff'. Despite both doing the job well for nearly 6 months neither were offered the permanent position. One person was very upset and took this as a personal slight. The interview consisted of a panel including someone who knew neither the role or the candidates.
The interview does not guarentee the best candidate, it garentees the candidate who can demonstrate the best potential on the day. The bank person got feedback, learnt about the interview process....and secured a permanent role later.
Most publ8c sector jobs work this way....unfortunately some really do chose who they like the look of.

I’m so nervous in interviews I’m going to ask my GP for a beta blocker or similar. My nerves manifest in nausea, diarrhea, dry mouth and sweaty hands. Everyone says ‘oh I hate interviews and get nervous’ but I’m pretty sure they don’t have crippling nerves like I do.

It’s part of the reason I’ve been stuck in my current toxic workplace for way too long.

Then I see some of the new people my office hires and some of them are duds (they really are). It’s incredibly frustrating.

Well there's often only one job to fill at the company and lots of candidates. So yeah, even if you're good and there's no obvious "no", you might still lose out to someone who just slightly "pips you to the post" for whatever reason. I think you're overthinking it. It's not like you've had tons of interviews. It's simple numbers

I doubt you are doing anything wrong. It's a numbers game. Keep going I'm sure you'll be successful.

The vacancy my dept advertised last month had almost 700 applicants. Lots of great people will not get the job.

In my field feedback requests are very common and 'pipped at the post' wouldn't be acceptable. If we gave that feedback, we'd expect a come back asking for more specific feedback that allowed the candidate an opportunity to improve and identified areas of weakness as compared to other candidates.

admittedly a highly litigious field where we are v careful about E&D but personally I wouldn't accept pipped at the post and I would go back and politely ask for more constructive feedback that identified your areas of weakness (where exactly the pipping occurred). you may get platitudes but you may get something.

having said all of that it does sometimes happen that 2nd place candidate is highly employable and the only difference between 1st and 2nd is just a shade more charm/personality/panel warming to them - which is utter shite I know but the real world and something hard to articulate. To put it another way, think of a pair of people you like -comedians or TV presenters often are good for this exercise - Ant & Dec, Reeves & Mortimer, the Two Ronnies - and imagine you had to pick one to come to live in your house for 24 hours - which would you pick - assuming you like them both. It just comes down to the one you feel you'd have more chemistry with - a better fit. It's shitty but impossible to articulate well to a candidate without a law suit.

Close but no cigar may mean just that. Close but trivia as a distinguisher. Unlucky in other words.

It's often just a numbers game. 4 interviews isn't many.

We often have 50+ applicants for 1 job opening. We interview maybe 6-8 of the applicants. Only 1 of them can get the job.

Is it a physical job?

How long is your career gap?

Recently I have had people turn up for interviews in trainers or jeans and jumpers.

it is a professional wear workplace so this is completely wrong and shows me they don’t get who we are.

I'll be honest, it's feedback I've given before.

It depends on the role but if you've got a bunch of candidates who all meet the person specification, on the day you could appoint any one of them.

You end up appointing the candidate who scores highest, either because they have additional skills or experience or because they come across as likeable and a good fit for the team.

When you feedback to unsuccessful candidates you can't say "oh you didn't have a certificate in fine embroidery" if you didn't ask for it. They have the skills, (on paper) that's why you are interviewing them. So the real reasons are
A) we liked person x better
B) we didn't believe what you said and weren't convinced you live up to your application
C) we have an internal candidate and are going through the motions.
D) person x is genuinely more experienced at making sausages so we scored then higher.

Whatever the actual reason, you tell the unsuccessful people a version of D.

At interview you need them to like you, to believe you and to know what skills & experience you have. Good Luck.

OP keep your job search going and don't take it personally. There are so many candidates per vacancy and employers can only offer one person the specific role.

You will find the company that thinks you are the best fit for them (and them for you) in due course.

Not only on my posts but the others you’re judging, yet you claim to not judge IRL. Deluded or bullshit

What are you talking about? 😂

I am judging you on your obnoxious posts (although now I don't actually believe you interview anyone, tbh)

Of course I 'judge' interview candidates, if by 'judge' you mean assess and evaluate - that's the purpose of an interview. However unlike you apparently I do so according to proper procedure & equally with all candidates - not your suggested snap judgments.

HTH

we have an internal candidate and are going through the motions

Just on this - we never treat internal candidates as shoo-ins. They have to prove themselves at interview like anyone else. They don't always get it, either.

I always counsel people not to make assumptions about internal candidates being a given for a role.

Did you tell them that you had already resigned from your previous role and tell them why? You say you are het up about that, did that come across in the interview?

Don’t overthink the feedback. It’s a no- move on.

surely it won’t be because you’re overweight. Maybe being overqualified?

I applied for 3 identical jobs - all civil service, same title. Just different areas of the country. 1 declined me at prescreening - I didn't meet criteria. 2 have interviewed me and 1 so far has offered me the job. I don't think I'll be offered from the final one.

But that just goes to show that where job description, pre-screen and interview were all identical, there can be very different outcomes. The reason for me being offered the job I was, was for my enthusiasm for the role. I felt at ease with the interview panel. The most recent one, despite knowing some of them and the company already, had a different feel about it.

If you're getting as far as interview, on paper you have the goods. Maybe you're lacking in confidence about your skills and ability due to your career gaps. Don't see them as deficits but an alternative way of working for a while.