Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my son to be on Love Island

84 replies

gotthetaste · 14/03/2023 14:16

My son does some modelling and is on Instagram with a few thousand followers (which is not that unusual).

Prior to this current series, he was contacted, via his modelling agency, about going on Love Island.

For various reasons I didn't want him to do it, the main one being the negative effect it can have on contestant's mental health.

He has some quirky ways (which we all
do) and I wouldn't want to see things splashed about him all over the papers.

It was obviously his decision as he's an adult, but I'm so glad he decided against pursuing it!

Out of interest, I just wondered if anyone would have encouraged their kids to go on it?

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 14/03/2023 14:17

Absolutely not

Fromwetome · 14/03/2023 14:18

I would feel ashamed as a parent that he fit the criteria since narcissistic traits seem to feature strongly in each individual that's on that Shit show.

XelaM · 14/03/2023 14:19

My daughter and her best friend wanted to do it but both are too young 😂

PeekAtYou · 14/03/2023 14:19

I wouldn't have encouraged it either and am relieved that my kids have no desire for fame. I'd imagine that becoming famous overnight and then the game fading overnight must be very strange.

Original poster
gotthetaste · 14/03/2023 14:22

Fromwetome · 14/03/2023 14:18

I would feel ashamed as a parent that he fit the criteria since narcissistic traits seem to feature strongly in each individual that's on that Shit show.

Are you saying I should be ashamed of him as he's narcissistic?

If so, that's complete rubbish as the production have never met him and don't know what he's like!

OP posts:
FiveHundredDucksWentOutOneDay · 14/03/2023 14:25

Fromwetome · 14/03/2023 14:18

I would feel ashamed as a parent that he fit the criteria since narcissistic traits seem to feature strongly in each individual that's on that Shit show.

They search for people that they think are attractive; and that have followings; and then assess their ability to cope with the set-up/aftermath/media attention in a series of workshops and interviews...

The narcissism is, to a certain extent, a result of needing to select people who are likely to be able cope with that, and stand out in a group of people.

Much like grad schemes; but on a bigger scale.

I hate Love Island; as a concept and a reality; but this is an uninformed response.

SisterBeaverhausen · 14/03/2023 14:28

I wouldn't encourage it for my child but if my child chose to go on it, I would of course be supportive.

If he does decide in the future to go on it, just inform him that he's unlikely to make big bucks from it and fame is fleeting. Be there for him and support him and tell him to have fun. That's what most of them are there for, not love.

Knullrufs · 14/03/2023 14:33

I work with a guy who has been approached to go on LI eight times now, and declined them every time. (He's a fitness model and personal trainer.) You'd think they'd have got the message by now, but no.

I think it's up to people whether they want to go on it or not. If your son already does modelling, he'll likely be used to some of the ways that attractive people can get objectified and targeted. Love Island seems to be a different level, though. I think those kinds of constructed reality shows only really 'work' for certain personality types.

PinkiOcelot · 14/03/2023 14:36

God no. I absolutely hate these shit reality shows that make the contestants in to “celebs”.

I'm not surprised you’re glad he’s decided against.

PretzelBite · 14/03/2023 14:40

I would worry. The public are notoriously horrible and several contestants have been bullied, had mental health issues after the show and I think there was even a suicide.

asplashofmilk · 14/03/2023 14:48

I could see both sides. It does come with risks about how you come across and some participants have had a very rough time afterwards including the suicide (although a quick google tells me there have been 200+ contestants now, so how the rate of MH issues compares to other walks of life I don't know).

On the other hand, it's made very successful careers for some participants and even those that don't go on to great fame will pick up appearance and sponsorship work. For someone struggling financially or who has limited earning potential I can see why they would do it.

jumperoobaby · 14/03/2023 14:48

I'll say it and I know I'm a complete hypocrite. I always watch LI, but no way would I want my son on it!

If that's what he wanted to do I'd support him and help him not to be an idiot on it but I wouldn't actively encourage it.

butterup · 14/03/2023 14:56

I wouldn't for sure, due to the mental health risk.

I can see why a parent – with good intentions, not selfish ones – might encourage their child to go on it. Maybe if the child has a legitimate (not shady MLM stuff) business type thing (like personal trainer, gym, selling handmade stuff) which they're confident and passionate about, and going on Love Island would bring them a wider following. They'd have to have very good mental health and a very stable sense of self (not ego) though.

butterup · 14/03/2023 14:58

@asplashofmilk yes, doesn't sound very nice, but I think "limited earning potential" is the keyword. For some who will never succeed in traditional white collar fields and may be stuck in minimum wage jobs all their life (and there's nothing wrong with that), TV publicity may open up new doors for them or any potential businesses they might have.

Chocolatetadpole · 14/03/2023 15:01

No, I'd also actively discourage mine. I think no matter how resilient your child may present as, they have no idea what having the general public picking over every single detail of their appearance and personality in public forums could do to their self esteem and mental health. Daily Mail comments sections and sites like Tattle are so so grim and it must be soul destroying to read some of those things about yourself.

MudLady · 14/03/2023 15:05

gotthetaste · 14/03/2023 14:22

Are you saying I should be ashamed of him as he's narcissistic?

If so, that's complete rubbish as the production have never met him and don't know what he's like!

Show quote history

I agree with @Fromwetome on this; I think the point is that the producers search for young people who are physically attractive & already have a following online or other media. Of course they could then turn out to be dull as dishwater, too nice, or have other traits that don’t make for compelling viewing but are good in RL.

TBH I think the fact that he’s decided against it says a lot about him, and none of it is bad!

Enthrallingstoryofstillnessandlight · 14/03/2023 15:07

I would strongly discourage my DC's to ever entertain going on one of these awful 'shows'

QualityTweet · 14/03/2023 15:11

Fromwetome · 14/03/2023 14:18

I would feel ashamed as a parent that he fit the criteria since narcissistic traits seem to feature strongly in each individual that's on that Shit show.

Bit harsh?

You don't know the first thing about this boy!

CarPoor · 14/03/2023 15:13

Fromwetome · 14/03/2023 14:18

I would feel ashamed as a parent that he fit the criteria since narcissistic traits seem to feature strongly in each individual that's on that Shit show.

You must have spent a long time watching it to come to that conclusion for a something you consider a shit show

CarPoor · 14/03/2023 15:16

I would be worried about a relative of mine on love island. I think it can be pretty self esteem ruining, and people are really vicious about essential strangers.

I don't think its easy to come out of that with your mental health intact.

NastyNiff · 14/03/2023 15:18

I'm respectful of any young person who turns it down, as until I was about 30 I would have been highly susceptible to that sort of thing. Though I would have been too nerdy to be invited. Smile

Lostmarblesfinder · 14/03/2023 15:22

There have definitely been some proper narcissists on the show but there have been some really really decent people on it too. Many want to use it as a platform to launch a career and they may not have vast swathes of earning potential outside of it. Yes I have watched a few seasons of it.

Would I want my own kids in it? It is their lives, it wouldn’t be something I’d choose for them and they really wouldn’t have the personality types for it but if they decided to do it, I’d support them. They aren’t some extension of me, tied to my vision for their lives. They are their own people.

fyn · 14/03/2023 15:22

I recently watched the documentary Life after Love Island on channel 4. Almost all of them say they regret doing it. I also went to uni with a contestant from a few seasons ago and have mutual friends, she massively regrets it. The documentary is maybe worth a watch for your son!

oakleaffy · 14/03/2023 15:33

Is this a stealth boast, Op?!
Your son isn’t going on love island- so what’s the point of it, apart from saying he’s a model and has Instagram followers?! 😂

My neighbour’s daughter went on Blind Date years ago, and it was so scripted and awful.

It wasn’t good for her well-being.

adriftindenofvipers · 14/03/2023 15:46

I would be vehemently opposed!! It's not something any of mine would do though, not their 'thing' at all.