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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give Gran something on Mother's Day?

53 replies

SidSparrow · 14/03/2023 11:32

We are having My Dad and his wife round this Sunday for DS birthday. But with it being Mother's Day I feel obliged to get something from the Grandchildren for their Gran, my Step-mother. She is a good Gran, but was a rubbish step-mother. So I'm really on the fence. We are a bit skint this month so can't really afford anything to be honest. But at the same time I wouldn't want her to feel hurt. Do other Grans get Mother's Day cards and gifts for being Grans?

OP posts:
Laquila · 14/03/2023 11:34

Can you not just get the kids to make her a card and give her a bunch of tulips or similar?

WeWereInParis · 14/03/2023 11:34

I think it is one of those things that totally depends on what the norm is in your family. We don't do gifts from our DC to their grandparents on mothers/fathers day.

smilesandsheep · 14/03/2023 11:35

get your son to pick out a pack of sweets for her

LittleRedYarny · 14/03/2023 11:35

I don’t think you should feel obligated or put stress on your finances but a present, so I will trot out the golden oldie of “can you get the kids to make a card for her?”

ShapesAndNumbers · 14/03/2023 11:36

This reply has been deleted

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ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 14/03/2023 11:37

A card and a nice bunch of tulips sounds perfect to me. The whole thing should not cost more than about £6

cocksstrideintheevening · 14/03/2023 11:37

Get the kids to make a card and a bunch of daffodils

GoldDuster · 14/03/2023 11:37

It's ALLL about my mum on mothers day, Grandma is squarely on her throne, surely there are no other mothers in the house?! Me, SIL.. doesn't even register 😂 So yes, Grandma gets the glory, I see it for what is and roast that chicken and let it wash over me.

JackieQueen · 14/03/2023 11:37

It's mother's day not grandparents day so I wouldn't bother. If she wasn't very nice to you I definitely wouldn't bother!

SummaLuvin · 14/03/2023 11:39

WeWereInParis · 14/03/2023 11:34

I think it is one of those things that totally depends on what the norm is in your family. We don't do gifts from our DC to their grandparents on mothers/fathers day.

Same, depends on your family. My family do gifts from children to parents, nothing to Grandparents - I buy for my mum, she buys for hers. But if historically you have gotten something to her from your kids it might feel pointed if you change this.

Thisismeyeah · 14/03/2023 11:49

We do my Mom from me and my children on Mothersday nothing expensive flowers some thoughtful small gift from the kids, my Mom (their Gran) is a hands on Gran though and sees them every week and helps with childcare she also doesnt ever expect anything.

IsAGirlMumma · 14/03/2023 11:53

Laquila · 14/03/2023 11:34

Can you not just get the kids to make her a card and give her a bunch of tulips or similar?

I would do this.

GMOOH2023 · 14/03/2023 11:56

Why would you get her anything. She's not their mother (or yours)

Do other Grans get Mother's Day cards and gifts for being Grans?

No. The clue is in the actual name of the day.

I would think it very odd if I received anything from my grand children for Mother's Day.

purplecorkheart · 14/03/2023 11:57

How old are you dc? Could they make a card and something? Decorate a box and put some sweets in it etc?

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 14/03/2023 11:58

Grandmother or not you are still someone's mum and that is good enough for me. Appreciate the mother no matter which generation she may be !

Aftjbtibg · 14/03/2023 12:01

We do a card for both grandmothers but not a present. Could you get your children to draw her a picture? For both my mum and mil they would treasure that over a present.

xogossipgirlxo · 14/03/2023 12:01

It's mother's day, not grandma's day, so I think you should give her something if you feel like doing so, not your children. I never call my grandma on mother's day, she has her own kids to do it.

Bunnyishotandcross · 14/03/2023 12:03

There is a grandparents day in September.. Why not keep mother's day for yourself?

SlashBeef · 14/03/2023 12:03

What have you done previously?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/03/2023 12:07

I think Mother’s Day is primarily about those currently actively mothering. So those with young kids at home, and then sort of tapering with decreasing reliance on parents as adult kids become independent.

However I have said to my kids that it’s more about being extra kind to the person on that day and remembering what they do than buying presents or cards.

I have got a gift for my mum and will get a card, but this isn’t your mum. I’m not sure why you’d get her anything necessarily. That said, a card made by the kids and a bunch of flowers (inexpensive as suggested by PPs) might well keep everyone happy

NBLarsen · 14/03/2023 12:08

I never gave my grandmothers anything for mothers day, nor does my mum get anything from her grandchildren. It's mothers day, for celebrating your mum!

MyMumsOnMN · 14/03/2023 12:08

Well it's called Mother's Day not grandma day.

starfishmummy · 14/03/2023 12:20

Never done anything from my dc for their grandmother. They only have the one, dh's mother, and she gets a card and small gift from him.

DappledThings · 14/03/2023 12:23

Never got my grandmothers anything or got anything for my or DH's mother from my DC. It's another one of those things I only know about from MN.

MeinKraft · 14/03/2023 12:23

I do for my grandmother but just a card an something small like a book.

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