Page 3 | Is boys football unnecessarily competetive?

recreationalforall · 2023-03-12T19:59:37+00:00

My 2 boys 9&7 love football. Playing, watching, talking. They have been part of a club that started out very community based but subsequently the person who set it up has now made it his living. They are average players, not bad at all but not noticeably brilliant. There are some players who are better and the club has created like an additional elite squad from the age range who play up an age as well as their usual team and this then trickles into the usual teams because it's his income they accept any new joiners and thus there are a fair few subs each game competing for match time. It's all just so competetive and serious and not what i signed up for, i've spoken to the manager and explained the atmosphere i think is being created, but he's not interested he wants to join the JPL next year and become an established team with their own grounds etc, and i'm conscious of being 'that mum'. There are obviously a lot of 9 year olds who want to play football in the area and all teams are full otherwise i would move. Stopping isn't an option because the boys love it. IABU - it's not that intense just ignore it IANBU - kids football is too competetive

HereComesMaleficent · 12/03/2023 22:22

TheYearOfSmallThings · 12/03/2023 22:04

As a non-Brit living here, this has always surprised me about British sports. They are so competitive so very early on, and people don't seem to understand that recreation brought about by doing sport has value in itself. This is astonishing in a country where youth and adult obesity is such a big problem.

Oh this is not a British problem - it is a football problem, and it is more extreme in Italy, Spain, most of the countries that have a football culture. A friend moved to Italy when her sons were 8 and 9 and they could find no suitable club because all the local boys had been training since they could walk, and there was zero tolerance for kids who hadn't.

Apart from football I don't think sports in Britain are unusually competitive at all (and I say that as an Irish person who is not averse to taking an occasional pointless dig at Britain ).

Rugby in Wales is competitive even at a early age.

Dont look at our national team right now 🤣 but...

My son plays for the Under 9's. In our city alone there are over 15 separate rugby teams. One in each district. Now some of the clubs are super super competitive with A teams , B teams for 6 year olds?!

Children in the super competitive teams if they aren't in the A team, they can enjoy a season of being subs with little game time. It's awful. But hey the team is winning ever weekend.

I deliberately chose a rugby club known for its community and more gentle approach as all I wanted was for DS was to enjoy the game, and get some exercise. Now hes a lovely little scrum half, enjoys the tackling and has great speed and ability to read the game, and hes loving playing every weekend and having fun at training once a week. If he was to go to one of the more competitive teams, poor kid would spend the season on the bench and he would give up.

But all these super competitive teams only want one thing, future internationals and premier club rugby, they also boast massive teams all paying subs each meaning more money for the club.

Its madness how competitive Rugby in Wales can be even for small children.

Madreb · 12/03/2023 22:25

@PingPongPiddlyPong sorry that will have been what I meant. A PP implied that kids u11 pick out teams based on what they think they will get out of it. I don't know how you would be aware of which team is the most/least successful based on looking at the fixtures? Nobody keeps track of the score line other than mentally, nothing is recorded.

Why can’t leagues publish tables for u7 to u11 leagues?

The FA’s Youth Review restructured youth football so that it reflects what children want from the game rather than the motivations of the adults that coach or watch them. If league tables are introduced too early, then points rather than the development of players becomes the focus of games played. Standard Code of Rules Youth (SCORY) does not permit the publication of tables for these age groups although it is possible to publicise the results of Trophy events.

Madreb · 12/03/2023 22:26

SHM2407 · 12/03/2023 22:14

I'd keep an eye out for a team in a lower division as they tend to be less obsessed with winning at all costs. Look on Facebook for groups for grassroots football in your area, by about mid May there will be teams advertising for players. I run an U15s team and have done since U9s and there hasn't been a single year when we didn't have kids leave and a massive panic about recruiting replacements before the new season started.

I will definitely be keeping an eye out!

Madreb · 12/03/2023 22:27

Sometimeswinning · 12/03/2023 22:06

You pay monthly for a kids football team? Surely it's a season, one off payment? It sounds more like a fake academy.

Look for a different team.

£35pcm + FA subscription fee, and we dont pay for my youngest as my husband coaches and that's the deal.

PingPongPiddlyPong · 12/03/2023 22:35

Madreb · 12/03/2023 22:25

@PingPongPiddlyPong sorry that will have been what I meant. A PP implied that kids u11 pick out teams based on what they think they will get out of it. I don't know how you would be aware of which team is the most/least successful based on looking at the fixtures? Nobody keeps track of the score line other than mentally, nothing is recorded.

Why can’t leagues publish tables for u7 to u11 leagues?

The FA’s Youth Review restructured youth football so that it reflects what children want from the game rather than the motivations of the adults that coach or watch them. If league tables are introduced too early, then points rather than the development of players becomes the focus of games played. Standard Code of Rules Youth (SCORY) does not permit the publication of tables for these age groups although it is possible to publicise the results of Trophy events.

My oldest is U11 and we all know who the top teams are for his age in the county. He’s been playing tournaments for a few years so you learn about other teams that way if they aren’t in your league. Also our coach likes to arrange a friendly if there’s no league game on and he wants it to be competitive.
There’s no point driving for 45 minutes out of area to thrash another team 15-0. That’s not fair on either side!

SHM2407 · 12/03/2023 23:11

Madreb · 12/03/2023 22:25

@PingPongPiddlyPong sorry that will have been what I meant. A PP implied that kids u11 pick out teams based on what they think they will get out of it. I don't know how you would be aware of which team is the most/least successful based on looking at the fixtures? Nobody keeps track of the score line other than mentally, nothing is recorded.

Why can’t leagues publish tables for u7 to u11 leagues?

The FA’s Youth Review restructured youth football so that it reflects what children want from the game rather than the motivations of the adults that coach or watch them. If league tables are introduced too early, then points rather than the development of players becomes the focus of games played. Standard Code of Rules Youth (SCORY) does not permit the publication of tables for these age groups although it is possible to publicise the results of Trophy events.

In my area the league do keep a record of all the scores so they can put teams in the appropriate division the next season or move a team in the current season if they're getting battered every week. New U7s have seeding days to work out what division to put them in.

In my area the divisions are numbered so it's pretty easy to see who the better teams are even though the results aren't published.

XanaduKira · 12/03/2023 23:29

It's the same in our area too @SHM2407 & is that way since year 1 (is that U7s?)

It works well to avoid the 15-0 defeats that PP were discussing & my kids are way more competitive that either me or their dad. They're very competitive about everything, not just football. I think some kids are naturally that way - it must be innate as neither my DH nor I are like that.

converseandjeans · 13/03/2023 08:11

It sounds like your boys are good players but just not the best on their squad - because the squad is one of the better ones.

I doubt they would want to move to a friendly and inclusive set up if they're used to JPL standard matches.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having competitive teams. DS plays on a Saturday with his old school mates and round here the Saturday league is a lower standard. They're in division 2. He enjoys playing with his mates. Sunday he plays for a team which is in top 3 out of all the teams in the more competitive Sunday league (there are 7 divisions). The top Sunday league matches are always more tense & it's less enjoyable. Even within that division 1 there is a difference between top few teams and the rest of the teams in that division. But the players in the top division on a Sunday probably need that challenge. They would gain nothing from playing matches which aren't competitive & also there's no point beating other teams 15-1 each week.

I think we knew from U7 which were the best teams.

LlynTegid · 13/03/2023 08:13

A work colleague has a nine year old son, and what he describes makes me think it is very competitive. What is of concern more is that some parents (usually dads) instilling certain traits in their sons (bad sportsmanship, cheating etc).

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/03/2023 08:22

I think we knew from U7 which were the best teams.

Everyone knows tbh - it's obvious to adults and children.

lljkk · 13/03/2023 09:03

i want to suggest shifting your mindset about this. It sounds like your boys enjoy going, just you dislike what they get from it. it sounds like other footie clubs I had exposure to. I didn't want to lose my whole Saturday morning every week, standing long cold hours on sidelines for my kid to only play 3 minutes, too.

There are other sports to try. In order of how "elite squad only" they can be about who gets into competitions, I'd guess ...

gymnastics > tennis / pure athletics > footie / rugby > swimming / rowing / dance?/ hockey ? > martial arts / softball > cycling / running / very minority sport clubs.

There's no reason not to get them to try other sports, too.

DS never made elite squad but in yr10 he plays footie with lads most lunchtimes at school, he enjoys the social bonding and that early experience of regular training sessions still gave him good fundamental skills. DS actually quite excels at some other sports.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 13/03/2023 09:08

It's really, really hard to find kids sports clubs, particularly team sports, that aren't horrendously competitive, and that actually coach the kids to be better, rather than running for 10 minutes and playing a match for the remainder of the 'training' session.
Some kids want to play a bit and get better, not play in the Premier League.