Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Slobbing Around

38 replies

Rhubarb233 · 12/03/2023 00:08

I’ve been with my DP on and off for ages. I’ve just moved house - he doesn’t live with me. He comes round a lot and just slobs about on the sofa. I try to keep on top of tidying and being clean because this place is a haven to me after not having a place that truly felt like home. He doesn’t seem to care at all, he just lies on the sofa eating crisps and biscuits, crumbs everywhere, blows his nose and throws the tissues on the floor, comes in and takes off his dirty smelly socks and throws them on the floor.
I feel repulsed when I look at him and I just want him to leave. I sound ridiculous and like I’m completely overreacting but it grinds my gears.
I’m very hormonal and sometimes I can go a week or two feeling angry at everyone and everything - it could just be one of these weeks but it’s just awful. It makes me want to just end it and be by myself.
Am I just being a bi*ch?

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 12/03/2023 00:10

Tell him to clear his mess up. If he doesn’t change tell him to stop coming to your home. Either go to his or go out.

KateAusten · 12/03/2023 00:12

You can do better

Mercedes45 · 12/03/2023 00:16

What the hell is the deal with men taking off their dirty smelly socks in the living room. Mine is a farmer and he wrecks the place with his dirty smelly socks.

Sorry, I am no help. Maybe shove the socks back his throat

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 12/03/2023 00:16

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? That's so sad. Have some respect for yourself and end things.

Charles11 · 12/03/2023 00:19

Tell him not to come back.

TwoMonthsOff · 12/03/2023 00:19

If you are genuinely ‘repulsed’ then surely you would just dump him and reclaim your sanctuary - easy 🤷🏻‍♀️

ThinWomansBrain · 12/03/2023 00:19

It's your haven.
tell him he isn't welcome - you're decluttering and he doesn't bring you joy.

Goodread1 · 12/03/2023 00:24

Hi Op
Ewww, No wonder you feel Replused,
It's hardly Surprising I feel repulsed just reading about his habits,
I bet he half stinks, too,

The only thing you have missed out saying about him is him Farting reeking to high heavens Op@Rhubarb233

His dirty slob ,
Like a man child who needs a kick up the Arse,
To encourage him to fxck off out of your life,

Goodread1 · 12/03/2023 00:27

@Mercedes45

It's hard work being a farmer,
Why not treat your husband to a lovely foot massage,
Reflexology,

He might be tempted to wash his feet a bit more then,
A bonus

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/03/2023 00:31

On the upside you don't live together.

That is good.

Make sure you never do.

I couldn't be sexually attracted to a smelly slob like that.

mrsfollowill · 12/03/2023 00:33

You are not married and you do not live together- what are his good qualities? If the answer is none then bin him off- he sounds quite repulsive in all honesty so get rid of him. Your home is your sanctuary, you should feel at your most content/comfortable there. If he does not enhance that in any way then get rid! Life is too short to pander to a slob.

Northernsouloldies · 12/03/2023 00:51

Dirty tissues on the floor... Yuk.

KievsOutTheOven · 12/03/2023 00:57

Goodread1 · 12/03/2023 00:27

@Mercedes45

It's hard work being a farmer,
Why not treat your husband to a lovely foot massage,
Reflexology,

He might be tempted to wash his feet a bit more then,
A bonus

It’s also hard work picking someone else’s dirty socks up because they leave them at their tail. Plus, this poster may work even harder than her husband. She might be more inclined to rub his feet if he respected her.

AlmostaMamma · 12/03/2023 01:14

Why on Earth are you allowing someone to come into your home and behave like this? What has happened in your life to make you think this is acceptable?

Jas5mum · 12/03/2023 01:17

Time for some house rules?
I'd be direct and tell him its pissing you off...

Ponderoveryonder · 12/03/2023 01:28

You’ve been with him ‘on and off’ for ages .
He doesn’t live with you .
He disrespects you.
no wonder you’re bloody angry. In the bin with him.

Nugg · 12/03/2023 03:01

@Goodread1 are you @Mercedes45 partner 🤣

singer15 · 12/03/2023 03:51

Dirty, smelly socks are gross, but maybe he can't help that his feet smell after working (though you could ask him to take them to the bathroom or wherever you keep dirty laundry and rinse off, if he's that dirty).

Leaving crumbs and used tissues on the floor, however, is absolutely unnecessary and disrespectful of your space, and by extension, you. I'd take a hard look at your compatibility and how much you actually like him. If he's set in his ways, it will be an uphill battle to get him to change. If you like him enough, you can pull him up on his slobbiness and try to teach him basic manners (such fun 🙄), but things like this rarely improve with time and familiarity. We typically start out on our best behaviour and gradually let things go rather than starting low and improving.

PinkSyCo · 12/03/2023 04:18

What’s stopping you from ending it with the disrespectful, filthy, lazy pig then?

chartreuseabuse · 12/03/2023 04:24

Gross. He wouldn't be coming to my house. Why do you let him? Surely it would be nicer for you without him?

NomadicSpirit · 12/03/2023 04:32

As others have said, bin him. If someone is repulsing you, then I'm not sure why he's a DP.

discobrain · 12/03/2023 04:39

Congratulations, you have a manchild. Time to get rid.

Stravaig · 12/03/2023 05:52

Why are you with a guy you don't even like? Dump him. You can always go to his place for a shag if you can't live without his golden cock. DO NOT have kids with him.

hattie43 · 12/03/2023 07:01

He sounds gross. As for the blowing his nose and throwing tissues on the floor , well that's a deal breaker yuk

PandasAreUseless · 12/03/2023 08:05

He sounds like an absolute pig.
Throwing snotty tissues on the floor? No.