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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be dreading going to family member's concert?

44 replies

ireallycantthinkofaname · 11/03/2023 20:41

It's tomorrow......2.5 hrs. I will be going, obviously, just wondering if dreading it is really mean/unreasonable; It's ghastly music! (Theres soprana opera! 🤢🥴)

But he's worked REALLY hard, and has improved enormously but is obviously still nervous. So he definitely deserves the moral support. But he's not been great to me previously (to say the least. I'm in therapy......) I'd rather stay home, not that I'm going to because I'd never hear the end of it if I did, and i am proud of him in a way for persevering with practice/through the nerves etc.

not even sure why I'm posting it. should I be looking forward to it? Am I a total bitch? I'm dreading it, and the fact that I'm dreading it so much makes me feel like a complete vile cow!

OP posts:
Bunnyishotandcross · 11/03/2023 20:42

What style is your hair op ? Could you get away with earbuds?

Chevyimpala67 · 11/03/2023 20:43

(Cough cough)
Oh dear I have covid

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 11/03/2023 21:14

Plan a nice treat for afterwards and try to be zen. You never know, it might not be an ordeal.

ImAGoodPerson · 11/03/2023 21:30

It sounds like there is a lot more going on than just the concert. Yes if it was just the concert then you are being a bit mean but if this person has been unsupportive to you (or worse by the sounds of it) then why would you want to or need to support them.

Nimbostratus100 · 11/03/2023 21:32

all parents sit through hours of school performances and so on.... you just do it to support your relative

LadyWithLapdog · 11/03/2023 21:35

Try and meditate. But also, 2.5 hours? That’s a bit much. Will there be an interval? Can you slip out and come in just for your relative? Will the lights be dimmed enough?

evemillbank · 11/03/2023 21:45

Why are you going to support him if he hasn't been great to you and has led to you needing therapy?

Testina · 11/03/2023 22:14

If someone treated me so badly I needed therapy, I wouldn’t give a shit how much they’d practised - I wouldn’t be proud, I’d be uninterested. Fuck that shit.

Didiplanthis · 11/03/2023 22:16

I'm dreading my children's concert in 2 weeks so don't feel guilty 🤣

LesserBohemians · 11/03/2023 22:19

What’s ‘soprana opera’? Do you mean you find classical music ‘ghastly’, or just that your family member is no good? Either way, if he’s someone who’s mistreated you, and you don’t like opera and don’t want to go, why are you going?

LapinR0se · 11/03/2023 22:22

Soprano opera isn’t really a thing…what are you talking about

ChaToilLeam · 11/03/2023 22:23

You look a little peaky, OP. I’m not sure you should be at a concert. Especially not one where you are supposed to support someone who has been an arse to you.

Fancysauce · 11/03/2023 22:24

Don't go. Your instincts are screaming at you not to go. Have you spoken to your therapist about the concert?

FiFiWrites · 11/03/2023 22:27

Who is it? Your Son? Suck it up. Your brother? Cough cough covid

Thisismeyeah · 11/03/2023 22:31

Go and part way through first half go to toilet, stay there for 10 mins come back say you dont feel well. Say you will try and stay go to loo again and leave at interval alternatively Get drunk or take a nap.

Anaemiafog · 11/03/2023 22:32

I couldn’t care less if I offended, no way would I’d stroke the ego of someone who abused me, which I assume he did in some way for you to need therapy.

Thisismeyeah · 11/03/2023 22:32

...if it's a child of yours you should stay

Original poster
ireallycantthinkofaname · 11/03/2023 23:41

it's not a child! If it was I wouldn't be complaining whatsoever tbh (ditto sibling actually)

OP posts:
Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/03/2023 23:48

Personally, if I dislike a person that much I would make a polite excuse like migraine to not attend.

frazzledasarock · 12/03/2023 00:04

If someone had treated my so badly I ended up in counselling, I wouldn’t be going anywhere to help them with anything.

Andante57 · 12/03/2023 00:22

LapinR0se · 11/03/2023 22:22

Soprano opera isn’t really a thing…what are you talking about

I’d also like to know what soprano opera is.

Agapornis · 12/03/2023 00:43

It's your dad? Don't go if you don't want to. But if you feel you have no choice (is your mum pressurising you?): Depending on his parts, he'll be looking at the sheet music and conductor, he won't notice whether you're in the audience. You could sneak out after 5 mins, return for the interval, back out, return at the end... Unless they're playing at a church and you have to walk up the aisle, in which case you will almost certainly be noticed Grin

Try to learn a bit about the pieces they're playing, they normally hand out a programme, you might enjoy it more if you try to hear what the composer tried to convey. Classical can take getting used to.

Original poster
ireallycantthinkofaname · 12/03/2023 00:48

is what it is actually relevant.....? I don't know or care enough to find out, particularly, what genre it is specifically; I do know I actively dislike it, which is pretty unusual for me because I have very eclectic taste. And yes, I am now being actively nasty, and I'm sorry, but it seems a silly thing to quibble over.

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 12/03/2023 00:54

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

If feasible I would go for long enough to show you have been there ,get the programme & then shoot off home when it gets too much for you - so you went.

IntheSnowySnowyMountains · 12/03/2023 00:58

As he's not a child I doubt he's a soprano...