My family holidaying with my ex-husband?

[ForeverTheOptomist]

I'd really like to know how people would feel about this. I'm going to try to keep it brief.

I separated from my ex husband over two years ago. It was nasty. He was nasty He had abused me for years, mentally, emotionally, physically. There were occasions when our children ran away and hid when he started shouting.

One of my siblings asked me a few weeks ago if I would mind if they went to his holiday house with their family, and the family of another sibling for a holiday. I stupidly gave the go ahead, mainly because I'm nice(!), but I wasn't happy. Now it appears that he has booked a flight to go out with them.

AIBU to (a) think it a betrayal for them to even consider going in the first place, and (b) feel incredibly pissed that they're now going to be holidaying all together?

Found you!

I didn’t mean the op

but her family

calm down! 😂

the fact that you said yes tell me you still need to do alot of work on what im sure he has added done to your personality and ability to talk up for yourself or say your views.
they shouldnt have asked. but my family would know immedietely my reaction. theyd no id be hurt. they no it would be a painful thing to do. do yours not? and if so why.
and then why didnt you immediately give them this reaction!
that answer you gave wasnt about being nice. it was the complete wrong reaction to give to someone asking if you could go to your abusers holiday home!

How honest have you been with your family about how your relationship ended and how you feel about it?

Non-verbal clues aren't real. If you don't want them to associate with your ex because he abused you, say so. Don't tell them yes, if you mean no. Tell them EXACTLY why. Your kids were terrorized. So we're you. Don't save anyone's feelings. It's tacky enough your siblings even asked and tell them so. Absolutely tell them if they want to trade siblings, by all means. Support an abuser, lose a sister, gain a brother. Watch how fast I go NC.

I can be in the same room as someone and not speak. Just did it at Christmas after the fiasco at Thanksgiving. My brother has been verbally abusive and unstable his whole life. So I had Christmas dinner with just himself, our mom and I. We were there for hours and I never acknowledged him. He's FORTY. I'm almost 40. He's a child. I see no reason to converse with anyone that berates me for an hour because they DON'T know my business and so they bring up drama from our childhood. I'm not kidding. I know toxic siblings. Go NC.