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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much would you put into savings with this monthly income?

266 replies

Booooot · 11/03/2023 17:55

In a Great position after years of hardship of selling a property which means we will be mortgage free, debt free and have 50k to go straight into savings. Our combined monthly income is going to be 5000, our outgoings around 900.

I’m a “can’t take it with you! Might as well enjoy it!” Kind of person while my husband is a “No we must be sensible and not spend anything and save it all.” Kind of person. I want to meet in the middle somewhere.

what would you do?

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 12/03/2023 07:41

With that kind of money you would be better with an IFA, but really discuss together your priorities.
The kids could easily cost thousands a month if you wanted to - private school, classes, lessons, activities.
You might want to put them through uni without fees, so £80k each more or less.
You can't save much for a pension but your partner can.

Meanwhile, you are very young. Chances are high you will divorce at some point so how much of those assets will remain yours? You may prefer to spend .. at least you get to enjoy it ... or save ... then you get half ... or put it in the kids junior isas ....

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 07:47

Indigoshift · 12/03/2023 07:14

I do see where you are coming from op. If one month I can't afford my hair done as my MOT was due. I wait until the next month.

Your income is so huge you are right it becomes irrelevant. Even if you spent 2k on a holiday you would still have plenty left.
I also understand how some people like to account for every penny. That isn't me though.

I am interested in how much your food shop bill is though as you must be very frugal with the prices have risen.

Our good shop is about £80 a week. We’re hardly here!

OP posts:
BringItOn2023 · 12/03/2023 07:53

If you are mortgage free and have £5000+ a month coming in then you're going to be pretty comfortable whatever happens. The only potential for change is if job loss, so some savings would be an insurance against that.

namechange3394 · 12/03/2023 07:58

Booooot · 11/03/2023 23:58

I don’t really get how that can be from not planning haircuts etc. I don’t see any of those expenses as things that are important enough to have to think about every month.

Show quote history

Of course they are important enough to have to think about every month.

You probably won't go into debt on an income of 5k a month, but you'll continually dip into savings because of "unexpected" expenses such as Christmas (the very definition of expected, it's the same day every year) or getting the car serviced. You won't really have an idea of whether £1k or £10k or £30k at the end of the year is a good amount to have saved. You'll probably fritter more money away on crap you didn't actually need to spend it on because you don't understand your finances.

Doing this would allow you to be sensible and also set yourself budgets for nice things. Saving £100 a month specifically for Christmas is much more likely to give you a nice Christmas than waiting til December and then being begrudging to dip into "savings" for things. Save £200 a month for a fab holiday. That's the compromise way to enjoy your money sensibly, not have fluctuating savings where you don't really understand what the big expenses to come out of that are.

Indigoshift · 12/03/2023 07:59

Our good shop is about £80 a week. We’re hardly here!

Do you have a budget for eating when at work? Nursery/school lunches?

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 07:59

School fees aren’t something we’re worried about as they’re going to a normal secondary school. Uni will be subsidised.

I want to spend money on just enjoying life. Doing fun stuff at the weekends, having a nicer car, paying for babysitters so we can go out more etc.

My husband comes from a family that never did anything. Incredibly wealthy, multiple millions but they never went on holiday, never ate out, never had new clothes, had old broken cars.

My family are fairly poor but we always enjoyed our money. Saved up for holidays, went on day trips out.

I used to work in end of life care and every single person who lived like my husbands family deeply regretted it. I don’t want to be like that.

OP posts:
namechange3394 · 12/03/2023 08:00

Booooot · 11/03/2023 21:39

Well the savings things is why I’ve started the thread as we’ve never had enough to actually save before. I think 1k is good enough. I don’t see the point in budgeting for things like hair cuts and MOT’s I really don’t. Birthdays and Christmas are just things that get bought that month.

Then you're in a very privileged position.

What do you do when you get to December and you can't afford Christmas? You say once you have this £50k you will be debt free - are you currently in debt? "Unexpected" spends on a credit card perhaps?

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:01

Indigoshift · 12/03/2023 07:59

Our good shop is about £80 a week. We’re hardly here!

Do you have a budget for eating when at work? Nursery/school lunches?

I don’t eat at work and my husband eats for free. Daughter gets free school meals and the baby gets fed at nursery (which is covered by student finance).

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 12/03/2023 08:01

Booooot · 12/03/2023 07:59

School fees aren’t something we’re worried about as they’re going to a normal secondary school. Uni will be subsidised.

I want to spend money on just enjoying life. Doing fun stuff at the weekends, having a nicer car, paying for babysitters so we can go out more etc.

My husband comes from a family that never did anything. Incredibly wealthy, multiple millions but they never went on holiday, never ate out, never had new clothes, had old broken cars.

My family are fairly poor but we always enjoyed our money. Saved up for holidays, went on day trips out.

I used to work in end of life care and every single person who lived like my husbands family deeply regretted it. I don’t want to be like that.

With a £5k income you can save and spend money on enjoying life. You just need to agree the % split.

Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:03

Thinking that your "outgoings" are £900 a month is a recipe for disaster.

This. Over a course of a year, I'd be astonished if your outgoings were £900 per month on average.

I'm guessing £900 is the regular essentials (Council Tax, utilities, groceries etc.) but, there are all the other irregular essentials (car repair, general house/garden upkeep and repairs, school uniform etc) then there are birthdays and Christmas, and then there are all the discretionary stuff that quickly adds up even if you're not spendthrift, such as new shoes, clothes, meals, trips out, entertaining.

I say this as someone who thought they could live off £700 per month as that appeared to cover everything - I had little choice as I had no extra buffer as you do, but it was very stressful trying to make ends meet for the 'unexpected stuff'.

My advice is to try and work out a realistic average monthly outgoings on normal activities that reflect the lifestyle you choose (and it won't be £900 unless you choose to be exceptionally frugal), and then decide what you want to do with the rest.

namechange3394 · 12/03/2023 08:05

Booooot · 12/03/2023 07:59

School fees aren’t something we’re worried about as they’re going to a normal secondary school. Uni will be subsidised.

I want to spend money on just enjoying life. Doing fun stuff at the weekends, having a nicer car, paying for babysitters so we can go out more etc.

My husband comes from a family that never did anything. Incredibly wealthy, multiple millions but they never went on holiday, never ate out, never had new clothes, had old broken cars.

My family are fairly poor but we always enjoyed our money. Saved up for holidays, went on day trips out.

I used to work in end of life care and every single person who lived like my husbands family deeply regretted it. I don’t want to be like that.

Yes, great. Save up for holidays! Save up for Christmas! So that you can have a lovely time. Set yourself a lovely big monthly budget for days out. Perhaps one month you'll have a few smaller days out, then you'll save it for a couple of months for a big trip to a theme park. Great. These are "sinking funds".

That's LITERALLY what we're telling you to do budgeting for big things month by month. And that is how you enjoy your life sensibly.

You can't decide how much it's sensible to save each month without doing this I'm afraid. Otherwise the answer is, idk, £1 one month, £3000 another.

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:06

But those things are what the remaining I come is for. Our monthly income is going to be 5k. £900 is essential monthly payments. 1.5k into savings. That leaves us 2600 as just money in the accounts. We will split that in half to cover personal outgoings like fuel, lunches out with friends, clothes etc.

OP posts:
Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:09

Our good shop is about £80 a week. We’re hardly here!

That's a very frugal shop for a family of four if it covers all groceries. Of course it's doable, but it means you're spending pretty much as little as you can to get by. No room for bottles of wine or anything other than basics there.

bibbybox · 12/03/2023 08:10

I agree there needs to be a balance between living for now & saving. Sort out your pension as you have quite a bit to catch up on. When you were not working did you claim child benefit? Have some in short term savings & long term & then enjoy the rest.

Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:11

Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:06

But those things are what the remaining I come is for. Our monthly income is going to be 5k. £900 is essential monthly payments. 1.5k into savings. That leaves us 2600 as just money in the accounts. We will split that in half to cover personal outgoings like fuel, lunches out with friends, clothes etc.

That seems more reasonable and sustainable, and is broadly similar to my family finances pre split from DP.

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:12

Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:09

Our good shop is about £80 a week. We’re hardly here!

That's a very frugal shop for a family of four if it covers all groceries. Of course it's doable, but it means you're spending pretty much as little as you can to get by. No room for bottles of wine or anything other than basics there.

It literally covers weekend food that’s it really. Kids get 3 meals a day at childcare, my husbands a chef so eats at work and I also get fed for free during the week.

Honestly not doing it to be frugal, I am the opposite of frugal.

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 12/03/2023 08:13

Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:06

But those things are what the remaining I come is for. Our monthly income is going to be 5k. £900 is essential monthly payments. 1.5k into savings. That leaves us 2600 as just money in the accounts. We will split that in half to cover personal outgoings like fuel, lunches out with friends, clothes etc.

Ok, sounds good. What’s the issue then? Does your husband not agree with this split?

namechange3394 · 12/03/2023 08:16

Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:06

But those things are what the remaining I come is for. Our monthly income is going to be 5k. £900 is essential monthly payments. 1.5k into savings. That leaves us 2600 as just money in the accounts. We will split that in half to cover personal outgoings like fuel, lunches out with friends, clothes etc.

Ok, but make sure you're not paying for everything child related out of your 1300.

Who's paying for the car MOT? Kids Christmas presents? Home insurance? Car insurance?

bibbybox · 12/03/2023 08:16

We have our personal spends but then save money each month into different things eg long term - kids, retirement & then short term Christmas, holidays.

Tbh if money isn't an issue do you have to work ft? If you've not worked going straight into ft & juggling family life can be hard. But you can spend money on cook, guosto, cabs, eating out, cleaner, gardener etc to make life easier

bibbybox · 12/03/2023 08:18

Kids get 3 meals a day at childcare

are they not in school then? How cheap is your childcare?! 😆

Original poster
Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:18

I work part time but I’m doing a nursing degree as well so I am full time, just not being paid full time.

I like the idea of separate pots for different things, that’s something I will look at doing!

Husband has just never spent money on enjoying himself before and is struggling to change the mindset that he’s allowed to. Lots of issues from his upbringing basically.

OP posts:
Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:19

itssquidstella · 12/03/2023 06:36

School fees! Save it now, spend it on secondary school and uni.

Having sent my children to both private and state schools, I can't think of anything worse to spend my money on than private school fees unless you're truly wealthy (which £5,000 per month isn't).

My children got lots of opportunities and attention at private school, but they're now flourishing at a state school, and the benefits are marginal if anything, certainly not worth paying the £3,500 per month that it would have cost to send my two children!

Beezknees · 12/03/2023 08:20

I'd put £2k a month into savings. Enjoy the rest. Life is for living too.

DanceMonster · 12/03/2023 08:21

Booooot · 12/03/2023 08:18

I work part time but I’m doing a nursing degree as well so I am full time, just not being paid full time.

I like the idea of separate pots for different things, that’s something I will look at doing!

Husband has just never spent money on enjoying himself before and is struggling to change the mindset that he’s allowed to. Lots of issues from his upbringing basically.

We have a slightly higher income than you and we do ‘pots’. It means that when it comes to Christmas etc we don’t have to find it out of our normal monthly income as we already have a pot for it. Same with holidays, kids activities etc. It also means that neither of us are paying more than the other for things like that, as we both put the same amount each month into the pot.

Tuilpmouse · 12/03/2023 08:22

It literally covers weekend food that’s it really. Kids get 3 meals a day at childcare, my husbands a chef so eats at work and I also get fed for free during the week. Honestly not doing it to be frugal, I am the opposite of frugal.

Ok, with all your meals being covered during the week that makes more sense.