Teenage cousins babysitting

[tumtitum]

I'm not sure if my opinion is unreasonable or not! Happy to be told if it is :)
My children are primary school age. Evening babysitting would possible include giving them dinner (depending on the time, but normally they would have been fed etc), so then getting them into PJs, brushing teeth and getting them into bed. For transparency depending on their mood they could go straight to sleep or they could be shouting down the stairs a few times!
They are close to their cousins, who are early teens. they don't see them super frequently but are very comfortable with them.
We keep having a debate about them babysitting. Either at our house or their own. They are not the age that they are out or an evening by themselves, unless a prearrange sleepover or something. My DH (their blood relative) feels that we should pay, and pay the lower end of the going rate of a babysitter around here - £10). For the same price we can pay a professional babysitter.
I feel that if we are going to pay, I want to pay for the qualified childcare! I feel like other cousins in the family would babysit as a favour, if asked (but they don't live close so this isn't an option). I feel like if I was asked when my kids are older I would encourage them to do it unpaid, as a favour to family and to spend time with their cousins.
DH up in arms :)
For reference cousins are well off and have everything they need. I might feel different it extra money was a "treat" for them.
I am also happy to pay a nominal amount, just not £10 an hour!
Would love to know the prevailing opinion :)

My DD's used to get £20 for an evening 10 years ago, plus treats to raid in the fridge/frozen pizza.

It is isn’t where we differ really, as I have said in another post that I would not have somebody else’s 14 year old looking after my young children. (Not that I have young children any more - but when they were young I never would have done this).

It might be different if it were my own 14 year old looking after their own sibling, then at least they would be in their own home and know what was what.

If there is not much to do what would a 'qualified' babysitter do differently to a teenager?

I would pay the same regardless of the person

If they are 14, their only possible job would be delivering newspapers, less than a fiver an hour. Even when 16 they would only get around £7/8 ph. Babysitting is not onerous, they watch TV, game or play on phone, it’s not ‘work’. 4 hours @ £5 for one babysitter is sufficient. If they don’t want it go to your usual babysitter.

Babysitting is a responsible role that involves a good deal of down time but can require a babysitter to deal with fraught situations, clean up body fluids, and be alert even when sitting on the couch watching tv.

You're paying for the peace of mind that you get from knowing that situations that arise will be dealt with, and you're paying for the babysitter's time. They're not doing you a favour out of the goodness of their hearts.

It's not comparable to delivering papers. And it's a piss poor lesson to give to teens that their time and sense of responsibility are barely valued. I'm assuming the cousins here are young women. What a horrible lesson to give them.

My DDs made at least $10 per hour babysitting back in the 2000s in the US. They babysat a lot - they usually had three or four regular families who would call them frequently, with the result that they could make at least a few hundred $$ a month. When they were 16 they were able to get PT jobs in offices and shops with great references from their babysitting clients. The going rate around here now for teenage babysitters is about $20/hour.

The attitude that you can pay young teens poorly doesn't encourage teens to keep on trying to find paying work.

A "qualified" adult would probably have first aid training, and they'd be much better prepared to deal with an emergency, too.

Many would have a license and access to a car - and if not, they'd have access to money so they could pay for a taxi in an emergency. They wouldn't need to wait for you (as in, the parents) to come home in the event a child needed medical treatment - they could take them straight to the hospital.

They'd also be less likely to panic in the event of a "minor" emergency - things like DC being sick, or wetting the bed, or waking up frightened from a nightmare.

None of that means that 14yo's shouldn't babysit - but let's not pretend they're as capable as grown adults.

You should only leave them with teens 16+ as is the law.

If at 16 they do it I'd pay going min wage - £6ish an hour. But you should pay as what possible favour would you pay back to a teen?

£10 is piss nowadays.

An under 16 shouldn't babysit. It's illegal and if a child... chokes? Has a seizure? Will they be able to cope?

It's not clear what the age gap is but I'd suggest if you've got a 10 year old being babysat by an 13 year old (that a few years ago were rolling around the living room together) the gaps too small.
I'm also confused by cousinS. Are you expecting 2 siblings to come? Not sure I'd have wanted to go babysitting with my sister!

You've mentioned favours you've done for their family and not expecting to pay. Children aren't a resource. You don't own them. I would certainly hope my children would have helped out someone close in an emergency or where there's no viable alternative. I wouldn't expect them to help out so you and your husband can go out and don't want to pay for a babysitter.

If you want the cousin choose the most responsible/reliable one and pay them. I'm a lot older now but in the past when I've had or was a babysitter it's generally an older teen girl who will likely bring a boyfriend or friend along. Kids were always fed and often in their PJs. I'd be given a bedtime then off they'd go. Pop my head up once or twice tell em to stop chatting. I'd generally be left some snacks...nothing major, crisps, chocolate. I also got paid. In todays money at age 16 it would be around .£25 and a lift home.

Of course you pay them!

I think the going rate depends on area. My daughter aged 16 babysits and mostly charges £7 or £8 an hour, she's started charging £10 an hour for daytime ie actually interacting with the child not just watching telly. But this only since she's part qualified in childcare. An unqualified inexperienced 13/14 year old people round here expect to pay £5-£6 an hour.

It’s not remotely illegal.

It's not illegal.

Yes to all this - these are all the things I thought but I’d kind of lost the will to post an answer to that question as it seems so bloody obvious to me (although people are pretending it’s not)! So thank you!

You pay them.

You won't get a professional' for £10 for an evening! Unless you were meaning £10 an hour.

My dd will be babysitting her younger cousins when they come for a visit next month and she will be paid.

I used to babysit my cousins and was paid. I was paid £5 and had to pay my taxi out if that (£2.50) but if my aunt and uncle came home after midnight it was £4. They never gave me anymore but my mum did complain to them.

You either trust the cousins to look after your kids, or you don't.

If you don't trust them, you shouldn't be knocking down the price - you shouldn't be using them at all.

If you do trust them, pay them the going rate. They're children. It's a bit weird of an adult to beg a favour off a child - the power balance there isn't even. You can ask a favour from an adult relative but not from a child relative.

If you don’t pay them, they will likely refuse to to come back. So unless you want them to cancel on you at the last minute when you have plans pay them.

NMW doesn't apply to anyone under school leaving age and even then it's only £4.81 @TheSnowyOwl

Is the bit about they don't go out in the evenings implying they don't have anything better to do. It reads like that. You say that it should be about spending time with their cousins, but they are not as yours are in bed. And you say you will pay 10 for professional sitting. What difference for the evening is having professional sitting. If its anything to do with care or safety then you need to think your choices of baby sitter. What would a professional sitter do differently that justifies you thinking 10 is OK for them but not the non professionals.
Anyway, you absolutely should pay them.

Either pay them or don’t use them to babysit. No way can you ask them to do it for free!

I would pay them the going rate and if they are up to it, I would prefer them to a professional for that kind of evening thing.

Incidentally I've found that age of younger teens make great babysitters. They really want to be adult and responsible but are often quite fun for the kids as they still have a sense of play.

Cousin's I would expect want paying. The same if aunt or uncle is a teenager. They could be using that time to be out socialising.

@tumtitum I think the age difference (not much), their actual age (bit too young) & the familiarity makes it a bad idea!

pay a proper babysitter

invite the cousins over for a sleep over!!

Of course you should pay. If their (rich) parents babysat that's another matter. There's no reason why these teens should work for you for free

just to clarify, I meant a sleep over another night, when you're home.

Teen cousins regularly babysit here. £20 and munchies is what they get. They stay over too more often than not. so get a nice breakfast the next morning. We like a cooked breakfast after a night out!