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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please read! Any doctors/nurses/opticians on here?

78 replies

confusedfamilymember · 10/03/2023 22:17

Posted before but posting again for traffic- apologies, hope that’s allowed.

I have a close family member who has been unwell recently. We are worried about her and feel she needs more help than she is getting. We are trying to help as much as possible without stepping on her toes as she is an adult. If anyone can offer any advice or knowledge about what we could do as a family to help her it would be greatly appreciated. I will include all the information I’m aware of.

She would kill me if she knew I was posting on here so I will keep it as anonymous as I can!

She is in her early 20s and has been getting headaches. I’ve seen her with them and it’s awful. She throws up and is almost hitting her head off the wall with the pain. I don’t know how often exactly it happens but it is very regularly. She said it started around summer time. I don’t recall her being prone to headaches or sickness before then. She has had eye tests and she said her eyes are fine apart from finding out she has glaucoma- she had to go to the hospital straight away as the test for glaucoma was so high. She takes medicine for glaucoma now but she said the headaches and sickness are still happening. I believe she has been back to the doctor who told her it was migraine but she said last weekend that the medication she was given has not helped.

As her family we are obviously concerned and hate to see her unwell. I am by no means a healthcare professional but she seems very young to have glaucoma and headaches with sickness.

Incidentally she had a CAT scan after an unrelated injury which was fine. Is it fair to assume they would have picked up any brain problems on that scan? As I said I am not a healthcare professional but as a family we were worried about something serious. Would a CAT scan have ruled this out? Should she be asking for an MRI scan or another test?

She seems happy to involve us and tell us about it, but ultimately it’s her decision what to do going forward. She won’t admit it but I can tell she is feeling down about having no real answers or help. We wanted her to be referred for further help for her headaches but she said that the GP said it wasn’t needed. I don’t know what else they recommended as she hasn’t told me, but she did say that the GP wasn’t worried.

Has anyone any knowledge on this type of thing? Or what we could do as a family to help and support her? She said she feels like she is expected to live with it and these headaches and sickness are now part of her everyday routine. We just want to help her but don’t know the best way forward.

She hasn’t complained about it specifically but as a family we have also noticed how tired she is recently. She’s fit and sporty yet is always napping and dozing now. I know she had a blood test recently which she said was healthy, although she didn’t say what exactly was tested.

I have tried to include as much information as I can, if anyone has any knowledge or experience I would greatly appreciate it. We just want what’s best for her.

OP posts:
TheInterceptor · 10/03/2023 22:20

I don't think you should post on here without her consent. Sorry, I know you must be worried.

Original poster
confusedfamilymember · 10/03/2023 23:32

TheInterceptor · 10/03/2023 22:20

I don't think you should post on here without her consent. Sorry, I know you must be worried.

I tried to keep it as anonymous as I could. I mainly posted as we are all worried and I was hoping someone may have some experience or knowledge about it.

OP posts:
justoneobviously · 10/03/2023 23:34

Posted before but posting again for traffic

Confused that’s not how it works

AbsoIutelyLovely · 10/03/2023 23:40

I would go to GP for blood tests and a referral for a neurologist and pay for a private brain scan off the back of that. It sounds really worrying and you’re not likely to get a prompt answer unless you go privately. I went through this with my mum last year and that’s the route we took.

If you want support and not just snottiness, repost on general health. Everybody knows AIBU is asshole central on MN. Good luck.

pinkbaglady · 10/03/2023 23:49

TheInterceptor · 10/03/2023 22:20

I don't think you should post on here without her consent. Sorry, I know you must be worried.

It’s anonymous 🙄

tropicalmoments · 10/03/2023 23:54

Sounds like cluster headaches. Also known as "suicide headaches" because they are so intense

JackiePlace · 11/03/2023 00:00

Incidentally she had a CAT scan after an unrelated injury which was fine. Is it fair to assume they would have picked up any brain problems on that scan?

Unfortunately that isn't the case, as those scans are only going to show the very specific area of the brain that the doctors want to look at at that point in time.
Get a re-referral and strongly stress the headaches and vomiting. Both are classic symptoms of BT.

And one final word of advice: don't listen to what the GP says and insist on that referral! Most GPs will never see a BT and that is unfortunately their get-out-of-jail-free clause when they fail to diagnose one (even if it's obvious).

You ae a good friend. There may be a long road ahead.

goldengirly · 11/03/2023 00:01

AbsoIutelyLovely · 10/03/2023 23:40

I would go to GP for blood tests and a referral for a neurologist and pay for a private brain scan off the back of that. It sounds really worrying and you’re not likely to get a prompt answer unless you go privately. I went through this with my mum last year and that’s the route we took.

If you want support and not just snottiness, repost on general health. Everybody knows AIBU is asshole central on MN. Good luck.

post the same thread a third time, good idea

Original poster
confusedfamilymember · 11/03/2023 00:02

goldengirly · 11/03/2023 00:01

post the same thread a third time, good idea

Show quote history

This is the 2nd time.

OP posts:
Original poster
confusedfamilymember · 11/03/2023 00:05

JackiePlace · 11/03/2023 00:00

Incidentally she had a CAT scan after an unrelated injury which was fine. Is it fair to assume they would have picked up any brain problems on that scan?

Unfortunately that isn't the case, as those scans are only going to show the very specific area of the brain that the doctors want to look at at that point in time.
Get a re-referral and strongly stress the headaches and vomiting. Both are classic symptoms of BT.

And one final word of advice: don't listen to what the GP says and insist on that referral! Most GPs will never see a BT and that is unfortunately their get-out-of-jail-free clause when they fail to diagnose one (even if it's obvious).

You ae a good friend. There may be a long road ahead.

That’s very helpful (as is the other comment, unfortunately I can’t seem to quote both comments). She is actually a close family member but I only know what she has told me. We are all worried about her and just want what’s best.

OP posts:
Rewind20Years · 11/03/2023 00:08

With the CAT scan they will be looking at the part of the brain where they thought there was an injury

I had a CT scan and a MRI Scan last week because A&E thought i had a stroke
on getting the results from a Neurologist
They failed to see the brain tumour that i have had diagnosed for 2 years (because they wasnt looking for it ) 😣

JackiePlace · 11/03/2023 00:12

She is actually a close family member but I only know what she has told me. We are all worried about her and just want what’s best. I'm very sorry. I hope it turns out to be something much simpler but do go along with her and get it checked out. She may need you in her corner at that GP appointment!

Cakeandcoffee93 · 11/03/2023 00:15

Throwing up and glaucoma - have they ruled out diabetes ? Get them to check her sugars
headavhes are common with hyperglycaemia

MyOldFriendTime · 11/03/2023 00:16

Maybe she needs different meds for the glaucoma?
Has she had blood tests etc? Or been seen by a specialist? She needs to go back to the GP. Tell her to push for an MRI scan with dye, it may well show up something the CAT scan missed, it will put her/your mind at rest anyway.

Incidentally does she take painkillers for these headaches? I had excruciating headaches in my teens, saw a specialist who said to lay off the pain killers for a while as the side effects of them were - headaches 🤔 Did that and it broke the cycle.

Hope she finds out what's causing it soon. Migraines are the worse.

SleepyRich · 11/03/2023 00:40

MyOldFriendTime · 11/03/2023 00:16

Maybe she needs different meds for the glaucoma?
Has she had blood tests etc? Or been seen by a specialist? She needs to go back to the GP. Tell her to push for an MRI scan with dye, it may well show up something the CAT scan missed, it will put her/your mind at rest anyway.

Incidentally does she take painkillers for these headaches? I had excruciating headaches in my teens, saw a specialist who said to lay off the pain killers for a while as the side effects of them were - headaches 🤔 Did that and it broke the cycle.

Hope she finds out what's causing it soon. Migraines are the worse.

Just because a few people have written it and it's a common misconception, (at least in the area I work others may well be different) GPs aren't able to refer directly for MRI or CT. (i'm not a GP but do work in a surgery).

We get patient's coming in all the time saying they've read x or been told y and because of this they need an MRI/won't leave until referred for it - there's often no ability to refer directly, it's a case of referring to the speciality if they meet the criteria, wait to be seen, if they agree to accept the referral, then they'll request the MRI/special tests if they're indicated. This is partly because these tests an expensive and limited resource - the more they're requested the longer the waiting lists become, but it's also to make sure it's the right test and it'll get reviewed by the correct specialist. A great example was the poster saying that she'd had an MRI/ct to investigate a possible stroke but none of the doctors noticed the brain tumour she knew was there/diagnosed with two years previously - they weren't looking for that so didn't see it. Targeted testing to rule in or out diagnosis which is suggested by the history and physical exam is one of he fundamentals of good practice. Over testing doesn't have the positive benefits people would often think.

Not suggesting I have knowledge the patient here needs/does not need an MRI. New onset worst headache ever banging my head against the wall and vomiting would certainly have me concerned for the patient and often not a simple to diagnose the cause of with multiple sinister possibilities.

Nowthenhere · 11/03/2023 01:06

Within the 6 months leading up to the start what changes has she had?

New job (moved from outdoors to indoor job with computers?)
Change in diet?
Went abroad to somewhere exotic risking parasite?
New gym/sports?
Grief from relationships or death?
Has she had leptin tests?

Keepingtomyself · 11/03/2023 01:31

Raised intraocular pressure causes severe headache , nausea and vomiting depending on how high it is . Given she already has a diagnosis of glaucoma I would advise a trip to her optician for a pressure check or visit to a local emergency opthalmic clinic to get this ruled out ...

CallieQ · 11/03/2023 01:32

She should see a medical professional not get advice on MN

sashh · 11/03/2023 08:30

A CAT scan will only look at the part of her body being investigated. So if she had her foot scanned it won't show the brain.

CAT scans are different to X-rays in that they target the particular part of the body eg a Chest X-ray shows lungs, ribs, heart even your boobs all squashed into one image.

A CAT scan can look at just your heart.

Original poster
confusedfamilymember · 11/03/2023 19:24

I believe she had the CAT scan on her head and brain after an injury but I don’t know details about that yet. I’ve seen her take painkillers although I don’t know how often she does and which ones.

OP posts:
JackiePlace · 11/03/2023 23:27

confusedfamilymember · 11/03/2023 19:24

I believe she had the CAT scan on her head and brain after an injury but I don’t know details about that yet. I’ve seen her take painkillers although I don’t know how often she does and which ones.

The scan will have been of a specific area/section of the brain, not the whole thing.

Original poster
confusedfamilymember · 13/03/2023 17:47

Just another bump in case anyone sees this and has any more knowledge or experience.

OP posts:
SecretDoor · 13/03/2023 18:37

www.nhs.uk/conditions/headaches/

Holihobbies · 13/03/2023 19:26

I would second asking if she has had a pressure check review, sometimes standard drops don't work and she may need a change or more aggressive treatment !

Holihobbies · 13/03/2023 19:29

Sounds like acute angle closure glaucoma rather than the more common glaucoma that occurs in older adults.

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