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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, at what age your children stopped having a babysitter?

87 replies

sawseesaw · 10/03/2023 19:48

I'm out late (past midnight) tonight. DD is outraged and says she'd rather be alone and she's too old to have a babysitter.
I'll say how old she is in a bit. Want to see your responses first.

OP posts:
KnottyKnitting · 10/03/2023 20:27

DD1 was 14 and DD212. Both very sensible and we weren't that far away. Neighbours also in and Grandparents round the corner.

sixfoot · 10/03/2023 20:28

14

handsoffate · 10/03/2023 20:29

Dd 14/15
Ds probably 45…

CremeEggThief · 10/03/2023 20:30

11/12 if home quite early (say 10-11 pm) and not too far away.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 10/03/2023 20:30

We left ours last year 12 and 14 together. Rural, no neighbours to call, one of us driving so not dependant on taxis

BevMarsh · 10/03/2023 20:34

I'd leave my 11&13year old dc for a couple of hours on an evening (no longer as they may fight) but after 9pm I'd still have a babysitter.
I think I'd be looking at late 14/15 years old before leaving them after 9pm.

MissingMoominMamma · 10/03/2023 20:35

Until midnight, I think ours were about 14, but we were contactable by mobile.

As a teenager myself, I babysat two girls under 6 for a full weekend at that age, with no mobile phones- and parents didn’t check in!!

FlounderingFruitcake · 10/03/2023 20:38

12 on their own, presuming they’re happy to be left and sensible. 14 to look after younger siblings.

Okunevo · 10/03/2023 20:47

I first left DS home alone late at night at 13.

jumperoobaby · 10/03/2023 20:48

Hard to know. 14 maybe? Although I was baby sitting myself at that age.

clary · 10/03/2023 20:49

I'd say 12 too if they are happy to be left. Usual caveats of having phone, you check in, they lock door.

I'm a bit slack tho so others may say older. But I had a babysitting job as a 14yo.

Okunevo · 10/03/2023 20:49

10pm was my limit until DS was 13.

DumpedByText · 10/03/2023 20:51

I leave my 15 year on her own until midnight, she'd rather be on her own. I wouldn't leave her overnight though.

FlutterbButterfly · 10/03/2023 20:53

Hayliebells · 10/03/2023 19:54

You can be an actual babysitter at 14 so I guess then? Not that I’d actually employ a 14 year old babysitter (siblings would be different) to look after young kids, even if you can, but a 14 year old with no one younger to look after would be OK I think.

No you can't....unless you are an unpaid relative

Rinkydinkydoodle · 10/03/2023 20:55

Depends on the child and the location. At fourteen I’d say they’re probably too old to be babysat. At thirteen, yeah okay, if they’re sensible and don’t start cooking or anything. I was left alone for the odd evening at about ten/eleven and clearly didn’t die but it was the early nineties and I think probably a lot of people would say that was too young now.

Briallen · 10/03/2023 20:58

14

Duvethider · 10/03/2023 21:02

I’m reading this and getting quite excited at the prospect of me and DH being able to go out without a babysitter in 9 years time when DS is older! seems like a luxury!!

I moved into my own flat at 17, was definitely being left overnight alone from 13, but my parents were a little negligent so I’d say 14/15 for being left overnight. Would leave until midnight at maybe 13. Really does depend on the child tho. Im quite keen to try to encourage independence so perhaps my suggested ages are younger than what other people might feel comfortable with.

Chocolateydrink · 10/03/2023 21:10

My eldest is (newly) 15 and I'd still get an adult to babysit. My youngest is 10 though which is why we need a babysitter, in theory I'd leave my teenagers alone for a night out. When DD1 turns 16 and DS is 11 then I'll stop using a babysitter.

Freshbouqet · 10/03/2023 21:11

I used to babysit my brother and cousins all night when I was 12. I don’t think I’d have known what to do in an emergency or had the sense to check doors or fire hazards until around 14 though realistically. I stayed home for a few hours during the day from around age 8 and that was fine.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/03/2023 21:14

Surely most 13/14 year olds are competent enough to rustle up some toast or bung something in the microwave if they get hungry in the evening. Presumably they will have a proper meal before you go out. How many teenagers start cooking a meal as a snack of an evening

TenoringBehind · 10/03/2023 21:31

Secondary school age

tillyoumakeit · 10/03/2023 21:39

Chocolateydrink · 10/03/2023 21:10

My eldest is (newly) 15 and I'd still get an adult to babysit. My youngest is 10 though which is why we need a babysitter, in theory I'd leave my teenagers alone for a night out. When DD1 turns 16 and DS is 11 then I'll stop using a babysitter.

I have a similar age gap and I have recently started leaving my two if we go out for the evening. They've been absolutely fine.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 10/03/2023 21:42

My 2 DC left together....probably 25

Christ only on MN 🤣Wink

Cordeliathecat · 10/03/2023 21:42

I have an 11 year old and a 13 year old. I’ll leave them to pop for a quicker dinner down the road. But when we go into town for a bigger night and know we’re going to be late back (after midnight) I always get a sitter although they hate it.

I think in a couple of years when the youngest is 13 I’ll probably stop getting sitters altogether.

NuffSaidSam · 10/03/2023 21:50

Sometimes I think you need to start at 18, the age at which many will leave home to go to University and be almost completely independent and work backwards.

Not being left after 9pm at 15....complete independence 3 years later? I think there's something off with the logic there.