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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried or should I just give my head a wobble !

84 replies

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 09:42

Ok- I don’t know if I need to just stop worrying or if there is genuine reason here

Im getting married in three weeks , wedding was booked in September and we are having a small intimate country venue with 40 guests (second time round for me ) and decided a vintage afternoon tea would be a lovely wedding breakfast (we aren’t having an evening do )
The venue gave me a few recommendations based on catering that previous weddings had , they have a favourite supplier but they didn’t provide a vintage afternoon tea .
I booked a local company who have been around a few years and also had a popular well visited tea room so we went for a tasting and decided it was all perfect and booked .

From the get go communication was poor and I wish I’d taken heed of this now .
to start she took weeks to email our confirmation after I’d paid the deposit and had put us down for the wrong menu , I emailed to let her know and it took two weeks before I got a response saying she’d send an amended confirmation but it didn’t arrive .
I sent two emails asking her to confirm receipt of my deposit and received nothing . Tried to call but just got an EE voicemail .

I sent a message via the Fb page and had s response to confirm two days later , did think even then that communication seemed poor but having now paid my deposit and unable to find anyone else that could provide the same service , I tried not to worry as past reviews re their catering had been excellent

I emailed in January to ask when final numbers for food were required , a one line response came through two days later saying “a month before “ That was it !
I then emailed back advising the plan to have the food buffet style had changed and received no response what so ever .

So a month to the wedding I email confirming numbers , dietary requirements and to ask a few questions . No response after 48 hours , the weekend goes by , no response , so I follow it up with another email and 48 hours goes by with no response .
feeling anxious I try to call, EE voicemail again, I leave a message , another day goes by .
Finally I decide to send a message via Instagram , 48 hours later it’s read . She says sorry she’s having email issues and asks me to email a different address and promises to call me Monday morning.
No phone call arrives but a rushed email asking me to confirm a few details and asking about the layout for buffet style despite me emailing previously to say this has changed .
I email back and ask her to confirm receipt , nothing , that was Monday .
Since we booked they’ve closed their tea room and rebranded as a catering only business and set up a new website

Full balance is due on 25th but the one page confirmation I was sent last year says full balance is due if cancelled after 4th March , however I’m pretty much feeling that there’s a chance they won’t turn up !
So my question is No I’m not BU to be anxious and possibly cancel (and can she pursue me for the balance )
or yes I am BU , this is normal and I’m being over anxious

OP posts:
Stillcountingbeans · 08/03/2023 12:36

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 08/03/2023 11:46

"Dear Ms Flaky Pastries
You have not responded to emails or voicemails concerned my booking for DATE.
I have become increasingly concerned about your lack of response to messages sent on [LIST ALL DATES YOU CONTACTED HER] & have reached the conclusion that as you have refused to confirm my booking, let alone discuss the arrangements, that you are no longer providing the service.
Your total lack on communication means I can no longer have any confidence that you will fulfill your obligations, so I am formally terminating the booking."

If she pushes back (suspect this will galvanise her into finally contacting you!), just stick to your guns. Let her know that you know she went into liquidation & therefore doesn't have a leg to stand on, repeat that her service was non-existent, & that suppliers who refuse to communicate about their service are in breach of contract, so she is terminated.

This is excellent advice.
You can't trust her, the relationship has broken down, so unless you cancel and find another supplier now, you will be on edge and anxious right up until the day. You don't need that stress.

Send her a formal letter of cancellation, giving all the relevant dates and details of your complaint. Keep all evidence. You have only then lost the £100. Don't pay her any more.
If she wants to dispute it, she will have to take you to the small claims court, but she won't as she knows she will lose.

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 12:37

user1492757084 · 08/03/2023 12:34

Time to meet in person. Insist upon it.
Ask for confirmation in perspn of the details and agree that you paid a deposit.
Ask where they have recently catered etc.
See photos and reviews with names. Check a couple that they are bona fide.
Your fears should not be overlooked.
The company should be able to meet you.

I did meet her at the beginning when we attended the tasting session

OP posts:
Fancysauce · 08/03/2023 12:38

If you go onto companies House and click on filing history you should be able to download all their company accounts and see changes of address etc - send your letters out to the company's address.

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 12:40

Fancysauce · 08/03/2023 12:38

If you go onto companies House and click on filing history you should be able to download all their company accounts and see changes of address etc - send your letters out to the company's address.

Yes I’ve seen that , I’ve actually found their old address which is their home address the new address I think is an accountant or liquidator three hours away .

OP posts:
Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 12:41

No not as yet

OP posts:
Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 12:42

Oops my previous post was supposed to be a reply to a poster asking if I’d agreed menus yet

OP posts:
Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 12:43

Fancysauce · 08/03/2023 12:35

Id contact them on every avenue you have available to cancel. Id ask for the return of the deposit due to their conduct and the business no longer exists. Is there a company number anywhere on your contract? That's the company you had a contract with, not this new company - the new one is a separate legal entity. Id cancel her and book the new one.

There’s no company number in the contract just the business name which despite the headed paper having their old logo on, is in the new business name

OP posts:
Adrieeeeenne · 08/03/2023 17:10

What a pain for you! They sound hopeless with comms. You may not be able to post on their company Facebook page but is there a local area group (the ones where people complain about dog poo and speed cameras 😆) that you can ask “Does anybody know how to get in touch with XXX? We have a booking but having trouble making contact..”. Or if you search for them on FB do you see any posts from/to them in same spirit? Imagine you’re not alone in your experience!

Tillow4ever · 08/03/2023 17:19

What a nightmare! I don’t blame you for being nervous.

with regards to Facebook, wrote a public post on your own wall and tag their company name maybe? Or post in local Facebook groups as suggested by someone else - ask if anyone’s used them, etc.

The suggested letter further back was excellent and I would use that. If she tries to take you to court, you’d only have to say you’ve been trying to reach her for months to confirm they received your deposit and therefore are holding your booking - and when you didn’t get that you assumed it meant they had not, so you’ve been trying to get your money back. They can hardly prove otherwise given their lack of responses.

For your peace of mind, book someone else and definitely send something formally confirming that due to their lack of communications, you have assumed they did not take the booking, and this letter is a courtesy on the small chance they had booked you in or something like that!

Citylifemum · 08/03/2023 17:34

100% book the alternative caterers now, and treat that as your priority. Once booked in, send the formal letter suggested above to the Flaky Pastries Company. Send it via snail mail and via email. Do NOT pay them anymore money, and reconcile yourself to the £100 lost being a close shave.

Then stop thinking about them and enjoy your wedding!

EmbraceTheGrace · 08/03/2023 17:37

I think for piece of mind you need to go with the other company, anyone who cares about their business wouldnt work like this especially to a couple getting married, you don't need the extra stress

Mumsanetta · 08/03/2023 18:18

@Rockschooldropout I think I know the business you are talking about. Is it run by sisters? If it’s the right business, I placed an order with them a couple of weeks ago at the last minute and they were super responsive.

I would cancel your order and ask for your money back. Set out very clearly in your email the reasons you are cancelling and provide examples. They will hopefully be embarrassed by how shocking their customer service has been. I would also leave a Google review and put a post up on the local Facebook group as if it’s the business I’m thinking of they post on there to drum up business.

If we are talking about the same business, send me a PM and I will give you the email address I used. Incidentally, I have the collection address from that order but not sure turning up at their home will help.

Mumsanetta · 08/03/2023 18:23

I should add that their food is incredible and they have always been a pleasure to deal with. This doesn’t excuse their poor customer service this time round but it is very strange!

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 19:14

Mumsanetta · 08/03/2023 18:18

@Rockschooldropout I think I know the business you are talking about. Is it run by sisters? If it’s the right business, I placed an order with them a couple of weeks ago at the last minute and they were super responsive.

I would cancel your order and ask for your money back. Set out very clearly in your email the reasons you are cancelling and provide examples. They will hopefully be embarrassed by how shocking their customer service has been. I would also leave a Google review and put a post up on the local Facebook group as if it’s the business I’m thinking of they post on there to drum up business.

If we are talking about the same business, send me a PM and I will give you the email address I used. Incidentally, I have the collection address from that order but not sure turning up at their home will help.

I don’t think so 🤔 it seems to be a husband and wife team , based in The Cotswolds ?

OP posts:
IWineAndDontDine · 08/03/2023 19:41

Same thing happened with me, super unreliable caterers/venue and the last straw was when we finally got a date in to finalise and she never turned up, queue another excuse. So I had to fins another venue, in summer, the first one after covid.. was stressful but I'd found another one in a day. Could you do the same? This sounds like more hassle than it's worth and it's clearly making you anxious. The relief I felt after I sorted the new venue...

User3936493947 · 08/03/2023 21:00

OP was the tea room in Devon before they went to outside catering only?

Godlovesall26 · 08/03/2023 21:10

Stillcountingbeans · 08/03/2023 12:36

This is excellent advice.
You can't trust her, the relationship has broken down, so unless you cancel and find another supplier now, you will be on edge and anxious right up until the day. You don't need that stress.

Send her a formal letter of cancellation, giving all the relevant dates and details of your complaint. Keep all evidence. You have only then lost the £100. Don't pay her any more.
If she wants to dispute it, she will have to take you to the small claims court, but she won't as she knows she will lose.

Completely agree with these two posts.

3 weeks away is a disaster waiting to happen.

You’ve found an alternative, go for it, and hope you enjoy your day !

Blablablanamechangagain · 08/03/2023 21:22

Cut your losses and walk away.
Any business who restricts comments on their business page is used to getting poor feedback IME.

I wouldn't even send them a letter, I'd just let them come crawling out the woodwork.

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 21:42

IWineAndDontDine · 08/03/2023 19:41

Same thing happened with me, super unreliable caterers/venue and the last straw was when we finally got a date in to finalise and she never turned up, queue another excuse. So I had to fins another venue, in summer, the first one after covid.. was stressful but I'd found another one in a day. Could you do the same? This sounds like more hassle than it's worth and it's clearly making you anxious. The relief I felt after I sorted the new venue...

Oh god that sounds really stressful !
Ive sourced an alternative so I’m going to sit and write an email tomorrow

OP posts:
Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 21:45

User3936493947 · 08/03/2023 21:00

OP was the tea room in Devon before they went to outside catering only?

No it was in the Cotswolds

OP posts:
Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 21:46

Godlovesall26 · 08/03/2023 21:10

Completely agree with these two posts.

3 weeks away is a disaster waiting to happen.

You’ve found an alternative, go for it, and hope you enjoy your day !

Yes I feel it is too .. it’s just too risky

OP posts:
IWineAndDontDine · 08/03/2023 22:23

Rockschooldropout · 08/03/2023 21:42

Oh god that sounds really stressful !
Ive sourced an alternative so I’m going to sit and write an email tomorrow

Good for you, you will feel much better for it!

IndysMamaRex · 09/03/2023 00:27

sadly I think you need to cut your losses

I’d email & advise due to their poor communication you have to cancel.

have you signed anything or got a receipt for your deposit? If not then they can’t chase you for any money. They wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on even if they did try

Rockschooldropout · 09/03/2023 11:43

IndysMamaRex · 09/03/2023 00:27

sadly I think you need to cut your losses

I’d email & advise due to their poor communication you have to cancel.

have you signed anything or got a receipt for your deposit? If not then they can’t chase you for any money. They wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on even if they did try

I did have to return a signed contract but didn’t receive a receipt for the deposit

OP posts:
Godlovesall26 · 10/03/2023 10:02

@Rockschooldropout Id just follow the advice of PP re leaving a strong worded e-mail trace re your issues with them, and leave it to the side for now. I doubt they’ll suddenly become extremely responsive, and even if they do, it won’t paint them in the best light. 3 weeks before a wedding is subpar beyond anyone’s standards. Then until after the wedding, completely ignore, enjoy your day, have fun with the new option (it should be fun choosing all the new tea options!!). Your wedding sounds absolutely lovely btw💚