Part time working

[Jezbop23]

Sorry it's not really an AIBU as such but I'm thinking of going PT due to the rising price of childcare and my own mental health at least temporarily while they are small. I hate that 5 days a week I only see the kids about 2 hours max a day (awake time) and it is shit (they're 2.5 and 1).

I'm just wondering if you work part time hours what do you do for you? (if anything) and what do you do with the kids as well?

I have a 3.5 year old and work 4 days per week. He's home with me on the other day. If I'm honest, it's a slog. I love him a lot but my 'day off' is pretty exhausting (a mix of errands, activities, trips to the park). It's fine and I know I should appreciate it more but I find it tough going on my mental health. I have far more time for myself on the days when I work eg being able to listen to a podcast while working or read a book on my commute. It depends somewhat on the nature of your work though.

I work 0.8 and I don’t really do anything just for me, if it was just for me it wouldn’t be worth paying the cost of losing the day’s work. Before DD started school it was for us to have a day together in the week to do things like swimming lessons and visit places that are much quieter and better without big children there. Now she’s in reception I use the time I don’t work to be able to flex my hours to do the school drop off every day and pick up 2 days, as well as being able to go in for class events and volunteer as a parent helper on school trips. I’ll probably look to return to full time when she’s older, I don’t have a particular hobby or anything to spend the time doing and I’d rather have the money to put towards paying the mortgage off sooner.

I have a 16 yo and a 10 yo. I was a SAHM til they went to school and ever since have worked 18 hours a week over 2.5 days.

I have always been able to drop them to primary school (and can work the route so as I can drop DD to high school if ever necessary, e.g. during COVID) DH collects the kids when I'm working cos he WFH. My work is flexible so I never miss an assembly or sports day either, as long as i give enough notice.

It means I get to take the kids to any extra curriculars they have, am on hand for homework, always have time to cook from scratch etc.

Before they went to school, if id have been working PT, I'd have found playgroups or stuff at the library or swimming etc to take the kids to on my days off.

Now theyre older, i have 2.5 days to myself so I can get housework done, go to the gym, do hobbies etc while they're in school.

I honestly think PT work is the way forward.

OP, I am curious why you decided to go back FT in the first place? Is it worries about your career and pension, or more about not knowing what to do with the kids?

Is your husband supportive?

I've worked PT since Dd9 was born. Dp works full time so we have always been able to juggle childcare between us with occasional help from family. It works for us, but I could never go back to full time now!

I work 18 hours over three days, means I am able to do all drop offs and pick ups for my 6 year old. The two days I am not in work, I sort the house out, get the shopping, catch up on home admin, organise any appts I need for those days as well. It’s perfect for us atm.

Sorry, posted too soon! To be honest, I don't do much for myself. I catch up with friends and family on days off, do the chores, read, and try and spend quality time with Dd.

I work 0.8. The other day is as a pp above - swimming with the DC, play dates, crafts at home. But it is tiring.

Once DC are at school in September, I shall remain 0.8 and use my day off to go swimming properly, so a bit of housework and study for my accounting qualification. And go for a leisurely coffee!

@Dacadactyl yeah husband is fully supportive, he's been encouraging whichever the decision but he's also struggling with the kids always being away (he wfh).

It was a mixture of things really. Fear of losing a career i've only just started, money, pension etc too.

I got a new job during Mat leave, I was completely burnt out after maternity leave from being home 7 days a week with both kids, the eldest was a really bad sleeper too. I think I just completely over estimated what it would be like going from full time parent to full time work.

Other than what husband can get done in between work the house is always at least half in a tip and laundry coming out our ears but come the weekend we're both knackered and either just want to sleep and/or do stuff with the kids or have to do food shopping etc.

Thanks everyone so far.

Neither of the kids have been swimming yet so that would be a good idea. Though could I actually take both at once?

I was hoping I could use a bit of time to learn to drive, meal prep and other chores so that the weekend would then be free of that stuff so we could actually properly enjoy time as a family of 4. If that makes sense.

@Jezbop23 makes perfect sense to me. If you can afford to do it, I'd recommend it. There's no down sides for me, other than iv not got a career or a good pension, just a run of the mill job. But I'm always glass half full, so I'm not concerned about the money side of things. There'll be plenty of time for me to make up for lost time once my youngest is 18.

I worked two evenings a week and Saturday mornings. I got paid enhancements for unsocial hours and was always around during school holidays, sickness etc. I would do the odd bank holiday such at the May half term Monday and get treble time and then book the rest of the week off.

In my experience, you’ll only really get time for yourself if you have the kids in childcare some of the hours that you are at home, which obviously isn’t going to save you money. I’m not sure how you could learn to drive with kids there?

I work 21 hours over 4 days, and it’s brilliant, I can do all school drop offs and pick ups, I can be flexible and work a bit in the evening if I want to go to a class assembly etc at school, and I have one day off with my youngest. I do find though that by the time we’ve done an activity (eg toddler group, soft play, trip to park or forest, local farm etc) and had lunch, it’s almost time for school pick up, so most housework/chores etc still ends up being done whilst the kids are home.

The only time I have for me is if I take a day off in the week whilst kids are at school/childminder (though so often one of them ends up ill and home with me!), or if I arrange something at the weekend and DH has them.

I work 4 days and do 30 hours

@Dacadactyl will be a bit shit money wise but it'll be more than I was on during Mat leave and about £500 more than what have from paying nursery so not completely awful.

Just hope my employers are onboard with it as would mean I still have my hand in a decent job with great progression routes once the kids are older. Plus I really like the new job.

Thank you for your reply.

Theoretically I work 4 days and 26 hours - 2 short days and 2 long.

I can collect the kids 3 times a week and twice PIL collect them.

However I’ve been FT for a while to plug gaps which should be resolved soon.

Both of my boys are autistic and I’m exhausted tbh. I’d love to just not have to work for a while.

I do 28 hours over 4 days, but work three longer days and a shorter one so I do school pick up on two days. The kids only have a half day of school on Friday but those three hours are GOLDEN! I get my hair cut, go for a walk or to the gym, meet friends - and I have a cleaner once a fortnight and she can only come on Friday morning which is ace - I don’t have to clean on my day off!

Before they are school age then your days off will be busy but if you can get into a routine with cleaning, playgroups /activities, dinner prep etc then your evenings can be free and when dh gets home you can go out and do something for you. And as you say, it will also make family weekends much more relaxed and less chore focused. It comes at a cost to your career but honestly I wouldn't swap it for the time I've spent with you dc.

I do 0.9 over 4 days in a fairly senior role. I have one day with DD (2.5) and as others have said, I have no time to myself, especially as I do long days & some evenings to get everything done. I also solo parent one weekend day as DP works Sundays to save us on childcare (this way we only pay for 2 days and we both work 4 days). I'm holding on to the fact DD will get her funding in Sept so we can up her hours and we will both get a morning to ourselves.

The day I have with DD we do a food shop after the morning school run, go swimming, have lunch, pop some washing on then it's time for afternoon school run so as PP I don't really have time for chores on that day!

4 days if you can cope with it keeps you in the "full-time" box as far as work are concerned, and is financially not too much of a hit, especially if you can do compressed hours. IMO, 3 days is seen as "part-time" and can hamper career progression etc - but that v much depends on where you work. Only you can decide what balance you think will work.

@IceCreamWithSprinkles that's what I was thinking anyway, doing the washing/cooking/cleaning just on a day off while the kids are running about/can help with age appropriate bits.

Learning to drive i could maybe do as husband is wfh but is completely flexible so he could have the kids for an hour and take that as his lunch break regardless of time or make up the hours of an evening as that's what his colleagues do/he did during my Mat leave and while I was pregnant. Both kids still nap too so could do it round nap times if needed. Well oldest doesn't reliably nap now just some days he wants to others he just wants quiet time but husband could take over for a bit for a driving lesson.

Obviously other than a driving lesson the rest of the time would be house things and toddler activities/adventures but I'm okay with that. As really at present my Saturdays and Sunday's are literally spent out for a walk, cleaning, Asda/Tesco/Lidl, the park, or sat on the floor of the living room playing with cars.

i work 21 hours over 3 days atm. Going back full time 35 over 5 days this summer. I wfh so I’ll still be able to drop off and pick up which is a bonus. On the two days I’m off with my children through the week we either visit family/ friends who are also off that day, park, shops, play groups etc just try and mix it up as staying in is not an option!! They are climbing the walls if we stay home. Don’t get much me time but it’s saves on childcare and I feel like I’ve been here a lot for my children which I’m grateful for

I'm thinking 3 days for me so properly part time. Career progression I'm happy to wait for until they are older if I then decide to go back to full time.

It's good to have ideas of others schedules now. Thank you. so I know a bit more of what to expect. I love being out at work as PP said as well I can read on the commute, listen to a podcast and/or enjoy a hot coffee straight away but at the minute 5 days being out of the house before 8 and not home until after 6 every day is making me feel like I'm drowning a bit in both home life and my job.

I've done 22 hours a week over 3 days for 7 years, and next month I'm changing jobs and doing 30 hours over 5 days.

I personally haven't enjoyed doing 3 days a week. I thought it would be the best of both worlds, but it was the worst of both tbh.

I felt that I wasn't working enough and that I was missing out on things the days I wasn't in the office. The pandemic compounded that. My boss was very good, but my full time colleagues subconsciously expected me to do a similar amount of work to them. Events and training courses inevitably happen on days you're not in the office and it's often impossible to go to them because you can't change your childcare days.

Then on the other side I was spending 4 days at home, but I found looking after toddlers relentless, and certainly never had the chance to do much housework on my days off work. In fact, I have more time to do it now when I wfh in my lunch break. I have a desk job, so i'm not knackered from being on my feet all day like I was with toddlers.

Mind you, I had an unsupportive partner, so that didn't help either. I'm a single parent now, but at least I now know it's all done to me 😂

I work part time, Mon, Tues and Weds. My little boy goes to a childminder on Mon and Tues and on a Wednesday he is either with my mum or MIL. Sometimes on a Wednesday I work at my mums house so I can see a bit more of him. On my days off we go to soft play, go visit family, shopping, anything we fancy really. Some days we might not leave the house! It seems to work for us atm, I do wanna work more hours soon though.

Watching with interest. I go back in July and have asked my employer for 0.7 over 3.5 days including some evening work. Not sure what they will accept and I can afford to drop to 3 if the .5 doesn't work. I'd potentially stay at home for another year if it wasn't for my pension and worrying another year out would be detrimental. I always change my mind!