Do people still say thank you?

[unicornjewels]

NC for this. I'm a teacher of P7 (Year6) and last week my class took part in a lovely event on an evening with other schools, think high profile show. Didn't get home until 10pm that night, didn't see my DC at all that day as they were in bed before I left and when I got home.
At the end of the event when the children were collected, not one parent said thank you. It's been playing oh my mind and I think it really stinks. AIBU? Have we lost the use of manners or should I not expect a thank you?!

Oh no, that's such a shame. I definitely would have said thank you.

I say thank you, probably more than i should or need to! But at events like this, I have been known to b sooo tired and grumpy that I forget. I know that's no excuse, as no doubt you are even tireder :( but maybe that was the reason? Parents focused on collecting children and getting into the warm car and home, and their manners escaped them due to this?

Sorry you weren't thanked. I'm sure the parents and kids appreciated your efforts though. You might have a few email thank you's drop in in the coming days when parents wake up and find time. Or maybe it'll be an end of year thank you for everything you've done all year, rather than an individual thank you for an individual event 💐

We've increasingly noticed this after lots of school events. Recently we took the children on a residential week and only a handful of the parents collecting their children thanked the staff.

I'd make an effort to thank you on the night or the next morning, if I could find you. If I couldn't find you I wouldn't email or anything. If DC really really enjoyed it, they'd want to make you a thank you card & if they felt you personally organised/enabled it, they want to take you a (small) gift too.

How have the kids been? Excited to talk about it, or business as usual?

I'm not a school teacher, but I do work with kids and I have taught myself to just enjoy their 'buzz' or 'thanks' & not expect anything from the parents, not even common decency!

IME, no. Last year I accompanied a school trip abroad, a week. Out of 50 parents, 2 came over to say thank you on collection.

Whaaat?? That's so out of order

It really is the norm sadly!

You can guarantee that the parents who don’t say thank you are the first ones to complain about the lack of residential trips and extra curricular activities available when teachers decide they’re not giving up their free time anymore.

That's awful how rude,
mine are adults but I always thanked teachers/school staff at pick ups from events or whatever.

What do you think has made parents like this ?

I think people do still say thank you and I don’t think we’ve lost the use of manners.

This must have just been something about the particular event/circumstances.

Thanks for all your replies. I appreciate parents would be most concerned with getting DC home safely especially on a late night.
I am the sort of person who ensures I say thank you, probably more than I need to as PP mentioned.
I just think it's common decency. These are parents DC we've been looking after for hours on a night after all.

Yes, and I expect my DD4 to thank her teachers at the end of every day. Old fashioned maybe, but it's important

I always say thank you either in person or via dojo etc (work f-t so dd in wraparound care). Genuinely grateful for the amazing support my daughter gets all the time - but then I always get concerned that they think I'm a weirdo sycophantic creep....

That made me laugh!
Always appreciated I assure you!!

That’s awful! I would’ve thanked you and would’ve made my DC do so too.

Could it be everyone was just too exhausted to realise? Not an excuse, but I’m just wondering why!

I mean a quick thank you "Ms unicorn* wouldn't hurt, I don't understand why they just collect and go!

Not sure. Is it just expected that these events/trips happen and it's part of the job maybe?!

I don’t know… I volunteered with girl guides and we didn’t get thanked particularly for doing things with the girls like days out/camps etc, but I didn’t really expect a thank you? I volunteered because I enjoyed it. Also I could see (and now as a parent I know) that parents are busy, knackered and often have a lot of admin/events for their DC so can feel a bit overwhelmed and that might not make them entirely grateful there’s another event/trip/thing to remember!? Hopefully the kids enjoyed themselves though.

I think that's lovely. My DD is in nursery but when she tells me about so and so helping her open her packed lunch and I ask if she said thank you, she often says 'she forgot' and I remind her every time about saying thank you.

Sadly this is the norm - entitled parents who overlook the fact they have a role in educating their children in manners

Very few have a clue the work and affirm that go into this work and yes they are the ones who complain that whatever you do is never enough
You learn not to expect thanks ( sadly)

Maybe just entitlement I mean you teachers are rolling in dosh and of course you get all those holidays so it's fine to work a late night 😉.

No, I think just lacking in manners. The event was lovely.

You are probably right. I was definitely exhausted!! 🤣

🤣

I do think this is probably it.

I mean, here on MN we there's been so many threads about teachers, that most of us will know this sort of thing isn't part of the job.

But I think a lot of people not 'in the know', might assume you'll be getting paid extra, just as you would if you worked in the private sector.

Still no excuse for not saying a quick thank you though.