Do people still say thank you?

[unicornjewels]

NC for this. I'm a teacher of P7 (Year6) and last week my class took part in a lovely event on an evening with other schools, think high profile show. Didn't get home until 10pm that night, didn't see my DC at all that day as they were in bed before I left and when I got home.
At the end of the event when the children were collected, not one parent said thank you. It's been playing oh my mind and I think it really stinks. AIBU? Have we lost the use of manners or should I not expect a thank you?!

Would absolutely say thank you, and I think at my DC school it would be very normal to see parents having a chat and thanking at events etc.

I too wonder if I'm seen as creepy when I've messaged on the school app to say thanks for a particular thing (eg teacher was lovely when my DC was sick and very embarrassed recently)

They loved it and talked about it the next day, but back to normal now. I think the kids loved it, which at the end of the day, is the most important thing.

As much as I joke teachers get long holidays, I always thank them for parents evening, events, trips etc. My DS is going on a trip aboard with the school soon and know the teachers will barely be getting sleep, as its basically only 1 night in a hotel and 2 nights in a coach. I have no idea how they do it.

Anyway I think people are generally just getting ruder and self absorbed- I notice it alot in everyday life especially since covid.

Yes, I agree with you sadly.

I personally wouldn't see you as creepy, but rather an appreciative, supportive parent.

I always say thank you, manners cost nothing.

This is the norm in teaching and absolutely not an exception. Parents are quick to complain but rare to thank or show appreciation after late night events, residentials etc. It's rare a parent actually stops and thinks about how much of their own time teachers give up for free!!!! Another thing to add to the list of reasons why people are leaving. It all boils down to the culture of zero respect for teachers we have in this country- which has been caused by government disdain for teachers and the media.

Wow that's terrible. I always do. It may have been that they were just tired, but I'd be feeling pretty disappointed about it

Too true!

You would've got home a lot later than 10 if you'd had to speak to 30 parents queuing up to thank you!

Honestly I think most people collecting a probably overtired child from an evening event are going to be focused on getting home as quickly as possible.

But I don’t think you can extrapolate from that to say that no one says thank you anymore and that people don’t have manners any more. Everywhere I go: shops, hospitality venues, buses, work, healthcare and other public services, home delivery services - people usually say thank you at the end of the interaction.

You can say that people don’t thank teachers for extra-curricula events, but that’s all. IMO.

It takes seconds to say thank you. Could say it as I handed their child over. Wouldn't have made any difference to the time I got home.

I volunteer at my school for Duke of Edinburgh - lunchtimes, after school and the occasional weekend. On the first day of training the DoE rep. thanked us all for volunteering and assured us we wouldn’t get a thank you from any of the pupils or parents. I thought he was joking. He was correct!

I often wonder if parents don’t realise we’re volunteering?

Even if you're not volunteering, I'd still say thank you! I thank the swimming teacher every session and she cost a bloody fortune. People are assholes 😒

I would have, and, if I hadn't witnessed any of my dc thanking you as they got off the coach, I'd have sent them back too.
Sadly though, it does seem to be coming increasingly rare.
We find the same in the voluntary sector too. Parents very quick to complain if something hasn't gone the way they want, but so rarely come and thank the Leaders for camps, events, activities and evening meetings.

Ran a trip to the theatre two weeks ago. Not only were we not thanked, but my colleague and I waiting with one student for an hour (so didn’t leave school until after midnight) because their parents didn’t collect them and we couldn’t get through as they were asleep.

I always say thank you - after each Y6 residential (4 children), I bought a case of wine so each teacher could take a bottle home as a thank you. I also make sure my children thank their teachers when they get off a coach/get back from a trip.

I also email teachers to thank them for organising foreign trips...there are a couple of big ones my boys are going on this year and I know that it has taken hours of organisation.

I think people are increasingly entitled and selfish. I have been part of my boys' school PTA for over 10 years now, and there is an increasingly lack of courtesy at school events when I help on stalls/in the cafe/ at the BBQ. 😔

Teachers rarely get thanked after school trips, and you can bet your bottom dollar that prior to that coach door opening the trip leader has made sure every child has thanked the driver. Parents think it’s a jolly for the teachers and they’ve had as enriching experience as the kids…shortsighted.

I think it's as bad as when people say 'thank you' in a slightly high pitched voice and wobble their heads. You know they don't mean it!

They don’t.
DC was at a birthday party a couple of years ago and the host wrote ‘thank you all for coming. It’s near the end of term and everyone is busy and tired so there won’t be thank you notes for the gifts- but thank you from us.’ So absolutely don’t be expecting thank yous from the next generation when their parents don’t teach it.

I really notice that The Land of Good Manners (how we thought of the UK when I was growing up in the States) no longer exists. Please and thank you go unsaid, along with apologies. It’s a new mentality. Though my hunch is that outside of London, manners are better. Londoners are just plain rude. I’ve been here 25 years and good manners have evaporated.

I never do anything to expect a thank you. But I only do things I want to or contractually obligated to do. The satisfaction or payment is thanks enough.

I feel like I'm someone who always says thank you for everything. I certainly appreciate my kids teachers.

However, was this a trip to a show or were the kids participating? If the kids were participating I don't know if it would necessarily occur to people to thank you as maybe it's seen as a joint effort? There would have been commitment on the part of the kids for rehearsals and things.
Anyway, I hope your head teacher and leadership team appreciate your commitment op!