One friend who never really comes/goes to celebrations or out that much…

[TabooOfNoSex]

Is it weird?
I know, she has told me and other closest friends that she’s introverted. Likes and rather spend time either 1on1 or in small, quiet, easy going group.

Of course we’ll all different.

But to never go to wedding, parties, clubs/bars.. etc.

Is it really enough for her?

Yep. I'm fine. Really hate going out with a passion. Can't think of anything worse tbh.

Already stressed about a wedding I have to attend in June. Literally making me feel ill about having to go. I"m sure I'll be ok once I"m there but it's my idea of hell.

Possibly self induced as we have zero family support so haven't been able to go out in the last 10 yrs and now I have anxiety about it.

But I'm happy as anything at home. So leave her be.

Urgh, how irritating. Not cricket op.

Agree, hate a reverse.

I don't really do group things, I find them dull and stressful. I much prefer one on one or a very small groups. I also don't like loud places, dark places nor brightly lit places. I'm a delight.

What has it got to do with you? She’s told you she is happy

accept and move on

I'm the same. I don't like big parties even weddings. I enjoy meeting in small groups, meals out etc. I used to turn up at parties and pretend to enjoy it but now I don't bother.

My controversial opinion is that - most - people don't like big noisy do's. Some do, some pretend they do, and others are upfront that they don't. The latter group are seen as strange for some bizarre reason. It's a bit like emperors new clothes/trans - no one dares sat out loud what they think for fear of being outcast, and yet everyone is thinking it.

Yes, your friend is happy not to go to these things. DH is very much an introvert and hates going to gatherings, so I go without him.

I don’t like a group bigger than six, ideally. Hate weddings and loud parties. Of course it’s fine not to like big nights out.

It’s very poor form to post a reverse, though.

What an odd question. Surely it’s enough for her if she’s choosing not to do those things ? You do understand the concept of individual preferences right ?

This is a really weird judgemental question.

My sister is exactly like this. She hates socialising at large events & making small talk with people that she has no real vested interest in. It literally drains her & zaps her energy.

She has no anxiety issues whatsoever. Has a great social life & circle of friends & is one of the happest people I know. No problem meeting people, just oe or one or in smaller groups.

People are different. It's very limiting to only see & understand things from you own point of view.

This is me. I used to force myself to do these things. There were lots of times during the event that I told myself “this is definitely the last time I put myself through this” but still went on to do more of them to fit in with everyone and not be a bore.

But I got to a point where I decided I get one life, it’s not worth acting my way through hours and hours at a place I’d rather not be.

I wish we could just take the questions at face value and have a good discussion!

Unless someone’s riling people up or scamming, does it matter?

We could just have easily had a discussion if OP said I am an introvert but my friends are always asking if my life is fulfilling enough etc. A reverse is just used to rile people up. It’s unnecessarily duplicitous.

It does matter @OriginalUsername2 , because it's distasteful towards the friend. The op is deliberately written to make the 'op' - ie the friend - look like a bellend, and it's totally from their pov. They then get responses essentially validating themselves, but it's disingenuous, because I'm sure had the friend written it, it would have a different perspective.

Not going clubbing/bar-hopping - fine. Not going to a wedding and letting it be known that you're not going because you just don't want to is rude as hell.

Alright, I deservingly got my ass handed to me.
And you all were right, it’s good for her and there for I’ll stop worrying where there is nothing to worry about.

It just popped into my mind lately, because a few of us were having a movie night - this friend including and other one who had just got into a relationship started asking her questions about her dating life.
And she just repeated what she always does - not interested in any of it.

To be clear, that time it wasn’t me who pushed issue, I just cane here to ponder about it. But it did make me wonder if she’s truly okey / could she be unhappy or lonely…

Few comments asked if she has said or talked about not being okey - no, never.
And if she’s flaky, no that too. She always shows up and if she’s not sure she wants to come over (casual stuff at someone’s place - no reservations etc) she’ll say just that.
Always true to her word, she’s amazing in this regard (and other things too of course).

Are you my friend? I promise you it’s more than enough for me to not do things I don’t enjoy, and instead spend time doing the things I do enjoy.

I would be very happy if I never went to another party, club, or bar again.

is it so hard to understand that those things are unpleasant for some people? I go, if it would hurt someone else’s feelings if I didn’t, but it’s unpleasant.

Good on her 👏! I see no issues with this !

Exactly this

It's not "sad" at all, just her preference. I dislike weddings/parties etc and rarely go to any - and I would never, never organise a "celebration" for myself. Please respect her wishes and enjoy the special one to one time that you have with her.

Do you not think she's enough? Incredibly tiresome view. Do you understand what introverted means. Being surrounded by small minded people that judge someone who openly shares they aren't comfortable with busy social situations must be hard on your friend.

A lot of harsh comments on here! A different perspective... I'm socially anxious but enjoy going out, though probably an introvert on balance. I missed most of my friends' 40th birthday parties because I felt terrified at the prospect. I was in a rubbish relationship where my partner would just leave me to fend for myself on social occasions. If a friend had kindly asked me what you had OP, I might have opened up about it; and could even have gone to things if I'd known there was someone who would look after me a bit at parties. So I think some of these posters should tone down the righteous indignation at your question; they don't know it all!

If she's happy then yes it's enough.
My daughter (17) is an introvert. She went out a few weeks ago to celebrate a friend's birthday. She had a really good time and enjoyed it all, but later she said 'that's my socialising done for six months now'. She is just perfectly happy in her own company doing her own thing. Needless to say she loved lockdown!
People should stop thinking quiet/introverted people need to be taken out of their comfort zone. No one asks extroverts to be quiet and go out of THEIR comfort zone!