Friend owes me money

[Ramunea]

Just after new years, my friend and I decided we wanted to get tickets for a show that was happening this summer. The plan was for her (and another friend of hers) to send me money that day and we would buy the tickets.aid for all 3 tickets and when I sent invoices to both; My friend said she would pay me the following week on Friday, and her friend (who I don’t know) said that she would be able to pay me later on that week. I was a little annoyed as originally the plan was for all to send money to the other friend and she would pay; however as I didn’t know her; I agreed that everyone should send to me instead and everyone pay me instead.

Fast forward in the week and my friends friend pays me her portion of the money, so now it’s just my friend left to pay. Friday comes and I d didn’t hear from her. The weekend came and then the following Monday and I still hadn’t heard from my friend so prompted her with the price and my account details. She then replied with; she wouldn’t be able to pay as something has come up and if I would be able to wait until the following month. I said no as I needed the money totalled up (as I paid for) as opposed to dribs and drabs. Friend said she understood and would pay me soon. The next few weeks passed and still no payment.

The following month is approaching and friend mentioned to me that her payday is the last day of the month. Payday comes and again I hear and see nothing. First week into the month passed and I hear nothing, so I calmly prompt friend with the price and ask her to make payment to x account. Friend then replies that something has come up and would I mind if she gives me £x amount instead of £xxx amount. I’ve said no as again; I need the money to pay my own bills, and I can’t do that when it comes in dribs and drabs so I need the total money. Friend then goes into she has been having some difficulties (which I get however friend is single, working full time and living in social housing which I know she receives extra money to help pay, and no bills except travel and phone bill. I am a single parent, working full time with car payments, expenses, bills that I need to keep on top of). Would I be unreasonable to sell the ticket if she has not paid within the next few days?

it seems harsh but I think it’s the principle that really irks me. Also friend is notoriously known for her wild and bad spending habits; hence why I have never loaned her money or given money in the past and is often borrowing from everyone. I have told friend I need the money as money is tight but I believe she feels her problems are worst that mine and that’s what really annoys me.

YABU - Don’t sell the ticket and wait for your friend to pay you back. Even if it never happens.

YANBU - Sell the ticket and ditch the friend.

Sadly, I think there's a certain kind of calculating person who will deliberately suggest that somebody else pay upfront and then the others pay them back, counting on that coming with the automatic 'benefit' of a long period of credit - or even hoping that it can be kicked into the long grass and they can avoid ever paying at all.

Note, they will nominate/insist on a specific person to pick up the bill - they won't ever say "Is it easier if one of us pays for it all upfront? Shall I do it? Does somebody else want to?"

And considering that they could probably put it on a credit card and then get the best part of two month's credit anyway - along with the use of the other people's money for that time (assuming that they do pay up) - they're obviously planning to be in it for the long haul.

She’s no friend.

She is no friend and after all of this the friendship is over anyway. Would your friend’s friend still want to go if it was just the two of you?

I would offer the ticket(s) to you wider friendship circle at least then you can go with someone you know, or re-sell.

@ChiefPearlClutcher
Im not entirely sure if her friend would still want to come if my friend doesn’t; but I will let her know when I’m selling the ticket in case she would like to sell hers too (and pay her back) and I will find two other friends who would like to go.

She said we can all send the money to her friend she her friend will pay

Perhaps she considered her own friend an easier touch and less likely to expect her money back?
Anyway I'd say the chances of you getting it are about nil, so I'd sell the ticket and be done with it

Give the person who has paid her ticket and sell the other one.

In future either be responsible for your own tickets or get the money upfront. I wouldn't be communicating with the friend again tbh. If she wants to go she can buy her own ticket off her own back.

I think unfortunately she may have got round the other friend and found her easier not to have to pay back for the ticket, hence wanting her to purchase all the tickets in the first place.

What I would do is: tell her you have another buyer for the ticket - you are giving her until the end of the week to pay for her own ticket, otherwise you are going to have to sell the ticket on. You've given her plenty of warning.

@Puzzledandpissedoff
I think this may have been the case. The other friend wouldn’t have minded subbing her for the ticket but the other friend didn’t even have the money either which makes me think she most likely would have borrowed the money elsewhere to buy them.

My friend does this a lot (we have only became friends within the last year or so) and I have slowly picked up on her bad money management and her friends seem to all sound very similar.

I think she would have done the same with her friend with expecting her to pay and leaving it weeks and months without paying back - I assume this as my friend is always talking about owing someone money that they have borrowed her. I think this is why it’s such a problem to pay now as I get the impression where she would have usually borrowed from someone else to pay me - she has exhausted her other options with not paying people back; and so again has agreed to doing something without having the money to actually pay for it.

Whilst I’m a single parent, I’m better with money management and earn more money from my job than my friend does - so I know in the back of her mind she thinks I can do without the money as I am getting paid from work.

This and don't do this again!

@AviMav
point taken and believe me this was the first and last time I do this again.

This is even the main reason why I wanted to purchase the tickets.

I’ve realised friends money management could do some help and the friends I have heard about all seem to be bad with money too. Last thing I wanted was to send someone unknown, £120 and then not receive a ticket or my money.

Friend promised to make payment on the following Friday and I made her swear she will pay me back as I needed the money. Also friend knows money is tight and knows reason why I have previously not been able to go to the show was because money was tight. Even the few days after I bought the ticket I spoke to my friend and again reiterated that I wanted the money back on the Friday as the promise made to me was that her friend was great with money and would never have me waiting to get it back. I then pointed out to my friend that that may be the case; however she still has not yet paid me back and I bought the tickets last week. Friend seemed embarrassed (as not only was the 3rd ticket bought for someone I don’t know, but also if the friend was so good with money and originally had the money to buy 2 tickets, why has the money disappeared when she had to send it to me) and moments later her friend then called to thank me for buying her ticket and sent me the money.

I then reminded my friend numerous times that I would prefer the money back sooner rather than later and friend just kept saying she will sort it but weeks passed and I still haven’t got the money back.

100% agree with the above!