To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.

I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.

For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!

"I couldn't cope/didn't have the privilege so no one else should". Oh please.

Love these bosses forcing working women to sign things to say they will put their kids in childcare (with no addition to salary, might I add). But lets force women back into work, yes yes.

Like they would even know if meetings are being attended and the deadlines are being met.

Don't take all of this on your shoulders - your DH has children too - it's a new job for you, give it 100%, let him show up for the children and work at the same time.

My 6 and 9 year old would not cope well with this set up. Yours might, mine wouldn’t.

I worked from home for many many years and went to client meetings as appropriate.

I saw every type of piss take and I am ashamed to say mainly from women with children. Refusal to attend meetings far away. Declining team calls at certain times of the day and with one women she actually did admit to me what she was doing. I suggested a call at 1730 as she refused one at 1600 to be told 1730 was after time!

Yes, I did have children and yes I did put them in after school clubs and holiday sessions.

Succinctly put.

I think this is fine for one offs when they're ill, or school is closed unexpectedly, or childcare is sick etc. But I don't think it's fair on anyone (you, them, or your colleagues) to do it all holiday.

Itchy. Are you really suggesting that bosses are forcing women to use childcare with no extra salary!!!!

I have heard everything now……

What a hilariously contradictory comment. Working from home and leaving the kids to make their own entertainment is "overindulging" but sending them to a holiday club with activities put directly in front of them somehow isn't? Staying home whilst your parent is busy working IS being bored. You could argue the kids that need constant entertainment are the overindulged "snowflakes" (that word makes me cringe by the way and reeks of ignorance) who can't be left to be creative.

What I think is a pisstake is the cost of childcare and that’s what led to me keeping dc at home while i work as the alternative was a choice of only 2 nurseries, both extremely expensive and neither provided the level of care I would want for my child unfortunately. Plus especially now in the currently economic climate I need my money to pay my bills not to have to pay out just over half of it on nursery fees !

Well, when I was at home with a toddler, I found that full time work! There was nap time, but that wasn't long.
OP I think you may need something else in place, even for contingencies.

Frogs. Do you think that is fair on either your employer or the rest of the team that they work around your lack of childcare or your toddler having a tantrum.

This. It’s not looking after your kids to be working full time. Nor is it working full time if you’re spending part of the time supervising them. Can understand wanting to save money but it’s not a reasonable approach to childcare for the holidays.

My youngest is 11 and I avoid him being stuck at home during the holidays, my absolute most is one day per week when I know one of my older ones is around and it’s been agreed that they’ll take the youngest out even just for lunch or something. Luckily he likes a lie in and will sleep in until about 10 as it’s only one day a week so makes the most of it. I take a short break to make him some breakfast and then he will get himself showered and dressed and seek out older sibling for a game of something.
WFH really needs to not be seen as a convenient way of not paying for childcare.

I have a 16 yr old teenager come to play with my kids in the holidays whilst I’m working from home. I pay minimum wage so it’s cheaper than a holiday club, but fine for them and as I’m there too in case of anything serious, it’s more a big brother or sister to entertain and play with them. I break and make them all lunch. Works well for everyone and teen has said it’s the best job they’ve had. As long as your expectations are just entertainment not a super professional nanny and it’s for older kids (min 5/6 yrs old) it works really well.

I take advantage of WFH with youngest dc who's 5 (others are teens so don't need looking after)...but only so far.

In half term I could pay £46 a day for 8-6 holiday club at the local nursery (I work 8.30 to 5.45). Or I can pay £15 for the sports camp at the local leisure centre which is 8.30-3.30.

I choose the sports camp and save a fortune, especially over the summer holidays. It means I'm late for work by 15 minutes (no one notices). And I disappear for 20 minutes at 3.20 to do pick up. Usually dc is so exhausted from sports camp he'll veg out in front of the TV until 5.45 and it doesn't have much impact. When I've done this for several days I'll make up a couple of hours one evening so I stay on track.

I wouldn't even consider having a 5 year old at home all day every day whilst working though. It's unfair on both work and the child and would be horrifically stressful.

It’s fine because I do the work I’m meant to , nobody is picking up the slack for me so it affects nobody else and isn’t an issue . I have 2 meetings a week usually and as I said , dh is SE so can have dc then. Mon morn 10-12 a friend is here and Tue morn 10-12 mil has dc it works out fine for all involved

It’s fine for a couple of days here and there. It’s good for kids to have a couple of low key days at home entertaining themselves.

There is honestly no way to wfh with kids at home without them being left to their own devices for a huge amount of time. So you’re there but not really there as you’re basically telling them not to be around you. In our house it resulted in kids just being left on screens. It is only after that I realised what a HUGE disservice we did to them asking them to keep quiet playing etc etc. That being said if they can be flexible with hours it’s doable. Best of luck!

For a few days of course it's fine. I sometimes feel like these people who constantly try and entertain their kids and have them in every group going over the school holidays are on a different planet to me.

Might they get a bit bored? Maybe. Might you have to tell them to play quietly for a hour while you're on a call? Maybe. Is that the end of the world? No.

6 I'd say no. Mine are 8 and 10 and for the odd day here and there when school was shut it's ok.

If I was your manager I wouldn't be impressed.

Also, it's not exactly fair on the kids either.

I have 9 and 12 year olds and I can work from home with them at home. I don’t think I can do it if they are under 8. They just don’t have enough sense to not bother me or entertain themselves. I still don’t leave them without childcare for days in a row. Only a day in a week. They get bored and it’s not fair for them.

Well the one with a 1yo doesn’t use childcare when she works. I’m not angry about it, I just think it sounds super stressful!

I have two children (a bit younger than yours) and me and my partner work from home, without any issues (from 3pm we have them both at home as there's no after school club and we have no family).

It's maybe not perfect, but they play together just fine and barely need us. I still deliver on all my tasks, meet my deadlines with ease, and consistently get great feedback from colleagues. If there's an important meeting, I keep the door closed, and the kids know not to disturb me.

We have worked from home since the onset of the pandemic, and the kids were still very young then, and at home since nurseries were closed, so they have learned that we are not always available for them, and instead to play together with their toys, in the garden, or watch a movie. For what it's worth, they are happy, healthy, loved, do well in school, and best friends with very few fights.

During the bank holidays I plan fun activities, and the remainder of the holidays they are in holiday club 2 days (which only runs 10-1). For summer holidays I still need to find a holiday club, and I will take 2 weeks off and so will my partner - so 1 week together as a family, 2 weeks with just one parent, and holiday clubs for the other 3 weeks. There will be occasional days where they are 'on their own', and perfectly happy.

What I find is that with older children, I can sign them up for short per activity days. Like gymnastics or drama classes which go from 10 to 3. They get something to do and I have flexible working to pick up and drop off.

Crikey calm down - “people like me” I haven’t even done anything yet 😂drama llama!