Relocating back to London from Asia - where do I start

[FirstTimeMummyHK]

Hi mums, I have been in asia for 10 years and have been working as a lawyer full time since I arrived (some of which was spent as a paralegal and trainee). I have worked very hard to get to where I am. I have two children, ages 5 and 18 months and feel as if I have missed a lot of their special moments as I have always worked long hours.

We have always had weekends together, but haven’t made it back for bedtime most nights. I now work in-house and so things are better but I am a stressy one, give me work and I will slog away. In Asia full time domestic help is easily available and I have benefited from that (I have had wonderful nannies who are affordable) and so I have never had to worry about the kids being well looked after or shlapped from pillar to post whilst mummy is working.

Anyway - we are relocating back to london soon and DH will find it difficult to find work for various reasons; whereas because of my PQE level and experience won’t find it as hard to get something.

I am very unsure of what to do, do I continue working full time and if so, where do I start when it comes to childcare? What happens after school for a 5 year old - so I need to organise an after school nanny or are there clubs that keep them
until 6pm?

if I decide to work part time like 3 days per week then is this the kiss of death to my career / can it even be done for a transactional banking lawyer? Will I feel like all that work I went through to get to where I am will be a waste if I take a career break and have to start many ranks lower on the ladder?

i recognise my post is a little all over the place but I am feeling very anxious and worried about money and childcare and setting ourselves up so really anything positive re relocating back to uk is welcome!! No chances of changing our minds. We need to come
back for wider family reasons.

we will be eating into our savings as soon as we return so I will
need to at least get a part time job I think.

I need to make this AIBU so will say - AIBU to be so anxious…!

Thank you for getting this far. Best wishes. M.

@PotKettel 's attitude is 100% the correct one, if you find yourself in a situation where both parents have to work. It's a very can-do, muddle through, everything will be fine attitude, and it works because, by and large, everything will be fine.

That said, for perfectionist types (which many, many lawyers are by nature and/or are trained to be), this sentence makes one's heart sink:

When you can cook spaghetti bolognese whilst on a conference call and supervising your kids playing Play Doh, then you know you’ve made it as a working parent.

There has not been a single call I could have done justice to while cooking spaghetti bolognese, or playing with my child. And, neither of my children would have benefited from me being on a call while supposedly playing Play Doh with them (they would have demanded, and been entitled to imo, my undivided attention as to me this is no different from being on the phone when placing a starbucks order at the counter of being on the phone to someone when my parents are visiting and not letting them get on with other stuff).

I KNOW that you just have to do it, you just have to make the best of it and get through everything to earn the money and get your kids to the next stage of independence. But in the above scenario, nobody is winning at doing things well and, deep into the second half of parenthood, I've found that time speeds up and not only do your children often need and want you more and more intensely, the early years seem to just whizz by without you even knowing it. You wake up one day and they're gone. This is why I always advise younger women coming up to think very hard about what they want and what sort of compromises they're willing to make. And, unfashionably, to choose their life partner very carefully. (And, I'm sorry to say, to think of other professions than the law or banking.)

@Partyandbullshit agreed; thank you.

thanks to all posters - lots to look into and prepare for!