@eligkab I understand that you’re trying to help the OP but do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a useless dad like this to step up?
My ex-h hasn’t paid a penny in years. He either massively under reports his self-employed income or racks up huge arrears with the CMS that he simply doesn’t pay and they don’t bother chasing.
That said - I do recommend at least having something formal from the CMS in place they can deal with him.
OP - I’m in a very similar position.
This is what I do to help:
I have joined a gym with a creche. It’s more expensive but worth it for the childcare.
I do babysitting exchanges with a few friends so every so often I’ll babysit for a friend and they return the favour.
We have girls night’s in so I can socialise. A friend who is also a single mum will come around for a takeaway and we’ll stay up with a bottle of wine after the kids fall asleep. It’s not the same as going out but it means I don’t feel isolated.
In the past I’ve used Childcare.com or staff from the kids’ nurseries to babysit.
Frolo is a great place to meet single parents and meetups often include kids.
Finally, give up thinking that you can make up be a decent dad. He never will be and I’m guessing that contributed to your split. The minute you stop expecting anything and put things in place for your own life, you’ll feel a lot happier and less stuck.
I 100% understand that we shouldn’t have to accept shitty fathers for our kids but these men will never change - my ex-h has been sleeping on his brother’s sofa for years - it’s best to not let it get you down.