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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to stay at work late?

272 replies

Onlyyours · 04/03/2023 10:36

I’m a teacher. Due to strikes a parents evening has been rearranged, but I had plans for that evening.

Am I within my rights to refuse to do it, given the circumstances?

OP posts:
Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:33

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 11:31

YABVU. Four weeks is absolutely reasonable notice.

This wouldn’t have even happened if you weren’t striking.

And this why I hate being a teacher. Where do you even start with the levels of ignorance and entitlement in this statement?

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 11:35

Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:33

And this why I hate being a teacher. Where do you even start with the levels of ignorance and entitlement in this statement?

Show quote history

Well if you hate being a teacher I’d advise you look for other work. Life’s too short to be miserable.

fajitaaaa · 04/03/2023 11:38

The whole point of the strike was so shit like this doesn't get done.

Nimbostratus100 · 04/03/2023 11:40

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 11:31

YABVU. Four weeks is absolutely reasonable notice.

This wouldn’t have even happened if you weren’t striking.

It was a strike though

Nimbostratus100 · 04/03/2023 11:41

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 11:35

Well if you hate being a teacher I’d advise you look for other work. Life’s too short to be miserable.

Show quote history

The trouble is, so many teachers have done exactly that, that now thousands of classes across the country have no teacher

DontSetYourselfOnFireToKeepOthersWarm · 04/03/2023 11:44

Christ, imagine being the kind of person who reads this and thinks 'well I have unreasonable things forced on me on my job, so I think it's only fair if it's just as miserable for everyone else'.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 04/03/2023 11:47

don't give up your concert tickets.
make yourself available a different evening for a 5-7 minute zoom call with any parent who would have wanted to speak with you at the parents evening.

we have had parents evenings where 1 or 2 teachers weren't there. it's no biggy.

Schnooze · 04/03/2023 11:47

i don’t think you should have to waste the money. Rearrange for another time as a compromise. Like people say, that’s still doing a favour as it work that shouldn’t be done as it was on strike day.

FredInYourHead · 04/03/2023 11:48

Yanbu, enjoy the concert!

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 04/03/2023 11:48

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 11:31

YABVU. Four weeks is absolutely reasonable notice.

This wouldn’t have even happened if you weren’t striking.

The OP might not even have been striking, but sufficent other staff were to make the parents evening not viable.

Brefugee · 04/03/2023 11:51

Whether or not its within your rights to refuse, it's a pretty shitty thing to do imo.

is it? or is it shitty to expect teachers to never ever book anything in their private life in case they might have to rearrange a parents' evening?

No, OP, it isn't unreasonable to say you're not working and to use your tickets as you planned. No need to be confrontational (not that i think you would) or even offer an alternative. Just say "sorry, no can do" and handle what comes next as appropriate. (I'm nosey, what are the tickets for?)

Original poster
Onlyyours · 04/03/2023 11:54

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks - it really isn’t reasonable notice. In teaching, the whole calendar is done in September and I booked the tickets in November (Black Friday deal!) in perfectly good faith.

I wasn’t even bloody on strike! I was there and available to do the parents evening on the original date - it’s the head who changed it.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 04/03/2023 11:56

YABVU. Four weeks is absolutely reasonable notice.

bollocks. I bought tickets for a gig more than a year in advance (I'm not a teacher but i do sometimes get asked to work late or weekends). I have told everyone i work with and for that this date is a date they won't be seeing me after my usual finish time. If i were a teacher i would be saying the same (but i would probably offer updates to parents at another time)

But i agree with pp - it was a strike day. This parents' evening has been and gone and that's it.

whynotwhatknot · 04/03/2023 12:00

The op didnt even participate in the strike so its irrelevant

tell them you cant do it due to engagment booked in november

Dragonsandcats · 04/03/2023 12:04

Whether you were on strike or not it’s irrelevant. You bought the tickets in good faith according to the calendar at the time. I think you should be able to attend. And try to offer feedback to parents another time.

StarsSand · 04/03/2023 12:07

YANBU.

You bought tickets in good faith. Factors beyond your control uprooted the original plan.

You shouldn't loose money because of that, or miss out on your concert.

I would go to the head with an alternative plan though, not just say you won't be there.

Some comments on here are so rude. No idea why people feel the need to stick the boot in to teachers.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2023 12:07

Vloader23 · 04/03/2023 10:52

Assuming it is part of your employment contract that you need to attend these sorts of things with reasonable notice then yes YABU

4 weeks isn't reasonable notice.

ichundich · 04/03/2023 12:08

One of the reasons why I don't support the strikes. Many people have been affected worse by them, OP. I've had to take 2 days off work unpaid because my DC's school was closed for them and will have to take another 2 days off later this month due to teacher strike action.

ichundich · 04/03/2023 12:08

Meanwhile in the real world 🙄.

HelpINeedSomeAdvicePlease · 04/03/2023 12:08

Nimbostratus100 · 04/03/2023 10:44

well, you need to speak to your union

If this is work that you didn't do because you were striking, then I don't think it can be rearranged

but speak to your union rep

Seriously?

ichundich · 04/03/2023 12:09

ichundich · 04/03/2023 12:08

Meanwhile in the real world 🙄.

In response to ilovesooty.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2023 12:09

BlackFriday · 04/03/2023 11:06

People are missing the point here in that it was scheduled for a strike day. Therefore it doesn't happen.
Them's the breaks and the Head should not have re-scheduled it.

Agreed.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2023 12:11

ichundich · 04/03/2023 12:08

Meanwhile in the real world 🙄.

The calendar should be in place at the beginning of the academic year.

In any case this event didn't take place because of strike action and shouldn't be rescheduled.

Phineyj · 04/03/2023 12:13

In every school I've ever worked in you phone or email parents if you can't make parents' evening. Especially in this case where you were actually available for the darn thing.

NEmama · 04/03/2023 12:14

@ichundich she wasn't even striking.
Tickets booked months in advance for an evening event.
Calendar consulted before booking.
Op is absolutely not unreasonable to tell school she is not available.
Most people wouldn't have an evening meeting dropped on them especially without checking availability first.
However due to the unreasonable nature of schools they may try to insist. Union would back you op.