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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nightclub took DDs epipens

506 replies

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 08:56

My DD - 18 and a 1st year uni student - went to a nightclub last night and they refused to let her keep her epipens on her. They said if she needed them
She had to go to the medical room.

She was with a group of friends and had all paid to get in and the venue also refused to refund if they decided not to go in.

AIBU to be absolutely livid and to follow this up with the company.

For context my daughter has a life threatening allergy to nuts - but not peanuts.

OP posts:
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Original poster
anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 10:09

Theluggage15 · 04/03/2023 09:59

Do epipens have a prescription label on them? If your daughter has ID that clearly matches the name on the prescription label then it’s clearly for her use and not spiking others. In any case, they need to rethink that policy, she shouldn’t be separated from it.

The prescription label is on the cardboard box but the pens are in separate plastic holders (which prevent them jabbing someone accidentally) epipens can have a use by date up to 18 months in the future so the box doesn't survive being carried around all the time.

Not sure how she'd get an ID card to show her allergy - she had one from the anaphylaxis society once but it wasn't official or printed so not sure it would help.

OP posts:
Simonjt · 04/03/2023 10:09

I have never had my epi-pen taken from me (even in police custody), if a venue attempted to take it from me I personally wouldn’t be walking through those doors. I would however be contacting them and informing as many people that they want to cause harm to those who require auto-injectors.

Absolutely terrifying that some people thinking giving an epipen to a stranger in a uniform in a busy club is in anyway a suitable compromise.

pink1173 · 04/03/2023 10:09

Who are all these people that just stop doing anything for their children once they turn 18??? I don’t know anybody like that and I just don’t get it. Definitely make a complaint to the club on behalf of or with your daughter. Good luck!

Simonjt · 04/03/2023 10:10

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/03/2023 10:08

I'd help her feel empowered by her condition

What does that even mean? That she's lucky to have a disability that grants her 'extra privileges', such as the hugely increased risk of dying from something that would be no issue for most people?

Disability is not the same as a lifestyle choice or a fetish.

Yeah, the inspirational porn people are very frustrating.

Original poster
anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 10:11

pink1173 · 04/03/2023 10:09

Who are all these people that just stop doing anything for their children once they turn 18??? I don’t know anybody like that and I just don’t get it. Definitely make a complaint to the club on behalf of or with your daughter. Good luck!

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Targetted · 04/03/2023 10:12

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:06

As a PP said there are lots of instances of spiking where these rape drugs are disguised as things like epipens which is why they’ve decided to get a dedicated medical room (which I think is great

Is there? Have you any links to that?

Yes, there are loads if you Google. Most often in University towns. Most of the campaigning has demanded that people are searched for such devices on entry.

www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/mum-spiked-epipen-style-injection-6213189

itsgettingweird · 04/03/2023 10:12

I'd complain.

With regards schools keeping epipens locked in a medical room I refused to allow that to happen with my ds'.

Mh argument was and is that you need it immediately. If you start losing consciousness you cannot take yourself to a medical room.

And my argument when they said it was to stop others using them was you don't punish a victim (or risk their life) because the perpetrator is a twat! I said they needed to educate other pupils about what they were for, about not using them and make it clear if they made a CHOICE to use somebodies prescribed medicine (and if that out their life at risk or worse) they'd be facing criminal charges.

I hate all this "we need to have these rules to stop others breaking them".

It's a lifesaving medicine required instantly.

TidyDancer · 04/03/2023 10:12

I think you could certainly question and clarify the policy to ensure this doesn't happen again but I agree with previous posters, you can't complain for your DD. She is an adult and they probably won't accept a complaint from you on this. I agree you should support her if she wishes to move forward on it.

Oblomov23 · 04/03/2023 10:13

Goodness this is disgraceful. Please encourage her to at least send an email of complaint.

IkaBaar · 04/03/2023 10:14

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 10:09

The prescription label is on the cardboard box but the pens are in separate plastic holders (which prevent them jabbing someone accidentally) epipens can have a use by date up to 18 months in the future so the box doesn't survive being carried around all the time.

Not sure how she'd get an ID card to show her allergy - she had one from the anaphylaxis society once but it wasn't official or printed so not sure it would help.

Show quote history

I take the Epi pens out but keep the boxes with them, they seem to last longer. Alternatively you can speak to the community pharmacist about labelling the actual pens. Or laminate the dispensing label?

megletthesecond · 04/03/2023 10:14

No one is empowered by food allergies FFS. I think it takes years to have the hide and confidence of a rhino when dealing with them. My 16yo has started missing the odd event with mates as he isn't confident enough to deal with restaurant management and his mates aren't old enough to deal with potential anaphylaxis. He'll get there, but not for a few years yet.

Greenraincoat12 · 04/03/2023 10:15

lottie2888 · 04/03/2023 08:58

I’ve worked in clubs for years. This is not the norm. Tbh it’s probably an over zealous security member who are often an outside company. I’d 100% follow it up with the club.

It's disgusting.
My DD has the same allergy, carries epi pens.
The specialist said treat them like a pair of shoes, you wouldn't leave the house without them.
I'd have been livid. I would follow up yes.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:16

Targetted · 04/03/2023 10:12

Yes, there are loads if you Google. Most often in University towns. Most of the campaigning has demanded that people are searched for such devices on entry.

www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/mum-spiked-epipen-style-injection-6213189

Show quote history

I googled and found 1.

Hardly loads

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:16

megletthesecond · 04/03/2023 10:14

No one is empowered by food allergies FFS. I think it takes years to have the hide and confidence of a rhino when dealing with them. My 16yo has started missing the odd event with mates as he isn't confident enough to deal with restaurant management and his mates aren't old enough to deal with potential anaphylaxis. He'll get there, but not for a few years yet.

Why not? Why hasn't he been shown how to talk to restaurant staff.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:18

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:16

Why not? Why hasn't he been shown how to talk to restaurant staff.

Show quote history

FFS - do you know how hard it is dealing with food allergies?
It's hard to trust restaurants, to get them to take it seriously as an adult, let alone as a 16 year old.

FlamingoQueen · 04/03/2023 10:18

I can’t believe the people on here at times - she’s 18, let her complain! Bloody hell!
You are 100% entitled to complain to the club and I would do so, if I were you. The club receiving an email from your daughter would be taken completely differently from her parent writing. If they could guarantee that your dd had her epipen from the medical room in the same time as it took her to reach into her handbag in a busy and loud nightclub then fair enough - but I think we all know it wouldn’t happen like that! They would be shut down for sure, if something like that were to happen in their club. As a health and safety matter, surely a quick risk assessment could have been done - risk of your dd attacking someone with her epipen vs saving her life!
Please fight this and let us know how you get on.

Benjispruce4 · 04/03/2023 10:18

You can get an allergy card. If your son isn’t confident talking about it he can just hand the card to waiting staff. My DD had one when travelling in Spain as she wasn’t confident on translations.

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:18

bonjello · 04/03/2023 09:56

Why is she embarrassed about it? I'd help her feel empowered by her condition and maybe help draft an email for her if she really can't do it herself

Show quote history

Empowered to deal with her condition.

Obviously no one is empowered by an allergy.

Coraline353 · 04/03/2023 10:19

This is awful. I'd be naming and shaming all over social media as well as complaining, liberally tagging in Anaphylaxis campaign and others.

Also all those news articles claiming spiking was done by an EpiPen like device are entirely without proof of that. I haven't seen a y where the device was actually found. Have you seen the size of needles on Epipens? They're bloody massive. Someone injects you with an EpiPen you're going to know about it, trust me. They were designed by the US military to go through heavy combat gear!

As for those asking why an 18 year old is embarrassed by her allergy you've obviously never had to go through the daily rigmarole of being the awkward one. No I can't go that restaurant because of nuts. No I can't share a takeout because of nuts. Yes I have to have a manager take.my order in the restaurant and be singled out because of nuts. It's endless and takes time to find that resilience.

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:20

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:18

FFS - do you know how hard it is dealing with food allergies?
It's hard to trust restaurants, to get them to take it seriously as an adult, let alone as a 16 year old.

Show quote history

Must be eating at different places to you. I've been out a lot with someone who can't eat gluten and they take it very seriously everywhere I've been.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:20

I don't think some people on here understand the worry food allergies cause.

Eating something and it could kill you. It breaks my heart and terrifies me when I read of people, especially young people, who die suddenly because of something they have eaten. And that's when they have their Epipens with them.

It's worrying enough having to manage your life like that. To try to enjoy it whilst thinking that there could be allergens around.

And then to have someone take away that thing that could save your life.

Boopeedoop · 04/03/2023 10:21

Hi sorry just to add. (probably not massively helpful)
Nightclub medics are very rarely paramedics, although they may be in greens they are mostly first responders, something called a frec 3 or maybe a 4.

It's absolutely astounding to me that they took these off of her.

RampantIvy · 04/03/2023 10:21

WandaWonder · 04/03/2023 09:46

How do they know she had one?

And at 18 why on earth are you involved? If she has an issue she can deal with it

Bloody hell!

Have you no understanding of 18 year olds?
If my DD at 22 had been ridden roughshod over something like this you can bet your life I would have got involved.
I doubt very much if many 18 year olds would have the confidence and knowledge about how to follow up something as serious as this.

Your remark shows a complete lack of empathy and social awareness, as well as being utterly ridiculous!

GrinAndVomit · Today 09:47
Your daughter needs to follow this up. If she’s old enough to go nightclubbing

And the same goes for you @GrinAndVomit

I suspect that both of you suscribe to the mumsnet myth that when DC turn 18 they miraculouslt become mateure, confident and responsible adults. The news is that they don't. You should know this from many of the posts from supposedly mature adults on mumsnet from posters who haven't seen 18 for many years.

Both of your comments are unhelpful and unsupportive Hmm

GrinAndVomit · 04/03/2023 10:21

Targetted · 04/03/2023 10:12

Yes, there are loads if you Google. Most often in University towns. Most of the campaigning has demanded that people are searched for such devices on entry.

www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/mum-spiked-epipen-style-injection-6213189

Show quote history

In OPs particular instance though, there are trained paramedics on site who can vouch that it is a medically prescribed epipen.

If not, the clubs ask for everyone’s ID.
perhaps the customer should have to go to an office, have their ID photocopied and their photo taken and a document with the name of the device and serial number etc.

There are much safer and more reasonable responses to this than just a blanket ban on something that can literally be the line between life and death.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:21

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:20

Must be eating at different places to you. I've been out a lot with someone who can't eat gluten and they take it very seriously everywhere I've been.

Show quote history

Good for you.

I am speaking from my experience