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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nightclub took DDs epipens

506 replies

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 08:56

My DD - 18 and a 1st year uni student - went to a nightclub last night and they refused to let her keep her epipens on her. They said if she needed them
She had to go to the medical room.

She was with a group of friends and had all paid to get in and the venue also refused to refund if they decided not to go in.

AIBU to be absolutely livid and to follow this up with the company.

For context my daughter has a life threatening allergy to nuts - but not peanuts.

OP posts:
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5
bonjello · 04/03/2023 09:57

GrinAndVomit · 04/03/2023 09:55

She’s an adult. You have to give her room to adult.

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I agree with this - she's off to uni. She has to learn to adult. You can support her of course but if she doesn't want you to complain then I'd leave it.

Mirabai · 04/03/2023 09:57

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 09:51

Urgh I wasn't asking for parenting advice. My daughter is self sufficient and capable but she is also 18, utterly embarrassed by her allergy and unlikely to do anything about this and it's a huge issue for anyone with a life threatening allergy that needs epi pens. And she's my daughter so it matters to me.

Show quote history

At 18 she needs to stop being embarrassed and advocate for herself and for others in a similar position.

bonjello · 04/03/2023 09:58

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 09:55

I'm not out to ruin the club I'm interested in whether I was being unreasonable in thinking it was unacceptable.

Ah right. No you're not unreasonable.

Original poster
anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 09:58

Grinandvomit - seriously...?

If the topic is outside of your knowledge and experience don't comment unless you're just here to troll.

She lives 200 miles away and is capable and self sufficient but is still my daughter and her well-being is central to my own. She is also young and has limited experience so I support her.

OP posts:
bonjello · 04/03/2023 09:59

Mirabai · 04/03/2023 09:57

At 18 she needs to stop being embarrassed and advocate for herself and for others in a similar position.

Show quote history

Just because she's got a medical condition doesn't mean she has to try and change the world for everyone else with the same medical condition

Rainbowshit · 04/03/2023 09:59

NoSquirrels · 04/03/2023 09:10

If they have a medical room, that’s staffed, and she and her group of friends were told where it is, then is it different to a school or education establishment holding the epi pens in their medical room?

My DC carry their epipens on them at all times. Have done since primary.

There have been instances where epipens held in medical rooms have been locked away and not been able to access them in time.

Theluggage15 · 04/03/2023 09:59

Do epipens have a prescription label on them? If your daughter has ID that clearly matches the name on the prescription label then it’s clearly for her use and not spiking others. In any case, they need to rethink that policy, she shouldn’t be separated from it.

Targetted · 04/03/2023 10:00

She's not going to be less embarrassed by her mum wading into this.

Maybe write a general enquiry asking about their policy, how they ensure everyone is safe without discriminating against anyone.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:00

The Daily Fail would be all over the club if someone had died because they could not get access to their Epipen in an emergency.

What about when it closes? You have to remember to get your Epipen from them afterwards. Easy to forget if you are so used to having it with you.

About 250,000 people carry Epipens in the UK. So they are not exactly uncommon.

Rainbowshit · 04/03/2023 10:00

gogohmm · 04/03/2023 09:25

There has been cases of people being injected maliciously in nightclubs. Whilst your dd genuinely needed them how can they guarantee that someone wouldn't use a medical device to sneak in an illegal substance? I can see the need for a balanced approach, having a fully staffed medical room is surprising to me, I'm impressed, I think that's a suitable compromise

No. It absolutely isn't a suitable compromise. They need epipens on them at all times.

Simonjt · 04/03/2023 10:01

NoSquirrels · 04/03/2023 09:10

If they have a medical room, that’s staffed, and she and her group of friends were told where it is, then is it different to a school or education establishment holding the epi pens in their medical room?

Schools hold an additional pen, the child will always have a pen on them/in their bag.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/03/2023 10:01

So how do you prove the person with the epipen looking device isn't going to spike someone?

How do you know that somebody using a wheelchair isn't actually an able-bodied person concealing a bomb? How do you know that somebody wearing stilettoes isn't going to take them off and use them to stab somebody? How do you know that a person with hands isn't going to use them to punch or choke somebody?

I'm all for reasonable security measures, but I don't accept that they should come wholly at the expense of the safety and dignity of disabled people.

GrinAndVomit · 04/03/2023 10:01

anaphyl4xis · 04/03/2023 09:58

Grinandvomit - seriously...?

If the topic is outside of your knowledge and experience don't comment unless you're just here to troll.

She lives 200 miles away and is capable and self sufficient but is still my daughter and her well-being is central to my own. She is also young and has limited experience so I support her.

What do you assume is out of my knowledge?
Having a daughter?
Loving an adult with a serious allergy?

Neither are correct.

WeWereInParis · 04/03/2023 10:03

maddy68 · 04/03/2023 09:54

Looking from the other side. There has been a huge Increase in spiking by needle it's not unreasonable to have them placed somewhere she can then access easily but don't pose a risk to others

Somewhere she can access easily? In a packed club, where the medical room probably isn't clearly signposted, and while having a reaction?

GrinAndVomit · 04/03/2023 10:03

GrinAndVomit · 04/03/2023 10:01

What do you assume is out of my knowledge?
Having a daughter?
Loving an adult with a serious allergy?

Neither are correct.

Show quote history

And your question wasn’t,

“My daughter has asked for my support in confronting this situation…”

Your question is AYBU for overriding your adult daughter’s wishes.

bigbluebus · 04/03/2023 10:04

I've never used or even seen an epipen but I assume it comes in a sealed packet with a prescription label on it so difficult (although I'm sure not impossible) to be tampered with? Totally different to the type of syringe that might be used by someone wanting to 'spike' an innocent club goer. But I'm happy to be corrected/educated.

If that is the case then the club were totally unreasonable to confiscate it.

Cocobutt · 04/03/2023 10:05

I would definitely find out what the protocol is.
I don’t get the posters saying you shouldn’t be involved as you are just supporting your child, although I do think it’s best I she asks as she’ll know exactly what happened.

As a PP said there are lots of instances of spiking where these rape drugs are disguised as things like epipens which is why they’ve decided to get a dedicated medical room (which I think is great).

But surely there must be a way to tell the genuine from the fake and maybe it’s something like she needs to bring the packaging with her or a prescription letter.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 04/03/2023 10:05

in the event of an attack, she would need that injection within a minute. I've been in nightclubs where it could easily take a good 15 minutes to cross the room. that's an unsafe, life-threatening policy. yes complain. hopefully get written confirmation by management that this was a mistake, and take a printout of that on any future visits.

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:05

I wonder how spiking is done in nightclubs?

Is it with syringes that look like syringes - or is it with devices that look like Epipens

Nightclub took DDs epipens
Nightclub took DDs epipens
ItsNotReallyChaos · 04/03/2023 10:06

You absolutely should complain about this.

It could so easily have catastrophic consequences... person with severe allergy has a few drinks, snogs someone who has been eating allergen, in a big venue can't work out where the medical room is. All precious minutes which could have a bearing on survival.

The whole point of Epipens is that they are designed to be used easily and immediately by the patient or people around them.

I have a severe peanut and tree nut allergy and simply will not be parted from my Epipens unless I'm in my own home which is a nut-free environment (and even then I know which room/bag they're in).

cakeorwine · 04/03/2023 10:06

As a PP said there are lots of instances of spiking where these rape drugs are disguised as things like epipens which is why they’ve decided to get a dedicated medical room (which I think is great

Is there? Have you any links to that?

Timingiseverythingcoll · 04/03/2023 10:07

90 seconds (I think) to administer the epipens…

I wouldn’t want to navigate a nightclub looking for a medical room in the dark… ffs!

bonjello · 04/03/2023 10:08

Timingiseverythingcoll · 04/03/2023 10:07

90 seconds (I think) to administer the epipens…

I wouldn’t want to navigate a nightclub looking for a medical room in the dark… ffs!

Yeah that's silly. I think the daughter should complain. She could be dead right now.

babblingbumblingbandofbaboons · 04/03/2023 10:08

As an adult with an epi pen this makes me angry! Others have pointed out that “not peanut” doesn’t mean low risk, any anaphylactic reaction to any allergen can be fatal, and I’d argue that you’re more likely to come into contact with tree nuts than peanuts in a nightclub environment.

Drinks like Amaretto are almond based (and I’m sure there are others that are nut based too) and while your daughter might know this and not drink it, asking for a drink in a loud busy nightclub it’s not unheard of to end up with the wrong drink, pick up the wrong one, end up with cross contamination if poured from a measure rather than an optic. Add in hooking up with people who you can’t guarantee haven’t been eating or drinking something nut based and the risk is higher again.

Your daughter can obviously take all of her usual precautions but the number one rule with epi-pens is to carry them at all times, because minutes matter and having them in another part of the building/in the car/in someone else’s bag could make a very serious difference! Complain to the club, and if they don’t take it seriously get the licensing authority involved!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/03/2023 10:08

I'd help her feel empowered by her condition

What does that even mean? That she's lucky to have a disability that grants her 'extra privileges', such as the hugely increased risk of dying from something that would be no issue for most people?

Disability is not the same as a lifestyle choice or a fetish.